Forum Relationships, Truly Having Online Friends & The Opposite?

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Denise Evans, Mar 24, 2016.

  1. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Supreme Member
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    "plus it is run by @Ken Anderson who is available, fair minded and has integrity."

    I may be out of place saying this, but here goes, anyway. I had heard that many complaints had been lodged against me (unbeknownst to me, of course, until Mod told me). I thought, well, this is supposed to be an open discussion, so I started a thread inquiring about "airing" common gripes, commonly, together. That post disappeared almost immediately. Upon privately asking the Admin via email about this, his response was a very agitated surprise to me, as though speaking to one another "man to man" was a concept of unusual depravity, to him. Within the hour, I was "scratched", leaving me scratching my head.

    Now you know the "rest of the story".

    Frank
     
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  2. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    All I have to say is that even they declared an amnesty and everyone banned could return....I wouldn't.

    Before I found this forum, I might have but not anymore. Especially the way it's going now.
     
    #47
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  3. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Supreme Member
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    I've admittedly snooped a few times, not in the past week or so. Looked much as before, from an outsider's view, but hard to evaluate. I feel better now! (so watch out!) Frank
     
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  4. Denise Evans

    Denise Evans Supreme Member
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    I just think there are nice folks everywhere, but, like I mentioned before, most of the people I like are here now, so no reason to go to the other. I do look because I am curious as to the numbers. They have the SEO goin on evidently (search engine optimization). That is basically a "time" thing. And whatever draws the google ratings. I don't understand it all. I do know, the more people that are joining, or even those that don't join, but prefer reading, attracts "google" ratings.

    We are kind of like a spot off the freeway, the more cars we see, the more likely we are to stop and have a bite. On the www, a site gets on the first page of a google/yahoo/bing search, and sometimes, if they are real good at SEO, they get to the number 1 spot. So if you are searching for a senior forum, you type in some search terms. If you get a page-full of links, which are you going to select? For me, it's almost always the first, at the top of the pile;)

    So what do people type in? I would type in Senior forums to find a "senior forum" right? So if we are lucky enough to just type in senior or seniors, we might get this site. It's also hard to get the best names. Sometimes "the big guns" buy up several names, like dating.com for example. Then you have to buy that site from them. They own thousands of names or .coms. I think that sucks but that's life. Other times, if you are a webmaster/owner, you may get a unique name that no one has bought yet, like like seniorsriot. I almost started a site at one time. So that would have been a .com I wouldn't have to purchase from someone else. I just have to pay for a site, from like Hostgator or someone. Anyway, it goes on and on;)
     
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  5. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    I read and only takes a few minutes to skim through a days worth of posts. It's predictable, someone says something then the clique pounces one by one....too funny and kind of pathetic.

    You already know what they will say. :)
     
    #50
  6. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
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    What I've noticed lately though Denise is that we usually have more members online and posting. They have more guests still. Sometimes they have a little more online but when I look through the names, most never say a word.

    Only a handful of posters that really post every day....and this is a site that used to have sometimes 800 guests and at least 30+ on regularly.
     
    #51
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2016
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  7. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Supreme Member
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    @Denise Happyfeet : You surely know a lot more about this stuff than I! I envy you your knowledge. Frank
     
    #52
  8. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    I have managed and participated in online forums since my BBS days, when I carried several BBS forums that were picked up by Bulletin Board Systems all over the English-speaking world. There are several people who I feel as if I have known very well for thirty years or more now, yet we've never met. This includes a couple of people who were involved in one or more of the BBS forums that I participated in, as well as those whom I got to know in the internal forums of one or more of the web directories I've worked with, mostly DMOZ. Many of them are my Facebook friends as well, and this includes a few people who I've seldom agreed with, and at least a couple whom I have engaged in heated battles with over different issues at DMOZ. After a while, it's sort of like people who live in the same small town as you do. You might not particularly like them, but you say hello when you meet in the store, and if you come across them in another town, you feel as if you have a bond of sorts.

    I met my wife in the DMOZ forums and knew her for six years before we ever met. Our virtual relationship proved to be so genuine that we were married within a month of meeting one another in person, and our seventeenth wedding anniversary will be in August.

    I think that in order to develop a genuine virtual relationship you have to be honest to a large degree. That doesn't mean that you necessarily need to give people sensitive information that could be used to hurt you, or to track you down, if you're afraid of that sort of thing, but some people enjoy playing roles while they're online, pretending to be someone not at all like who they really area, and I don't know whether I would term a relationship based on lies to be a genuine relationship.

    I've never been particularly cautious about my online presence, and I've never been bitten by it either. From the information I've given you on this forum alone, you could probably write my biography and deliver it to me in person. Probably the nearest thing I have had to an uncomfortable feeling about things that I have said online was one day when someone who I was in an argument with on a BBS network called my employer, while I was working for the City of Los Fresnos, Texas. The town manager passed the call on to me, saying that he thinks there is a crazy person on line 2 for me. That was slightly embarrassing, but that was about it.

    I have found jobs through people I have met only online. In fact, for the past eighteen years, my wife and I both have been working for someone in Canada whom we've never met, and we were hired by another person whom we'd never met.

    As for this forum, you guys are great. I considered it for a long time before I decided to include the Hot Button Issues category because I have very much wanted to avoid quarreling of the sort where I might have to make decisions, but I decided that these are issues that some of us, including myself, might want to discuss, and my hope continues to be that we could learn to appreciate even those with whom we might disagree.

    So yes, I think it is quite possible to develop true relationships online. They are not the same as those that are developed off-line perhaps, but that doesn't negate the importance that might have in our lives.
     
    #53
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2016
  9. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Supreme Member
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    @Ken Anderson : Am very new here. You cannot yet "know" me. But, I must say that, based on your writings, I respect your positions, envy your abilities, accept your decisions, and disagree in some respects. Had I publicly stated this on my previous forum endeavor, I would have been promptly eliminated. This tells me that forums are not all forums, are not all forums, IOW, the human element of ego, if present to deep degree amongst forum Management, prevents real and realistic evaluation of content, leaving open the spectre of unjust evaluation of members.

    Stated otherwise, I personally find this one encompassingly gratifying. Frank
     
    #54
  10. Karen McKenzie

    Karen McKenzie Veteran Member
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    I agree that forums are just full of regular people. I think compared to a lot of you I'm still very new to the forum world..like 6 months or so. @Sifu Phil Bonifonte i agree about with your angel and demon theory..lol..but I don't underestimate that maybe I might say something in a way that might rankle someone else...but if you worry too much you won't say anything..lol.

    It appears to me that some personalities don't play as well with others..just like real life..lol. I have been in real life writing and music groups and it's amazing how much grease one squeaky wheel needs..and it can suck the life out of the group.

    I honestly have to say I'm astounded at the number of people here who were banned from that anonymous forum and wonder who is lodging all the complaints. I am glad Ken does actually post on the forum here. It helps me understand his perspective as an admin. I DO like hearing everyone's ideas and POV. I also want to say I do still like a lot of folks on the "other" forum very much.

    @Chrissy Page about "amnesty " on the other forum. That idea made me laugh...sounds like you're all ex-cons. I'll be honest..I think this is a good learning experience. Many of you have been doing the forum thing for years and I appreciate your honesty and wisdom.
     
    #55
  11. Sifu Phil Bonifonte

    Sifu Phil Bonifonte Veteran Member
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    Ex-cons :D

    "We doin' HARD time!"

    As one of my favorite shows always said,

    "Questions are a burden to others; answers, a prison unto themselves".
     
    #56
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  12. Sifu Phil Bonifonte

    Sifu Phil Bonifonte Veteran Member
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    And writing groups ... not trying to take anything from you, but for me they were always a waste of time. My time was so much better served simply by writing.
     
    #57
  13. Karen McKenzie

    Karen McKenzie Veteran Member
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    Well, I gotta be honest...I loved my writing group. Everyone was published and the material was vastly different. It was just once a month but we had good food and spent 4-5 hours..or more sometimes just reading bits of work, sharing ideas..getting feedback, networking. Phil, I agree though that endless discussion of writing is boring..lol. Easier just to write :). I have avoided online writing groups though. I think it's better I don't elaborate as to why..because if someone likes them I'm raining on their parade. :)
     
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  14. Sifu Phil Bonifonte

    Sifu Phil Bonifonte Veteran Member
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    Meh, I'm not averse to being a rain-maker ...

    Most online writing groups I've investigated are a lot like forums - there are a handful of people that dominate and the rest either meekly go along or they leave.

    I've always thought (and I may be wrong, but I doubt it!) that writing is a solitary craft. Most of the time, writing groups are just a way to avoid writing, to mark time. I don't blame them - the idea of being a writer is steeped in romance and mystery, but the actuality?

    Hard work. No one holding your hand. Rejection. Insane hours.

    You can't get that in groups ...
     
    #59
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  15. Karen McKenzie

    Karen McKenzie Veteran Member
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    Writing is a solitary thing..and I think there are people who talk about writing and people who write...lol. I think writing about writing is not helpful to me..or a forum on it..no thanks.. I agree with you yet again..amazing! Hey if I want to waste time..I have bigger guns than a writing forum..Netflix for one.. :)
     
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