Turned 68 myself last week. I don't fantasize about an altered past. If it could be accomplished I wouldn't be me anymore anyhow. I'm finding it hard enough to structure my present and set viable goals for even the next decade. My biggest challenge is other people, in particular a tendency to assume life now should be structured just like a life path in our 20s. Facing today means facing the presence of existing family, the economics of retired life, health issues and support needs, etc. Many of these interact, considering for example the impact of needs for housing and care and their impact on finances and resources.
I had noticed you were my age when I first saw your avatar. I don't fantasize about changing the past at all, but do compare it to now, to try not to make the same mistakes as the past. There are some things I would have liked to have changed, not so much as to change who I am though. Family is important to me, but after our parents passed, I didn't see siblings much anymore, everyone just seemed to divide up, after that. We all live mostly in different states, so that plays a part too. Lost two siblings since my parents passed.
He's a good actor, and always reminded me of a friend I had when I was 21 years old, he went into the Navy, and I never saw him again. Looks just like him back then.
Most of the parts that I would want to change in my life also had positive sides, if not for me, at least for other people in my life. I have been married three times, and there have been good and bad parts for all of them, and for the times in between. My second husband, I would be happy to have never met; but his two children were going through a really hard time in their lives and with their mother, and my being a step-mother to them actually helped them a whole lot back in their teenage years. They needed someone, and that person turned out to be me. So, even that relationship was worth it, when I look back at everything. I wish I had made more money, but I would not want to trade the years I spent raising my kids, to have more money in my SS pension. We had a lot of good times together when they were growing up and we did things as a family, and those memories are far more precious than gold. I wish I had traveled more, but the truth is, I have a wandering heart, and would have probably wished I had traveled more no matter how much I did. And I probably almost drove poor Bobby crazy, because he hates moving passionately. I guess, even though I wish I had been a better person, done more things in my life, over all, there are still a lot of good memories to look back on and be thankful for.
"Fantasize" was probably a harsh word, sorry. I agree about not repeating mistakes. My siblings are also scattered/not near me and I've lost one so far, but I also have kids and a grandchild. I thought I'd had my future mapped out though I'd really wanted something different. Recently that began to look like a real possibility and that's changed my plans. I don't see a lot from my past all that useful in making it happen though. So my head space probably has led me toward derailing this thread, which I shouldn't be doing. Changing past decisions would certainly have the chance of changing where I am in life. I'm just not sure which ones were my decisions and which ones I had no influence over. But on a macro scale I'd probably change having gotten divorced after 15 years as well as the things that led up to it. One thing I can be proud of is that neither partner was cheating or anything like that.
if I had it to over I wouldn't live with relatives-my daughter and my grandson is fine its the other one am running right behind Lois winters--i will be 91 in october--
You and I have a few things in common Yvonne. Jake like Bobby have things in common too far as not moving. My first husband aka SOS was a bad man. I had the kids with him but so did 6 other women while we were married, it was the days of Woodstock, and free sex, what can I say, except not to be with a man like him in that era,
We have grandkids and great-grandkids, numbers in the twenties, Marie had three kids when we married, and I helped her raise them. I surely do not regret divorcing my first wife at all. Been with Marie for over forty-five years now. You're not derailing the thread just adding to the flavor of it. While Mamma was alive she did all she could do, to keep the family together, and before she passed, my sister who passed last year, said she told her to promise her; she would keep us all together, didn't happen.
I don't feel lucky, I just consider since I survived this one so far, no sense in pushing my luck with a new one.
I would absolutely be more selective in the choosing of my friends. I would not be so stubborn and selfish. I would place more importance on planning ahead and choosing worthwhile goals. I am sure I would have ended up better if I had followed those guidelines. Oh well....
I am sorry about that for you. We went with you. It was a difficult decision and it would be hard to change now. Hugs.
I am going to a birthday party/family reunion this weekend. It is a lot nearer to home this time. I usually dread them and I think the driving time, especially through Chicago, is part of that. It is in Minneapolis. Hubby is staying home. He is not interested in doing much lately. Youngest daughter is staying home, nearby. She does not like my family. She thinks they are rude and almost cruel. They are. We were very competitive in our youth and sarcastic now, when we get together. Middle, mildly challenged daughter is coming with me. She loves everyone. And we are stopping off to visit my last (and 'her') horse on the way. I feel this could be a bit of a do-over, in a small way. Last reunion, my older brother and I spent some quality time together. We spent little time together in the past. Yesterday, my oldest daughter called to wish hubby a happy Father's Day and we talked a bit, pre reunion. We will be staying in the same Verbo. We will be talking more. I will try to get closer to my grand children as adults. They will be staying with us. 2 1/2 days to change a lifetime? Maybe not. But it might be enough time to fill in some holes. Or get grumpy. Wish me luck.
i couldn't start that process til way after childhood..... which was my most traumatic time... after that...be 190 pages of stuff