It is becoming time to decide and make request for, the direction followed for disposal of my mortal remains, as well as the prelude to that event. I desire no formal funeral, no "viewing", no "wake", no whatever-the-hell such proceedings are locally called. My wife agrees to abide. My reasoning? Few relatives left, those remaining have been "out of touch" for decades. No children, hence, no grandchildren. Assuming I go first, knowing the cost of "gala" funeral affairs, and knowing the sorry state of our finances, I believe my wife ought to be entitled to as much stipend as possible. No guarantees of pre-mortem desires are possible, and no review of actual request compliance is possible post-mortem for the poor "stiff". Is it morbid to think like this, that is, attempting to guide the process of one's exit from this earth, before the fact? Frank
It's a really good thing to do @Frank Sanoica so our loved ones will not have to try to figure out what we wanted them to do when they will be grieving at our passing.
My kids know what I want also. Cremated and mixed with my husband and then they can do as they please...scatter or keep. As for end of life directives..I don't want any life saving measures like vents etc...if I'm in a bad way don't hook me up. I'm still not sure about DNR... I don't like funerals or even memorials and I don't want my kids and grandkids and siblings crying at mine. My family will remember me without a memorial.
At one time I was totally against being cremated...I thought it would be to much like burning in Hell. Now I think the price of funerals, coffins, and burial plots have gotten so ridiculous that I would rather be cremated and give my children the money saved by not paying all those crazy funeral costs! They could take a nice beach vacation and scatter my ashes in the ocean with the money saved. Then I will always be living at the beach!
Frank you are doing the right thing, expressing your wishes now! It is not morbid, but logical and practical to think about this. My husband and kids , hate for me to bring it up...but hey suck it up buttercup - it is going to happen. I to desire no fancy funeral...waste of money. I plan on being cremated and my remains...shall be spread on the gulf of Mexico where my husbands grandparent house was- until Ike. I loved it there, and the peace and serenity, will be nice.
I told my youngest: just burn me up, put me in an envelope, and mail me back to California. I think it kinda creeped her out.
Hi @Frank Sanoica, Creamation has been the way my family has dealt with funerals for several generations now. If you can get a policy on payments now, you are better off. I had to pay up front for my husband's creamation, and since then the cost has gone up quite a bit. This is probably because it has become more and more the most economical for the average family. I recently bought myself a policy, and in only two years, it has gone up more than I would have thought.
I always tell my Honey that if he passes away before me I'm going to donate his body to Science so they can tell me how he lived so long on coffee, tea, beer, cigarettes, chips, and cookies as the mainstay of what he put into his body. Murphy's Law says he will probably live longer than me though.
FYI: in case anyone wants this info- the Neptune Society has been offering prepaid, preplanned arrangements for decades. Main branch is in California, but they have others, too. That way, a person doesn't have to worry about costs increasing.
Around here, anyway, they seem to have the idea that after you hit 40 you have one foot in the grave and they want to push you the rest of the way in... one example: years ago, I received a plain white envelope with 'THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX' in the return-address section; a second example: an envelope with a drawing of a highway and a highway sign that said 'EXIT.' Both were ads for companies that provide cremation services. Seems companies like that think this is funny.