Thanks for a suggestion, but, Uh, sorry to tell you, but my late husband soaked his dentures in bleach water, and his breath smelled like Clorox. Ugh. Never!
Yes, Patsy, you are right. I have been settling for second best. I have already joined 3 social groups, so hopefully I will meet some people I can just hang out with. I've been in them all for several months, but so far have not met any "best friends" , neither male nor female.
I posted a Reply but it didn't show up. I will try again.....I'm pretty sure that not all states (in USA) have common property laws. I know that when I got my divorce nearly 30 years ago now, my state did not have common property laws.
There’s something missing in the whole scenario. If it’s just the dental thing, it’s easy to beat if you know why he doesn’t want to have it done. If it’s the prevailing reason that most people have, it’s fear. Make an appointment for a consultation with a good, friendly and hopefully female dentist. Why female? Men naturally imagine that women are going to be more gentle and less painful whilst he is sitting in the dentists chair. It’s bogus, but that’s just the way we’re wired. The missing thing? Again, if and when he does get his teeth cleaned, what then? If he’s given you other reasons for the split, so be it but if you’re focusing on a singular item as a rationalization for the split, it’s all on you. You haven’t said if he’s a jerk or lousy in the bedroom or spends all of his money in strip bars but merely that his dental habits are a phobia of yours so bang, he’s out. But if that’s the case, he should have been kicked to the curb 7 years ago. (unless of course you’re of the ancient Jewish persuasion and he’s some sort of slave and you have to give him his freedom after 7 years of service. Just kidding.....) What I’m driving at is that it sounds like you’re simply not happy any longer with the relationship so in my book say adieu and go your merry way doing whatever it is you wish to do with the rest of your life. Simply staying in a relationship because one fears being lonely is kinda like staying married because of the kids. Somebody is going to be miserable. But, on the other hand, if it’s worth saving, then solve the problem and go from there.
No need to be 'lonely' is there So many outlets out there now to bring people together Kitty hinted at being a musician I think - so why not join a rock choir - they are a big thing over here and have changed so many lives for the better
Kitty--your replies posted inside the "quote" that you responded to. Make sure that you type beyond the last quote bracket for your response to display correctly.
Kitty--only you know whether the relationship is worth it to you. Most couples who've been together for a while have quirks that annoy one another. If you enjoy his company otherwise, buy him a pack of breath mints and try to focus on enjoying your time together. By this time of our lives, patterns are pretty much set... so if this will continue to be a point of contention for you it might be time to move on. Good luck.
There are a number of other good reasons I want to break up with my partner. I broke up with him a few hours ago. It's going to be tough for both of us, because neither of us has any other close friends. Part of my friends problem is that I don't have a car, and rely on public transit. I'm in a large dance class once a week, which is mostly women. I only started a couple of weeks ago, but I'm going to investigate the area around the class and see if there are any coffee shops or coffeehouses where I could suggest to someone that we meet after class. I'm also in a Women's MeetUp group and another Women's Circle, but so far I have not gotten to know any of the women well.
@Kitty Dee Good thinking on your part, IMO, but let's keep in mind it's a male opinion, sooo......... I believe seeking lady friends is a good idea, again IMO.......... I, too, am 76, and envy anyone my age who can dance! I'm glad to still be able to walk, but realize always things could be far worse. "A few hours ago!" I couldn't talk or think straight for several days! Was young, sorrowful, full of pain. Everybody MUST get over it! Frank
It can be really tough when someone is with someone that doesn't take care of themselves as much as one thinks they should. My last supervisor/director had very small teeth and it didn't look like he brushed them at all. Apparently he did use something for his breath, because I never once smelled bad-breath on him. Some folks, with small teeth, brushing them can make their gums bleed. Wife and I brush our teeth daily as well as use mouthwash. Both of us have a couple of bad teeth, but not really, really bad. It would cost us a fortune to have our teeth taken care of by a dentist, and right now, we simply can't afford that. I never get my teeth clean by a dentist, but, as already stated, do brush daily and mouthwash. However, my wife goes to her dentist next week for a regular cleaning. We know the dentist will highly recommend dental work done on her, but that just isn't going to happen. A regular cleaning only.