Lately, I have been dreaming about my ex and not only do I find them disturbing, while still in the dream, I am disturbed for many hours after awakening. The dreams always center upon me pleading with her to come back to me. Needless to say, in the dreams, she is deaf to my plea's. Rationally, I am very aware that the relationship was emotionally damaging for me (due to her unreasoning jealousy) but that still does not keep me from loving her. Following the breakup I dated a number of women but not one of them even came close to my ex. I sure do wish I could take a magic pill that would erase all memory of my ex. I just woke up from such a dream and I feel just terrible.
I am sorry that things are rough for you, Eric. It is probably very difficult to move out from someone you love and have been with for a long time. You don't mention how long you with your ex, but long-term relationships are hard to move on from. I don't speak from experience, as I have never had to do it, but I have many friends who have done it, and it tears all parties apart if there was love in the relationship.
The strange part is that the relationship ended 25 years ago and yet I STILL think of her. Maybe I'm just plain nuts.
@Eric Cook If that's "nuts", I fear a lot of it is "going around". Mine ended over 40 years ago; I feel exactly as you do....... Frank
Sounds like you two need to re-establish contact, not necessarily romantic, but they may feel the same about you.
@Don Alaska We parted amicably. I wrote the divorce decree myself, outlining the division of assets, after we sold our house. I signed it, she took it to the judge who amazingly told her to return by the end of the week if she hadn't changed her mind. She did, he signed, and we parted company. No lawyer was involved. We have kept in touch over the years, but gradually that has become less and less frequent. The whereabouts of her younger sister, whom we took in at age 11 after they lost both parents is today unknown. This greatly troubles me. Frank
@Eric Cook Meaning my wife's sister? She drove down to Phoenix while we lived there, 1985. Last time I saw her. If you refer to my ex, I called her last April 23rd., her 70th. birthday, and we talked about an hour. She still resides in Vegas, the place I transported her to in 1972, from Chicago. She is a very accomplished Cosmetologist, schooled in Germany, and worked at the Mirage Hotel from the day it opened until she retired, some years ago.Thinking back, my feelings for her as a young man surpassed then anything I'd felt before, and though I re-married, I don't think it will ever be the same again. If "love" happens", if it exists at all, I doubt that we experience it more than one time........ Frank
Your dreams are expressing your feelings of despair Don's suggestion of contact is a good one but only if you can handle it and I'm not sure you can Do you know anything of her - has she moved on ? She may be feeling the same way but its an emotional risk for you Are you able to immerse yourself in a hobby or volunteer work ? so that there is a good distraction
Pray for your ex as God may be having you dream about her so often because she needs prayers. It doesn't matter if you don't know what to pray about...God knows what is going on with her and what she needs...so pray that His will be done in her life with whatever is going on. And you can also pray that if there is any contact to be between the two of you...may she contact you in some way first so that you will know it is of God. Twenty-five years is a long time and people do grow and change during these years. She may not be married anymore and she may have grown out of that jealousy, etc. and be thinking of you too. But if there is any coming together again...let God be the one who does the bringing together.
Hi Babs, I don't understand your post - Eric has the dreams because he hasn't let go If he did - the dreams would stop I had the same experience with my Mother - when I let go, the dreams stopped
I find in the latter few years I dream occasionally of my ex husband. We have been apart for more than 30 years....and both of us have remarried in that time (him several times)... me just once and it took me 20 years after my divorce to do it despite several proposals from 'boyfriends' due to the trauma of the marriage . We had no contact of any kind for most of that time..and I was the one who instigated the divorce proceedings . ...so I'm not hankering after something I miss from those days ..so it's been puzzling me why after all this time have I been dreaming about my ex (the father of my only child)..., and the only answer I can arrive at is that he was very different to my current husband, who in many ways has let me down for various reasons which will remain unspoken ..here My ex husband was a womaniser and a gambler, not someone in reality I would want to have back in my life..but I think maybe in my sub conscious mind ..when I'm having problems with the current one..the side of my ex which I fell in love with all those years ago when we were teens , is what comes to the fore in my dreams I'm only surmising because in truth I have no answers..