He is OCD. I am too, but in different ways. I'd love to understand him. Talking to the few friends I have has helped some. I'd love to expand my horizons and get to know other seniors. This is one little thing. I'm cooking my own egg and he says, "why does it take you 12 minutes to cook an egg?". 1. I'm shocked he timed me. Really?!? 2. What does he care. He's not waiting for the stove or me or for an egg for him. You'd probably ask, why not just ask him. Makes sense. It's hard to get a straight answer out of him. Writing this it seems silly, but maybe it can open a door.....
@Cyndi Kaye Welcome to "the place" (where any laundry may be washed!). Your post is intriguing for me, as I had a brother in law who was worse; much worse. Wrong time to air that now. Enjoy meeting our folks here: your horizons await, believe me! Frank
Welcome to the forum, @Cyndi Kaye ! I don’t know much about dealing with OCD people (my husband is just the opposite and so am I), but I think that this is an interesting question, and probably some of the people here will be able to give you some good opinions, and maybe something you can use to understand your husband’s thought processes better, and how to not be affected so much by what he says. I am an Idaho transplant living in Alabama, and we have people here from all over the US and several other countries, and we are by and large, a pretty friendly group of people. I am a greeter here, so if I can help you with anything, just message me. I can’t fix the sideways avatar, but @Ken Anderson can do that for you as soon as he has a chance to turn it right side up.
Hello Cyndi Kaye and welcome. I don't have any insight on your partner's actions; I suppose I gave up trying to figure people out years ago. You don't indicate whether you are unhappy in the situation, but if not then just accept him. On the other hand, time's too short to waste being unhappy.
Welcome to the forum Cyndi! I might as well let the cat out of the bag so to speak. @Ken Anderson, the administrator of the SoC, does suffer from OCD. (well, I don’t think he “suffers” from it). “There’s a place for everything and everything in its place” and everything has to be in even groups as you can see from the way the topics are arranged. Whilst I do not think he’ll ask how long it takes to cook your eggs, he may ask how many you cook at a time. Alas, do not worry though because he’s a pretty cool guy and this is a pretty cool forum so enjoy your stay. May it be like a resort of sorts wherein you check in but never wish to check out.
Hi @Cyndi Kaye I understand a little about OCD but I pulled this short description on a Google search. About the Four Kinds of OCD Four Types of OCD. Contamination & Washing. ... Doubt About Accidental Harm & Checking. ... Just Right OCD: Symmetry, Arranging, & Counting. ... Unacceptable Taboo Thoughts & Mental Rituals. I've met the first three when I worked at a local hospital not all at once though. They each shared their condition openly so we (other co-workers) were aware. Your partner seems to be a counter. I often wondered if I could live with OCD and how would I handle it. I guess to what degree the OCD would be for one. With regard to your example, I would be more curious and respond with the question, "How long would it take you to cook an egg?' to get a conversation started. On a lighter side, I recall a movie where an elf, I think, could be distracted if you threw say a container of beans on the floor and the elf wouldn't budge until he counted every one of them.
Hmm, another acronym. I looked briefly at Google and now I know less than before I looked. But it seems to be an obsession with one thing or another. Counting was mentioned. Solution? I don't have any, other than brief time apart, kind of like a "hard restart".
Even the mentally healthiest people can have periods, brief or not, of being OCD. Whenever I make the effort to clean my house I go a little overboard with details and feel quite OCD. And no, I'm not saying I'm one of those mentally healthy people. LOL. I'm neurotic as all get-out.
My journey to understanding other people always starts with understanding myself, and then understanding why I have those other people in my life. That doesn't mean I always make the best decisions, but at least I better understand why I do the things I do and why I have the relationships that I have...good, bad and indifferent.
I was just thinking how I would handle the egg-cooking incident. My usual M.O. is to advise Mr. G. that if he thinks he can do better, then I will go watch TV and he can cook the eggs. This works amazingly well.
I refer to myself all the time as anal and OCD. But true Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder in which a person feels the need to perform certain routines repeatedly (compulsions), or has certain thoughts repeatedly (obsessions.) The person is unable to control either the thoughts or activities for more than a short period of time. That's not me. I'm just very particular and fastidious about organization and having things be a certain way. I don't like clutter or mess or dirt. Thankfully Ron is the same way, one of the many reasons we get along so well. It sounds like your partner is curious? Lacking any other context I don't see any particular OCD trait in the question.