You know you're old when: All the names in your little black book end in “M.D.” You need a fire permit to light your birthday candles & oxygen after blowing them out. The only whistles you get are from a teakettle. You feel like the morning after, but you haven’t gone anywhere. You look forward to a dull evening. You sit in a rocking chair & can’t get it going. Your knees buckle but your belt won’t. You sink your teeth into a sandwich & they stay there. You bend down to pick something off the floor & you ask yourself: “Is there anything else I need while I’m down here?”