As a child I was full of questions and wonderings. But, I never looked to adults for answers, mainly because I felt invisible to them. I got most of my answers from books. As my children grew up, I always tried to give them answers they could understand. If I didn't know the answer, I would tell them to write their question down, and off to the library I would go. My favorite place was the library, so going once or twice a week was no hassel for me.
My father encouraged me to read books and he bought a set of leather bound Encyclopedia Britannica and a set of children's encyclopedias and was delighted that my sister and I used both of them to find things out for ourselves. I also went to the library from an early age. After using the children's library for several years, I can remember the joy of being old enough to join the adults library and having access to so many more books.
Ruth that was a wonderful gift your father decided to give to you and your sister. As I remember, those encyclopedias were pretty pricy. I loved to read that kind of literature as child, and at each library I joined, they soon recognised me as a serious study hound. In today's time, it seem the children don't know where to look for guidance. They have so many different medias pounding at them that they can't see what is good or bad. I wouldn't want to be a child in today's setting.
I'd have to say both. Although my mother died when I was thirteen, I remember her well, although there are days when I have trouble picturing what she looked like, and that troubles me. She enjoyed reading and, whether it was really good or not, I don't know, but she had a way of appreciating anything that I had written, which was encouraging. While growing up, she seldom left the house except to hang laundry on the line or garden. She didn't drive so shopping was a family affair. Early one summer, she asked me if I wanted to go pick flowers with her. I was very surprised to know that she knew her way around the woods very well, having lived there for much of her own childhood. She sure knew where to find the wildflowers. My dad coached Little League and was the scout leader for our Boy Scout troop. Although there were times when we had to work, we weren't kept working nearly as much as a couple of my cousins were. My friends, who were mostly cousins, liked coming over the house, and it was impressive to see how well liked he was by everyone at the Boy Scout camp. He farmed several forties, worked full-time at a ship building company, and did logging and horse-shoeing on the side. He bought colts at horse sales and would raise them for sale, although for every few that he bought, he ended up keeping one, so we had twenty-one horses at one time.
Ken, It sounds as if you had the childhood many of us only wished for. As a child I use to read of families like your's, and I admit, I thought they were fairy tales. I guess that is why I spent so much time teaching my family how to enjoy each other, and the world around them. When the kids were young, we didn't have much money, but there were so many activities that took no or little money to enjoy. We spent a lot of time on the coastal beaches, or on the San Jacinto river. We even spent several years building a 30x30 two story tree house out of driftwood we found washed up on beaches and riverbanks. I was a Cub Scout den mother. As a child I never wanted children, but it was one of my greatest rewards as an adult. My family is gone now, but I have the comforting knowledge that they learned to enjoy being alive in all their efforts.
I was very lucky. Actually, I had no idea that other kids didn't have parents like mine until I was grown up, and heard some of the stories people had about growing up. My parents were in their 40's before I was born, and had lived through the Great Depression and the Second World War first. They realized that if they didn't have a child, they probably wouldn't be able to have one, and I was an only child who was dearly loved by both of my parents. We weren't rich by any means, but we had what we needed to live on, and enjoyed camping and fishing in the summer when the weather permitted. I probably spent more time with my mother, and I know that i am very much like her; however, in the summertime, I often rode along with my dad in the line truck, and I totally loved spending the day with my dad. I learned a lot from both of them, and the main thing I remember my mom always stressing was to "BE CAREFUL !" So, I grew up not ever learning to be a risk-taker, which in some ways has been a good thing, and sometimes not so good. From my dad, I learned his favorite saying, which was "What is the use of life if you can't enjoy it a little bit?" He was a hard worker, but never complained, and seemed to always be happy, or at least content in his life. He loved my mother more than anything in the world, and from the both of them, I learned committment and respect of another person's thoughts and needs. We all pitched in together, and worked to get things done, like making dinner and washing dishes, and I rarely remember my parents even arguing with each other. If they had disagreeances, they either talked them out quietly, or settled it when I was not around.
I was blessed unlike a great percentage of young people today to have both parents available to me. However, I usually went to my mother (and still do even to this day) because dad worked overnights and was not at home. I still have both of my parents with me but dad is only with us physically as he is battling Alzheimers. I rebelled against much of what I was taught as a youngster but now that I am mature, I am thankful for the things I was taught by my parents and they now make sense!
My dad was the one that I would turn to if I wanted a yes, since my mom was far more likely to say no to something. Once, I had asked if I could spend the weekend, with my cousins, in a shack that we'd built in the woods. Dad said I could, then they got into an argument because there were tornado warnings. Dad said there are always tornado warnings in the summer, and that couldn't be stuck in the house all summer, and the chances of a tornado hitting the house were even greater than that it would hit our shack in the woods. I felt bad about the argument but had a good weekend, and no tornado came near us.
I grew up in a single parent home. My mom was not the type to be very caring so I had to do more or less for my self or a close neightbor that was very helpful as I was growing up.
When I was growing up it was my mother I would always turn to. That's not to say my father was a bad man he was a bit of a strict disciplanarian though who did have a temper but he did love his kids none the less. I think the reason I went to my mother why the majority of my siblings did is because she was the kind of person someone could go to for guidance or the just feel better. Somehow just talking to her would make things seem not so bad any longer. I still miss her presense in my life and she will be gone for ten years this July, that's how great a part of my life she was.
Growing up, my father had his own business, so he was rarely home, working 12-16 hours a day. My mom was not the greatest, and I learned from an early age that she wasn't really a "go to" person for me. Like @Ina I. Wonder, I turned to books. We did have a nice "library" of encyclopedias, we had both World Book and Encyclopedia Britannica. If those didn't answer my questions, I would go to the library. My elementary school had a really good one, and I was a "library helper", so I knew the librarian quite well. She would point me in the right direction. Once I got older, in my teens, we moved and I really didn't have anyone to turn to - which is such a shame, because that's when you really need your parents, or other responsible adults, the most. I muddled through though, and made it out of my teens in one piece, more or less.
I was closer to my father than to my mother. Maybe because I was the youngest so he dotes on me. For my part, I always respected him and I tried my best to please him especially in my studies. When I got a job, he was so glad. With my mother, she's always out of the house so we were not that close even if she used to pick me up from school. Maybe there was a gap between me and my mother because my mother's f avorite is my older sister. When we had our own families, my mother's byword is my sister and her husband. My mother is very proud that my sister is a nurse and her husband is a doctor. I am not jealous of that. And when my mother got sick, they all came to me for financial support.
I was very close to both of my parents. They were always there for me no matter what kind of mess I got myself into. I had an awesome childhood and so many fantastic memories. In their later years we did a lot of traveling together. It was so much fun. My Dad passed away in his sleep in 2000. He was sixty-eight. I was completely devastated. I lost my Mom last year and my whole world fell apart. Not a day goes by that I don't think of them. I miss them both so much. Life sure is different without them.
Although I didn't have a caring relationship with either of my parents, I was given time with both of my grandmothers. When I was eight, I spent a summer with my Greman grandmother, who by the way spoke no English, and it was the best summer of my life. She taught a sad little girl to laugh, and to see the beauty to be seen around her. I didn't meet my American Indian grandmother until my adult years, but she too had a great part in making me who I am today. She taught me how to look within myself, and hear what my inner voice is saying. She taught me that spirit is more important than material objects.
My parents were always there for me for whatever I wanted to ask or to know. Sometime they did not have the answers, but they always tried their best, but what I liked the most was asking them to tell me about their childhood and youth days, something that usually happened on rainy days, when power blackouts were common at the place we lived. How much I enjoyed to listen to their memories, talking at the dinning room table with the candlelight and noisy raindrops falling down! However my parents disliked the idea of having me attending libraries or meeting with other kids to study, so that they bought for me as many books and encyclopedias as I needed through my whole student life in order to prevent any of those two situations. You may not believe this, but I have only visited a public library once in life, and this visit was when I started to work, just out of curiosity to learn how a library is and how to borrow a book. My father passed away several years back, but my mother is still much the same she was in past time, but while my five-years-younger sister says that nowadays we can do what we were not allowed in childhood/youth days even if our mother try to make use of her sentimental blackmailing abilities, the true fact is that I don't feel attracted to visit libraries today, when I have the whole world wide web at my fingertips.