Joke Of The Day

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Craig Wilson, May 20, 2019.

  1. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    I don't mean small when I say wee. I am talking about the nurse that will ask you "How are WE doing this morning"? or "Have WE moved our bowels yet? or "WE didn't eat all our dinner did WE"?
     
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  2. Robert Teale

    Robert Teale Veteran Member
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    Och aye, the 'wee' nursees are bonnie, but the big nursees are bonnie too. :)
     
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  3. John Brunner

    John Brunner Senior Staff
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    It begs for the tried & true "...you got a mouse in your pocket" retort.
    Or perhaps "Where did we learn to speak that way?"

    You gotta wonder where they pick up such an indirect, avoidant demeanor.
    It's such a weird survival skill...and kinda creepy.
     
    #318
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  4. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    @Lon Tanner ..My answer...
    I am fine, and don't care if you did or not:)
     
    #319
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  5. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    When I ask someone “how are we doing” or “are we okay” it’s generally about coming to an understanding with an individual or being on the same page especially after an argumentative situation.
    I’d even use it in the context of being ready for an event as in, “are we ready” even though all I did was point fingers.

    As far as using we in a greeting situation.....naw. Doesn’t make sense.
     
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  6. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Sounds like a word from a tv medical show or movie.
     
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  7. Peter Renfro

    Peter Renfro Veteran Member
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    I sometime accompany my 93 year old father to medical appointments. I love watching him put these mostly women in their place when they start with the we and the baby talk phrases. Plainly tells them that there is a difference between old and stupid, and he will not tolerate being spoken to like a grade schooler.
    I have sometimes preceded him into the office to fore warn the staff not to condescend to him.
     
    #322
  8. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Veteran Member
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    One fine sunny morning, the Irish priest took a walk in the local forest.
    He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool.
    “What’s wrong with you?” said the Irish priest.
    “Well,” said the frog,
    “the reason I am so sad on this fine day is that I wasn’t always a frog.”
    “Really!” said the Irish priest. “Can you explain!”
    “Once upon a time I was an 11-year-old Choir boy at the local church. I too was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked w!tch of the forest.
    ‘Let me pass!’ I yelled, but to no avail.
    She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you.”
    “That’s an incredible story.” said the Irish priest.
    “Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?.”
    “Yes,” said the frog,
    “It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good night’s sleep would wake up a boy once again.”
    “Today’s your lucky day!” said the Irish priest, and picked up the frog and took him home.
    The Irish priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him.
    When the Irish priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed,
    And that my lord is the case for the Defense……. “
     
    #323
  9. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Veteran Member
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    One more from the same site. I removed the last couple of words to clean it up.
    A man walked into a bar with his pet octopus.
    He went up to the counter and bet everyone in the bar $50 that they couldn’t bring the octopus a musical instrument that it couldn’t play.
    One man pulled an old guitar off the wall that hadn’t been tuned in years and gave it to the octopus.
    The octopus took the guitar, tuned it right up and began play.
    There was no doubt that the octopus was an excellent guitar player.
    The man paid his handler $50 and sat down.
    Another man brought a saxophone to the octopus.
    The octopus took it and stared for a bit.
    After a minute or two, the octopus began playing a deep and soulful jazz solo.
    This man paid his $50 and sat down.
    The bartender went into the back and brought out a set of bagpipes.
    The bartender said, “I’ll bet $100 that the octopus can’t play these bagpipes.”
    The man agreed and handed them to the octopus. The octopus sat there eying the bagpipes up and down for quite a while.
    The handler began to get nervous so he said to the octopus,
    “Hurry up and start playing the thing”
    The octopus replied,
    “Play it? After I figure out how to get the pajamas off her I’m gonna
     
    #324
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  10. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
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    Silly jokes make me giggle and this is one of them .............

    How do you get down from an elephant ?

    You don't - - - you get down from a duck ! :p

     
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  11. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Veteran Member
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    I understand getting down from an elephant - you would have to eventually.
    But who would try to ride a duck?
     
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  12. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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    I rode a duck in Branson Missouri. They're lots of fun when they go charging into the water.
     
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  13. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    You ARE kidding, right, @Dwight Ward ?
    Actually I think that it is a goose that you get down from, not a duck. I have heard of goose-down Pillows and comforters, but not duck down, although it seems possible to me.

    Okay, I looked and you can get either duck down or goose down, it appears.
    https://backpackingmastery.com/basics/duck-down-vs-goose-down.html
     
    #328
  14. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Veteran Member
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    Okay, I think I get it now. If it was a normal duck you'd just squash the poor little thing if you tried to ride it. But maybe it's a great big, genetically modified duck. Riding it might be possible. They even named a search engine after that - DuckDuckGo!
     
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  15. Dwight Ward

    Dwight Ward Veteran Member
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    You ARE kidding, right, @Dwight Ward ?

    Yvonne, have I ever kidded you before? I'm completely cereal.
     
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