I was just trying to learn more about the disease in order to help my SIL as time goes on. Just looked at too much information .
I know how that is. When I googled "IBC" months ago I was devastated. My oncologist said "stop doing that; those are just numbers and most of them are based on decades old data."
I was just reading about how in the 1937 Funk and Wagnalls Encyclopedia (a very reputable source usually), it said that a person would die in 8 days with no food. The story was about a doctor who was in his 50’s and having so much pain from things Iike arthritis, neuropathy in his feet, diabetes, and heart problems; so he figured that if it only took 8 days of no food for him to die, it was worth it. Of course, at the end of the 8 days he was still alive, and the fast had even helped him to feel a lot better, and he decided that he wanted to live longer now that he was not in so much pain. So, even from good sources, the information might not be reliable.
I try to be optimistic . Astrologically it is suppose to be a good day for most things. My BFF whom I talk to every day, at least by text ,was not responding over 24 hours. I tried to rationalize the situation. I called this morning, and no answer. Panic mode. Few minutes later she called. Anyway she never got my texts. She is already in a nightmare due to unexpected remake of her master bath which is very small. Think I figured it out why she did not get texts. I was going this morning to return the Blue Bell Moo bars i bought, as they were all melted off the stick. Last week it was the Fudgesicles. With the total remake of their stores many frozen items melted and they just stuck they in anyway. Not happy. I needed gas in car as it was on Empty. So head to the Quick trip, all bays full, finally get spot. Machine will not take card tried least four times. Says see cashier inside Nooooo! Left went down to Murphy's which is n same lot as the Walmart I was taking back ice cream. I got gas thank goodness, but realized , I did not bring the ice cream! So, I have decided this is not my day and I am staying in. I have Rx to pick up and will take ice cream back then. There are days we all have had that are worse than this- me included, but so very aggravating
i am going to try and make it a good day. However there is dread in my heart, as a GD of mine is coming to stay for a few days. I dread it because she is 15 and has Asperger's. She talks non stop and easily explodes. I am only doing this because her mother is in need of a serious break . My daughter already knows that I will resort to calling police if necessary. Anyway this is my Pit for next few days. To add pain the neighbors from hell upstairs now have a kid or two they are babysitting for next few days. Joy , I can hardly wait, The noise was horrible yesterday. I drank my Five o'clock liquid yesterday . Ya'll have a good week end
A very close friend of my wife's sister died of cancer. Unfortunately, other than hospital staff helping her when she was in, she wouldn't do anything for herself at home. Wouldn't take her meds or anything. Her niece told my wife's sister, "her place is a total mess". IOW, she had given up complete hope of living, just like two others we knew did. From what I remember of her, being at our wedding, wedding reception and at our first wedding anniversary party, she was a very nice lady, but, some folks just simply "give up" when their health deteriorates to much. My SIL really wished my wife was with her to help her thru this time, but that just couldn't happen. We haven't been back in So. California since we left in May 2002.
Well let me say this about that. First, don't speak ill of the dead since you haven't had her experience with cancer and frankly you have no idea what that woman suffered. Cancer is vile and the treatment is equally vile, so until you have experienced the absolute illness of treatment you have no right to judge her. If her "place was a mess," maybe someone should have offered to HELP HER instead of gossiping like a ninny. And yes, people do "give up" when their quality of life deteriorates to a point where living is simply torturous. Your judgemental blather is particularly grating today, so zip it.
I totally agree about the depression, when you believe that there is nothing to live for, or that you aren’t going to live even if there was something worthwhile. When my heart was so awful bad, and Bobby was dying from liver cirrhosis, and we lived in the dumpiest old trailer house in the whole world (overrun with rats, roaches, bedbugs, and who knows what else), too hot all summer, freezing all winter, and I was just hoping every night that I would not have to wake up the next morning. I didn’t feel like it was right for me to ask God to let me die, but I sure was ready for Him to do that. I had given up on even trying to care about myself or my health, because everything seemed totally hopeless. Oh, yeah, I almost forgot, and old truck that would not shift out of first gear, and we lived in the country, so I had to drive clear into town when we needed something. Thankfully, I have the most wonderful daughter in the whole world. She came and rescued us, lets us live in her rental house here in town, and with the care of good doctors, both Bobby and I recovered, and now live a much more healthy life. Like @Beth Gallagher said, it is too bad that the SIL’s friend’s daughter didn’t help her mother instead of gossiping about her.
Ok, Beth and others, my wife knows about cancer, her son died of it, but both my wife and her sister understood and agreed with me about the "giving up" statement. As far as "help" goes, she didn't want any from her family or from my SIL (wife's sister). My wife sister just basically, left her alone. It's extremely hard to have a friend that complains about health and pain all of the time, but doesn't nothing about it and that's the way the lady was. The ladies niece is the one that kept my SIL in the loop of how things were. They don't want any help from anyone, unless they have to go to the hospital. I was an EMT for a few years and I seen this. People who refused to see their doctor to get help. The only help they got was when they had to go to the ER. I worked for a Senior Healthcare Company. I seen a number of patients, at our Centers, sitting in a wheelchair outside, with an oxygen tank and breathing apparatus attached hanging down, smoking a cigarette. Their option, but still. My wife's best friend, Maid of Honor at our wedding, was exactly like this. She wound up with Lupus and very, very bad arthritis. Unless she went to the ER, from her husband calling an ambulance, she wouldn't get any medical help at all. Refused to see her own doctor, even though the ER doctor highly recommended it and wouldn't take the meds sent home with her from the ER and hospital. She go so bad that her husband, that we both knew, wouldn't allow us to come down to Daytona Beach to see them during the last couple of years we lived in Florida. She hallucinated a lot around her husband. She didn't want to see her two sons, their families/grandkids anymore and her sons didn't want to see her. She was that messed up, from her own fault. No doctor, no meds, "just let me die" was her feelings and her husband told us that, without a doubt, how she felt. He told us, "she has completely lost her mind". The other person we knew was my 1/2 sister. I only knew her by name. She was at our wedding in 2001 and seemed totally fine. A year or so later, after we had moved to Colorado, I heard from my 1/2 brother that her health had become bad. She had a doctors appointment and passed away in her wheelchair while waiting for him to come into his examining room. Later, her husband to my 1/2 brother, "she totally gave up on life and died right their in his examining room." Her husband was very upset that, as his words were "she gave up". Sorry for making this this long, but it's the only way I can explain by including what happened to SIL friend, my wife's friend and my 1/2 sister.
Totally understand about the "gossiping like a ninny" statement, but, very unfortunately, she didn't want/refused help. And, when someone refuses help, of any kind, just what can be done? They get mad because help is there, than their health even gets worse? As far as "judging" her, her niece was doing it as well as any other member of her family. Believe it or not, Beth, my wife's sister told us that the niece has been getting calls about the lady's Will. She had quite a bit of money and, what is left of family, wants to know if they are getting any. I know, Beth, thinking about money, not her passing...........pretty ridiculous, but it definitely happens.
It's sad, but there are those, with very serious heath problems, that will refuse things they shouldn't refuse. Sort of like the old saying, "you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink."
YOU have not been in that woman's place so YOU have no idea what went on except for what someone told you. People often embellish a story to gloss over their own bad behavior or lack of compassion. Since my diagnosis, I have found out who my true friends are, and who are not worth knowing. Sounds like the "very close friend of your wife's sister" found out the same. With friends like that, who needs enemies.