Clever One Liners

Discussion in 'Make Me Laugh' started by Craig Wilson, Jul 10, 2020.

  1. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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    How about some of your best one liners SoCs.

    Why did Elizabeth Arden? Because Max Factor.

    My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
     
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  2. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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    #2
  3. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Veteran Member
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    I threw a boomerang a couple years ago; I now live in constant fear.
     
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  4. Thomas Stearn

    Thomas Stearn Veteran Member
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    A lot of people cry when they cut onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
     
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  5. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    There are 10 kinds of people in this world: Those who understand binary numerals and those who don’t.
     
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  6. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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    Here the one about the terrorist who tried blowing up a bus. He burnt his lips on the exhaust.
     
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  7. Thomas Stearn

    Thomas Stearn Veteran Member
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    A mask tells us more than a face.
     
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  8. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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    I used to have a handle on life, but then it broke.
     
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  9. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Veteran Member
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    Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then you will be a mile away, and have their shoes.
     
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  10. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
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    Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
     
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  11. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    DEFEAT

    DEDUCT

    DEFENSE

    DETAIL

    Student Mortimer Snerd said:
    "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."

    Hal
     
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  12. Betty Jones

    Betty Jones Veteran Member
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    i would like to kick my s i l in de tail
     
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  13. Hugh Manely

    Hugh Manely Very Well-Known Member
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    We must employ every detail in our defense and defeat the progressives and left wing liberals, or else we may have to deduct many of our freedoms.
     
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  14. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    Very good relevant reply, Hugh!:D:)
     
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  15. Hal Pollner

    Hal Pollner Veteran Member
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    A man wanted to hire a lawyer, so he called the law firm of Berry, Berry, Berry, and Berry, saying he wanted to speak with Mr. Berry.

    The man said: "I'm sorry, but Mr. Berry is no longer with the firm...he retired last year."
    The caller said: "I see...but I would like to speak with Mr. Berry."
    The man said: "Mr. Berry is taking the day off today to play golf."
    The caller said: "Very well, but may I speak to Mr. Berry?"
    The man said: "Mr. Berry is on a case in Kansas City, but will be back on Friday."
    The caller said: "Well, OK...but may I please speak to Mr. Berry?"
    The man said: "SPEAKING!"
     
    #15

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