Have You Left Things Unsaid To People You Care About?

Discussion in 'Philosophy & Psychology' started by Lon Tanner, Jul 8, 2021.

  1. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    I sure have.
     
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  2. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    Examples?
     
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  3. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
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    I regret that I missed the opportunity to talk to my mother more before she died. Unfortunately she didn't have as long as we anticipated so that opportunity was lost. I did get to tell my dad how much he meant to me before he died, though I suspect he knew it all along. Years before his death, I wrote him a little note and put it under his coffee cup; when he died at least 25 years later, that note was found in his wallet.

    I have made a more concerted attempt to reach out to friends and family since my cancer diagnosis. I no longer believe I have unlimited time, so I want them to know what they mean to me. My children have been so good through this whole thing, calling and texting, sending gifts and flowers, and generally letting me know that they are available if I should need anything. It's a great feeling and makes being sick a hell of a lot easier.
     
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  4. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    Not really sure, except wish I could have talked one last time to my one BF, who died last year in August.
     
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  5. Marci Miller

    Marci Miller Very Well-Known Member
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    No I don't believe so. I usually speak my mind and let people know how I feel about them or things they've done for me or whatever. I have left things unsaid for people I do not care about simply because it's not worth the effort. LOL
     
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  6. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Supreme Member
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    Probably in the past...but since being diagnosed with cancer...I've become much more aware of how important it is not to leave things unsaid.
     
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  7. Steve Pecos

    Steve Pecos Active Member
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    I talked to my youngest brother Jim fairly often in his final months, but not in the week prior to him dying alone and unexpectedly in his sleep. He was a very good person and I miss him. Not being able to travel out to Oregon from South Carolina and visit him because of COVID and my own prostrate cancer treatment doesn't make it any easier.
     
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  8. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Supreme Member
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    I'm sorry for your loss @Steve Pecos. But I hope you have peace in the fact that your brother was not alone in his passing... Jesus was with him.
     
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  9. Steve Pecos

    Steve Pecos Active Member
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    Thank you.
     
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  10. Mark Bayarsky

    Mark Bayarsky Well-Known Member
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    I have a sense of loss with both my parents gone. I did not find out my mother died until after the funeral and have regrets that I did not have a deep conversation with my father.
     
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  11. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    Were you estranged, @Mark Bayarsky or just lived far away?

    My philosophy: never miss a chance to tell a loved one that you love them. You may never get another chance. My daughter and I never hung up the phone or left each others company without saying I love you.
     
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  12. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
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    Last year, my kids lost their dad over the Fourth of July weekend , unexpectedly; so they didn’t really have a chance to say goodbye to him before he was gone.
    They are feeling that loss again right now, and my oldest son posted this beautiful song by Johnny Cash and Roseanne Cash on his facebook page. We just never know how much time we have to say goodbye and make peace with our loved ones, and I wanted to share this song here.

    Even though I knew when my folks were dying, and got to say goodbye, it seems like there are always things I wish we had talked about more.


     
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  13. James Hintze

    James Hintze Very Well-Known Member
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    My wife and I have spent the past 60 years together, married for 59. I'm 5 years older. So, most likely I'll go first. We're both healthy at present. I tell her frequently that as I look back on my life, and see a better than average one, both in accomplishments and happiness, and that she is a main part of that. We have 2 very VERY successful sons, whom I give that same message. After reading these posts I think I will tell them that if I should wake up dead one of these mornings, they should not feel bad about not having a last talk. They should consider our present conversations and what I tell them about my love for them.
     
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  14. Bruce Andrew

    Bruce Andrew Very Well-Known Member
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    My dad died in 2000, Mom in 2002. They were old-fashioned Christians and were strict, which I hated as a kid. But later on I realized that they were the most wonderful parents I could ever have. I never told them that, but I wish I had.

    I learned so much from them about handling money, as they were young adults during the Depression and things weren't easy for them. And they were very nice to everybody, and I think my dad was the fairest person I've ever known. Even when we were kids, he was always fair to us. I have never, and will never, measure up to him.

    Oh well, one thing I learned from their deaths is that you never know which is the last time you'll see someone.
     
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