Choice Of Mates

Discussion in 'Philosophy & Psychology' started by Richard Whiting, Jan 28, 2023.

  1. Richard Whiting

    Richard Whiting Very Well-Known Member
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    I find it fascinating how people come to be attracted to a certain look in potential mates.

    If you were to ask most people , "What is your personal favorite look when dating ?" they would most likely have a specific answer. One guy might say, "Blondes with blue eyes and medium tall". The next fellow might say, "Brunette, with dark flashing eyes, raven hair and petite".

    I often wonder how they can to have such choices ?
     
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  2. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    I think it is sometimes just the person mannurism or personality. Then some you're not attracted to will chase you till you catch them.:p,
     
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  3. Thomas Windom

    Thomas Windom Very Well-Known Member
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    For me, it’s the total package. I’ve dated ladies from 5’ nothing, 85 lbs, to a 6’+ tall Danish gal that did triathlons. So different! I really didn’t like dating, the initial awkward meetings, the mechanics of it, but after a bit, I loved discovering all the new quirks in a partner. Definitely one of the most fun things in life.
     
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  4. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Just admit it, you are a hopeless romantic, most men are but some are better at dealing with it and realizing can't have it all.:D
     
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  5. Richard Whiting

    Richard Whiting Very Well-Known Member
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    Once, many years ago, a friend and I were discussing women and he said that he thought actress Selma Hyack was incredibly beautiful. For me, I just didn't see what he saw in her. My tastes ran toward Asian women, 5' tall and 100 lbs with long, lustrous black hair. He shared that he didn't see that.

    No idea why I came to develop those tastes.
     
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  6. Mitchell Hartwig

    Mitchell Hartwig Well-Known Member
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    I don't think you can just describe a type.

    It's something special when you first connect eyes. You can tell right away, if you let yourself.
     
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  7. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Not always.
     
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  8. Mitchell Hartwig

    Mitchell Hartwig Well-Known Member
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    Hah!

    Well, it has worked for me, I'll say that much.

    But you know what I'm talking about, I'm sure. The first time you look at each other, in one instant it's more than casual interest. You can *see* that it's mutual.

    I mean, if you have to work hard to convince them, it's not the same thing, at all.
     
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  9. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    Jake worked pretty hard to convince me and its worked for almost half a century, well, over 44 years now.
     
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  10. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    So your idea of meeting your true love is kind of like the song 'Some Enchanted Evening' which is a beautiful song.
     
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  11. Mitchell Hartwig

    Mitchell Hartwig Well-Known Member
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    Yes, but I'm not talking only about who you ended up marrying. Mainly about mutual and instantaneous attraction.

    It is good (again, in my experience) to have your life mate being from among those of the "mutual attraction" category. My first marriage was not of that category. The reason we split was NOT the lack of the "instantaneous" attraction thing, but other stuff.

    My current wife of almost 40 years, I still never get tired of looking at her, hearing her voice. It is a treat for me, everyday.
     
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  12. Marie Mallery

    Marie Mallery Veteran Member
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    "]Yes, but I'm not talking only about who you ended up marrying. Mainly about mutual and instantaneous attraction."



    :D
     
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  13. Mitchell Hartwig

    Mitchell Hartwig Well-Known Member
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    Hah!

    It's here at SoC that I talk about me, constantly!!!

    :)

    No, she is a good one. 9 years younger; I am very protective of her, but she sure doesn't need it. Very self-sufficient.

    Still, my mind works very differently from hers and I come up with stuff for the family that she'd probably not do without me.

    So, I want to get it all done, ASAP.
     
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  14. Thomas Windom

    Thomas Windom Very Well-Known Member
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    It’s certainly an odd thing. It happened to me once when I was single. I was waiting to cross the road at the mall (Smithsonian). As the light changed, a woman started crossing from the other side. It was the tight jeans and boots that first caught my eye. I just zoned out, we were both staring at each other as she walked across. I completely forgot about crossing. She walked past, giving me a curious look. I just stood there. After a second or so, I looked back and she had also turned around and hesitated briefly, like she might walk back, but then went on. I have forever regretted not getting to know her. I think maybe she walked on because, as she walked past, it looked like she might have been considerably older than I was. Still…
     
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  15. Mitchell Hartwig

    Mitchell Hartwig Well-Known Member
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    To me, this is what Mozart's Piano Concerto 21, 2nd movement (Elira Madigan concerto) is all about.

    Every one that slipped by and now you've got to remember it...
     
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