Groan

Remember he visits me first being I am nearer the North Pole. Sorry about your bad luck!

 

I hope you gave her back two pennies.

 

You so mean. Can't you see I'm craving approval?

 

I read that the man in invented autocorrect just died.

May he roast in piss.

 

A hydrogen atom walks into a bar and tells the bartender "Can you help me? I've lost an electron." The bartender says, "Are you sure?" And the hydrogen atom says, "I'm positive!"

 

I still have a few jokes about unemployed people,.
but sadly none of them work

 

Members of the children's Sunday school class were told to write a bible verse. Little LeeRoy wrote, "Do one to others before they do one to you."

 

I type slower then my mind works, so i will quit for now and tell you what i forgot, if i remember what it was, if anything.
I just read this and im not sure what it says, even if i wrote it!! I thought i had Alzheimers I think, or so i thought.
Oh Well, All's well ,Oh Hell , there's the Bell..,Farewell..

 

For @Kate Ellery

What brand of toilet paper do Australians use?
Any brand they can get down under.

 

If you’re out in the bush it’s called Gum leaves but be carful …just incase it has bugs / spiders ️ on the back of leaves

 

Listen up! Alphabet spaghetti on toast is delicious
Spread the word!

 

I'm always yelling, "Damn you, Autocorrect, you piece of shut!'