Ashes To Ashes

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Hoot Crawford, Jan 30, 2021.

  1. Martin Alonzo

    Martin Alonzo Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2015
    Messages:
    5,521
    Likes Received:
    5,250
    @Hoot Crawford
    If we knew the future we would probably avoid these problems as we do not . They need to be dealt with as you were the one who started or made the problem I think you have the solution. Like one famous psychiatrist said [Milton Erickson] if you were smart enough to make a problem than you know how you made it and you know how to solve it. I know your the decision you make will be right for you. We all love to help but you know more information that all of us.
    We all wait on the decision made by the expert that is you.
    God bless Hoot.
     
    #16
    Hoot Crawford likes this.
  2. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    17,029
    Likes Received:
    26,225
    It's a different thing when a spouse dies than if the couple is divorced. If my wife were to tell me that she wanted to be buried next to her first husband, whom she divorced, I would have a problem with that. It would be another matter if she had been happily married to her first husband, who then died. To be honest, I'd probably still have a problem with it because everyone wants to believe that they mean more to their spouse than anyone else, but it would be a different matter. Either way, I can see that it would be a tough one.
     
    #17
    Hoot Crawford likes this.
  3. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2017
    Messages:
    4,705
    Likes Received:
    7,429
    do you have a Will
     
    #18
  4. Hoot Crawford

    Hoot Crawford Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2017
    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    419
    Yes but it was done when wife (#2) was still living.

    I am very conflicted about all of this....
     
    #19
  5. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    10,281
    Likes Received:
    16,876
    I think that people have very different feelings about things like this. Personally, I could care less what happens with my ashes once I am gone. I told Robin that if she and the boys wanted to put them someplace , then up in Bonners Ferry where my folks lived when I was born (and my oldest son lives), that would be fine. I really don’t care, so what ever they decide works for me. I won’t be there to care.
    I miss my mom and dad, but the part that I miss is not in their graves.

    However, I realize that this is a very important thing with some people, so I can see why it would be causing you so much stress, and worrying about not being able to keep your promise.
    Since the ashes are being kept in a safe deposit box to keep them safe, I can’t see what difference it should make to your fiancé , where that safe deposit box was at.
    Some people seem to think that if they are cremated then they won’t be able to go to heaven, and that never made sense to me either.
     
    #20
  6. Boris Boddenov

    Boris Boddenov Active Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2021
    Messages:
    142
    Likes Received:
    93
    My wife's ashes are in an above ground church columbarium and my will specifies that mine will be put there too in the same niche.
     
    #21
  7. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2016
    Messages:
    3,654
    Likes Received:
    3,979
    I personally took some of my wife's cremains and scattered them on the tee of her favorite hole at the golf course we played and the rest in the Rose Bushes at the rear of our home. This was 1989
     
    #22
    Hoot Crawford likes this.

Share This Page