Tell your hubby happy birthday form us on the forum @Beth Gallagher. I, too, have a grand (daughter) in the Marines and a grand (son) in the Navy. None other but one is old enough for college yet. #18 grandchild is due in May, but no great-grands here either. The one not in college but old enough is a cancer survivor, so you can identify with her. She has had many troubles since her cancer diagnosis at age 5. She is now 23.
Thanks, @Don Alaska . We are at the age where birthdays are pretty much a non-event. Bless your granddaughter; what a harsh life she must have had so far. My youngest grandchildren are 8 and 11; they will be going off to college in the blink of an eye. I was just over on the BC forum; there is a woman who is having what sounds like IBC symptoms but she is having difficulty getting a firm diagnosis from a half-wit oncologist. I have been trying to reassure her but I know the terror she is feeling right now. I have to say that if it weren't for the new and frightened patients I would not bother with that place. It really isn't good for me mentally but I remember how much calming voices helped me and I want to do the same for the newly diagnosed if I can. Most of you know that I am an agnostic and have struggles with my beliefs, but there is one thread on that forum that is absolutely disgusting called something like "Atheists with Breast Cancer." I have never read such vitriol and hate; I can't believe how totally repulsed I am. I have not opened that thread in months but it persists and always shows up in the "new posts". I am once again reminded that this world is truly ugly. To think that women who are living with cancer and going through the harshest days of their lives would be so filled with hate is astonishing to me. Ridiculing someone's beliefs is just reprehensible.
I remember someone saying something like, It does not matter that you don't believe in God, He believes in you. Think of the people you have helped just by being with them at this difficult time. I wish we could heal all the damage of the ugliness but your gift is amazing. That you know what it is, having gone through BC, and have changed the fear into an offering.
You are too kind, Mary. I have no gift; I just remember what it meant to me to hear from someone who had walked the unknown path. It was stunning how my mortality became a thing. I don't know if I help anyone but I can't stand to see a post from a newly diagnosed woman go unanswered.
I am thankful that you are in Houston. M.D. Anderson is one of the top cancer places in the world. Your experience was/is terrible, but it could have been much worse had you been somewhere that didn't have the fine resources at hand. The granddaughter I mentioned's family had just moved to Seattle when she was diagnosed. If she had still been in Fairbanks, I have no doubt she would have died. She got the benefits of the University of Washington, Seattle Children's. and Fred Hutchinson. She had a very tough childhood, but is 23 now and working two jobs and having a pretty good life.
Believe me, I know how lucky I am to be a patient at MD Anderson. When I go for an appointment the waiting rooms are filled with patients from all over the world but I only had to travel 25 miles. I feel for any cancer patient who does not have access to an NCI designated hospital facility. I hope your granddaughter continues to have a healthy, happy life.
Getting old SUCKS, people. Last night I was walking down the stairs and my left knee decided it was not going to participate. Dang thing just "buckled" and I almost became a casualty but I managed to catch myself. I don't know what's going on with that knee; it doesn't hurt unless I straighten my leg all the way out and it will just randomly not cooperate with my plans to walk. I think I may have hyper-extended it when I was on the mini-trampoline. My short-lived burst of exercise enthusiasm has to be put on the back burner... tsk. We had planned to go to the garden center earlier this afternoon but I was afraid my stupid knee wouldn't cooperate. That place is huge and would be a lot of walking, so we postponed that trip since I had visions of being loaded onto a warehouse cart to be wheeled out after tumbling into the mulch display. I ordered a knee brace thing from Amazon so we'll see how this goes. It's always something. I just puttered around the yard for a while. I'm getting to be an expert at puttering and do a lot of wandering aimlessly around leaving a trail of half-completed tasks in my wake. I bummed myself out thinking of how old I feel with my bum knee, assorted aches and pains, etc. Soon I'll be rocking-chair bound with a stack of novels and a lap blanket.
Don't it just. You could always get a light-weight wheelchair for shopping and other things, just in case. Or one of those "rollator" walkers, some of which have three-wheels on each back wheel for stairs. As an aside, I love the title of this diary: Secret Diary. Do Not Read.
I'm thinking this will be my last year for an outside garden. I always start out full of enthusiasm but I forget how much work they are... even the small scale ones. Of course I always go overboard instead of being sensible, so that takes the fun out of it when it turns into a full time job. If I were going to have a tombstone I'd tell my husband to put "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time" on it. I have already harvested a ton of cucumbers and made a few jars of refrigerator bread-and-butter pickles this morning. I had to run to the grocery store for a couple of things and by the time I got home and finished cleaning up the pickling mess I am beat. Sad that when we retire and have plenty of time to do stuff we get too physically worn out to do much. I'm glad I have some frozen meatballs in the freezer so I can whip up some spaghetti and a bagged salad for dinner. I seem to be losing my enthusiasm for cooking which is weird because the kitchen was always my happy place. I must be in the doldrums, as my grandma used to say.