Joke Of The Day

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Craig Wilson, May 20, 2019.

  1. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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  2. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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  4. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
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    That is so difficult to read that I passed it.
     
    #184
    Yvonne Smith and Bobby Cole like this.
  5. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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    Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.

    One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, “Now don’t get mad at me. I know we’ve been friends for a long time, but I just can’t think of your name. I’ve thought and thought, but I can’t remember it. Please tell me what your name is.”

    Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her. Finally, she said, “How soon do you need to know?


    Better AL?
     
    #185
  6. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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    Three guys died together in a terrible accident. Fortunately, they went to heaven.

    St. Peter says, “We only have one rule here: Don’t step on the ducks, as they are God’s favorite creation.”

    They enter heaven and see ducks everywhere, and it’s almost impossible not to step on a duck. The first guy accidentally steps on one, and soon here comes St. Peter with the ugliest woman you’ve ever seen. St. Peter chains them together and says, “Your punishment is to be chained to this ugly woman forever.”

    The next day the second guy steps on a duck, and sure enough, St. Peter comes with another real ugly woman and chains them together.

    Seeing this, the third guy is very, very careful. He goes for months and doesn’t step on any ducks. Then one day, St. Peter comes along with this beautiful woman, a blue-eyed blonde, very young and very sexy. He chains them together and leaves without saying a word.

    The man remarks, “Wow! This is great! I wonder what I did to deserve this?”

    The Blonde says, “I don’t know about you, but I just stepped on a duck.”
     
    #186
    Bobby Cole and Lois Winters like this.
  7. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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  8. Micki Pembroke

    Micki Pembroke Veteran Member
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  10. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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    An elderly couple had dinner at another couple’s house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two elderly gentlemen were talking, and one said, “Last night we went out to a new restaurant, and it was great. I would recommend it very highly.”

    The other man said, “What is the name of the restaurant?”

    The first man thought and thought and finally said, “What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know… the one that is red and has thorns.”

    “Do you mean a rose?”

    “Yes,” the man said. He turned toward the kitchen and yelled, “Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant we went to last night?”
     
    #190
  11. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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  15. Craig Wilson

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    At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall. “Big breaths,” I instructed. “Yes, they used to be,” expressed the patient.
     
    #195

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