Sorry to hear this, Ken. I come from a family of 6 children with a 16 year age span. There have been 4 deaths so far (both parents and 2 brothers) and I really only had a sense of loss with the younger brother (5 years my junior), who I became close to in our adult years. I guess our reactions to these things are nothing more (or less) than the measured compassion of an honest adult.
I also am sorry for the loss of your brother, and it is sad that the memories that you have of him are not happy ones. Even so, I am sure that you loved each other as family, or you would not have gone out of your way to try and help him, even when he was not appreciative of it. My mom always said that we should love each other as a person, and separate that from their actions, which is often hard to do. It looks to me like that is what you did, @Ken Anderson , in trying to help your brother when he needed help.
Whenever we got together we fought like heck, stupid stuff, I do not consider that a loss. If we had co-workers or friends like that we would not hang around them, family members are no different.
Sorry for the belated reply, Ken. I just saw your post. I need to warn you about a sneaky thing about grief. It is that it can hit you at any point when you don't expect it. You may not have had a good relationship with your brother recently but I can tell by your comment that you loved him. So sorry for your loss.
Sorry for your loss Ken My uncle was an alcoholic, he was bed ridden towards the end of his life yet he still drank in his bed. My auntie is to blame for supplying him. He died and not long after my auntie died. He died from alcohol related liver damage, my auntie died from diabetes related issues.