Have you ever done anything covertly, quietly, clandestinely maybe, to avoid your spouse's being aware of it? Maybe more than once? Maybe daily? I have. But will not divulge more, unless I hear more. Think, it could be Internet connected, some flirty thing she/he ought not be aware of, might cause stress, surely I ask not that anyone admit to illegal activity, just something which, er......stirs discord. Are ya willing to tell? Frank
Not me. I tell my wife pretty much, actually everything, I do. I really give her no reason to wonder about anything I do. I tell her about all the ladies I reply to on this forum and she knows about the single ladies I talk to when I see them walking their dog in our complex. She has met these ladies in our complex. She knows I'm just a "friendly" dude, but definitely not "over-friendly". Nope, no way. I love my wife wayyyyyyyyyy to much!!
Never quite understood the whole "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" mentality that seems to grip some people when they get a few miles from home. If I wouldn't feel comfortable telling everyone back home (or anywhere else), then it kinda seems like a big clue... not to do it. That doesn't mean I haven't done some stupid stuff. If I had a dime for every stupid thing I have done, I could retire. I'm retired.
My conscience may not be completely clear but that's as far as I'm going. See no evil, hear no evil, do very little.
What first comes to mind for me was an action that started when I was around twenty-one. For some reason I’ve always had a good understanding of, and the ability to make money. Not so much my husbands. I was also hyperactive, so working hard long hours was just up my alley. I also had a step-father that was always looking out for me. He was a Texas Ranger, and I knew his knowledge of the world was far greater than mine. He was very concerned with the domestic abuse that he and the other Troopers were encountering back in the early ‘70’s. At that point I was making at least twice what my husband was, which was gained from some very hard physical labor. My stepfather told me that I needed to start a bank account of my own. He explained to me that men and women were going through a power struggle, because society was changing. He gave tuns of examples of how relationship abuse was growing and why. End the end, I opened my first bank account, and yes there was a big stink made. I then continue to take care my own finances, and I kept the details to myself. Only then did we start to get ahead. I didn’t have to deal with anymore overdrafts, nor did I have to compensate for the unexpected cost of a set of new tires or a neat upgraded transmission. Michael had had his bank account since he got out of the Marines, and I had never been on it. Keeping my finances to myself kept my husband from buying all the thing we really didn’t need.
Like Ina, I have a few bucks socked away....they are in with my socks And not much, just emergency cash. Here is my secret, hubby would not buy new underwear, an embarrassement going to the doctor as they badly needed replacing. But he kept insisting he would not buy new until he lost weight. He knew darn well he needed size 40 rather than his stretched to the limit 38. So I set my plan in motion by commenting several times that it looked as if he had lost a few pounds, power of suggestion. He fell for it, actually caught him looking in a full length mirror....tummy sucked in of course. The plan was working so I bought the size 40, took out the tags as he does not like tags on any clothing and he thinks he is still wearing size 38 cause I told him so.
Well since you started this topic...I think you should be willing to tell @Frank Sanoica. Once, when my husband was drunk...I poured out the rest of his beers while he was sitting out on the porch and when he came in for another one and asked what happened to his beer...I told him he drank them all! He took my word for it and that was the end of that drunk!
It's been a long time since I had to do that with my husband too Gloria...and I'm very thankful for that.