Groan

I woke up this morning coughing badly.
I think I may have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but it’s hard to say.

 

'Cold' is easy to say. Cold. See?

Using lung wurds disn't make u intelligrent.

 

Well, i hope you get to feeling better Mr.John West.

 

She asked me "So, you just have the one tattoo? Who is that supposed to be?"

"Hervé Villechaize.", I said. "It's a tattoo of Tattoo."

 

A French cheese factory exploded today.
Da Brie was everywhere.

 

Y'all got this goin' on!

 

Where are you getting this awful, awful stuff?
I think a Swiss cheese factory must have exploded, too. Look at all the holes in the product.

If you are making these jokes up yourself I'm glad you live in another state. You are slightly deranged.

 

Ain't nobody that deranged.

 

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium!

 

I had a bad dream about mufflers . . .
. . . And I woke up exhausted.

 

A survey of 1,000 restaurant goers found only 1 in 100 would ever order Steak Tartare.

Apparently, it's very rare.

 

How do you make a pirate furious? ...............................Take away the p.

 

That joke makes me ad.