Patient: Doc, I can't stop singing "What's New, Pussycat" Doc: Sounds like you got Tom Jones Syndrome Patient: Is it common??? Doc: It's Not Unusual.
A Baldheaded man walks into a medical clinic with a live Frog perched on his head. The admissions nurse asks "May I help you?" The Frog says "Yes...I'd like to get this growth remove from my butt." Hal
Here's a heap I got sent from an old friend and some Aussie Leunig Cartoons: When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, identity theft is a crime. A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him, "How long have you suffered from that condition?" The guy tells him, "Since next Monday." What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast! What do you call a mac 'n' cheese that gets all up in your face? Too close for comfort food! Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired! Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere! Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe! What happens when you go to the bathroom in France? European. What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire! How many apples grow on a tree? All of them! Did you hear the rumor about butter? Well, I'm not going to spread it. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint! A cheese factory exploded in France. Da brie is everywhere! Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well! What do you call a factory that sells passable products? A satisfactory! Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? He couldn't see himself doing it! Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it! How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it. I'm starting a new dating service in Prague. It's called Czech-Mate. Attachments: Reply Quote Edit
These jokes sound like how the Covid vaxs are being rolled out in my Australia. Thank God we're a spaced out lucky country, not our savvy pollies for sure. That is the real joke.
I loved BC. Best cartoon ever. I had all of their books. Same goes for Wizard of Id (another Hart creation.)
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
My father used to tell this joke so it's his fault, not mine. English class. The teacher is introducing new vocabulary words. She says " Alright, class. Use these four words in a sentence. Defeat, detail, deduct and defense, " Little Johnny stands up and boldly says " De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."