Very true, Bobby. I wasn't an introvert in high school, I was just plain skinny and had a very short haircut that showed off my ears......and I didn't have small ears. I don't know when the mother of this young boy found out that he was gay, but she should have definitely talked to him about his physical actions that drew the "bullying". Then again, there are boys in school that are "computer nerds" that get teased/bullied often, because they aren't as masculine as other boys.
Young boys and girls can't get tattoos, but the once they leave home for college or military service, a lot of them want them. Guess getting tattoos is one way to say "hey, mess with me and...……." Most folks don't want to mess with folks that have tattoos. Perhaps we should lower the age limit for getting them and let the young boys and girls that get "bullied" get them? I don't know. What I do know is, some of the dudes that were in my high school graduation class of 1968, I would've NEVER messed with. Yes, they were that "bada--" looking! Obviously, no tattoos, but their personality sure could say "bada--".
I'm not going to go into it...but @Bobby Cole 's story is almost identical to mine...yes me a girl, would get the same belt waiting for me if I didn't beat the bully... so I learned, I learned fast.... Also an introvert like you Bobby... , in my case due to having a dysfunctional and violent upbringing, being shunted from one foster home to another and back again to the family.. etc... By the time I got to senior school, I was a target for the bullies..small and timid......so if I didn't want another beating when I got home..in fact if I wanted ''praise''...I had to learn to fight...and boy did I learn. I fought them all..big tough girls, big tough Boys... oh yes, I took them all on if they tried it with me, and I never lost!!...except to my father who continued to beat me up until the day I left home.. Nothing to brag about but it was self preservation .. soon no-one touched me..those gangs of bully girls gave me a big swerve..I became the protector of the weaker ones.. however, it left me with Huge anger issues which left it's deep mark on me to this day...although I don't get physical or scream and shout ( I never was a loud person shouting or screaming ) any more...the years of having to fight for my own safety has left a deep emotional scar!!..
Thing is, back then, when we were in high school, a bullied student could physically fight back at a bully, but today I think the law protects the bully in a fight as well. So, if a bullied person does fight back, they could get into as much, if not more, trouble than the bully themselves. I got into no trouble at all for popping Jeff in the eye with my fist, but today would be very different. Even with what Tex Dennis did, today that could be an "assault" charge, possible arrest and a lawsuit.
So........what is the solution? Should kids be taught the “sticks and stones” and the “turn the other cheek” narratives and continually cow-tow to an oppressor or learn to stand up for what is right? It is well known that I am a staunch Bible pounder but there are times when turning the other cheek simply isn’t practical. Sometimes we have to love our enemies with a little love tap just to get their attention! Kids who are taught to hide when things get tough will eventually be adults who hide when it really counts. Historically, those who stood against all odds to promote what is truly right are the ones who are remembered. Some lived long and healthy lives whilst others were placed in prison and still others were killed but still, they fought the GOOD fight. It only took a small boy with a single stone to stop a giant who was fully armed. Moreover, the kid had 4 more stones in case the bully’s family wished to step in! Failure to put the giant in his place (dead) would have meant that an entire nation would have been enslaved.
Believe me, Bobby, I totally understand what you are saying here. But, if the "bully" gets hurt, law enforcement could definitely be called and what follows might not be so good for the person who was getting bullied. I don't know what the answer is, but many parents today don't want to teach their kids how to "fight back", no matter what the problem is. The parents that do teach their kids to fight back are generally tough parents in the beginning that don't take crap from anyone. Like it or not, bullies today can be protected by the law also. I just don't know, Bobby.
The bullied kid should not have to be the only one to learn to adapt. How about....teach your kids not to bully others, or be cheerleaders for bullying behavior, or get involved in herd mentality activities?
All I can think of to say to this is...…..nice, but very "wishful thinking". There are parents out there that shove around their kids, which could be call "bullying" or over-discipling and their kids learn from that. Parents out there don't see things they like, or approve of, and that disapproval is installed into their kids. Grandparents can do the same thing, even without the parents knowing about it. Lots of people think the solution is "parents talking with their kids", but there are parents out there that talk to their kids in the WRONG way.
I had a colleague who, whenever anyone said something sounded like a good solution but it wouldn't work, his reply was always, "One thing for sure, it won't work if you don't try it." If one expects 100% solution to a problem, of course few things will work. I don't think it ever even occurred to my parents to teach me not to bully someone, because bullying did not seem to be a big thing back then, although I'm sure it was around. Probably more among young boys. They had already taught me many other good things, which combined had the same result. There is some thought now, that if there weren't folks cheerleading and admiring bullying behavior, often behind the scenes, there would be far fewer bullies. It's good there is more awareness of the problem today. I applaud the First Lady's Be Best initiative, concerning internet bullying.
We are all nice people on this forum, but there are "not so nice" parents and grandparents out there. So, bottom line is...…...where do kids learn this "bullying" from???? The way they are treated at home, perhaps? Many kids that are "bullied", don't fight back, because fighting isn't in their personality. The ones that bully, fighting is in their personality from kid age and up and seeing another kid that is different, and the key word is "different" from the them, brings on the bullying.
I think that we need to teach kids to get involved when they see others being bullied and stand up as a group to protect each other from bullies. I also believe in teaching kids to defend themselves as a way of helping build confidence and self-esteem. If all else fails, give the bully a good sound pop on the nose and accept the consequences.
Given my background as a child..I decided that my own daughter would never suffer at the hands of bullies so at a very young age I sent her to Martial arts classes, ju jitsu first, and then she took up more and continued training right up until her 20's particularly with kick boxing of which she was extremely adept.. ..ultimately becoming a judge in the art of MMA and Kick boxing matches all over the world..
From what I understand, even a kid, if he is experienced enough in Martial Arts, can get into trouble for using it on a bully. Martial Arts can turn deadly, if used in certain ways...…...or, at the very least, harm a person's body, which would probably be taken as a criminal offense. Unfortunately, in todays society, bullying can take place at school or basically anywhere. If the person being bullied, attacks the person or persons doing the bullying...……...well, there goes the legal thing again, as well as law enforcement getting involved. Is there an answer to this problem? I really wish there was, but there seems not to be.
When you're taught Martial arts professionally, it's as a defensive sport, not an attacking one.. . My daughter know how to disable a person in seconds, without causing them serious harm... but enough to prevent them from causing more harm to anyone else ..