Disillusioned

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Jim Nash, Jan 31, 2020.

  1. Jim Nash

    Jim Nash Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2018
    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    287
    Old age means friends and family living away only visit occasionally. When they do we pull out the stops providing hospitality re-payed with great conversations and board games.
    Recently one of these, in their mid twenties arrived for five days. They had changed to become confident but dismissive, only speaking when it suited them and answering questions if they considered it worth while.
    We payed for all their travel and entertainment costs, not expecting or receiving any help with household chores. They left without thanking us.
    I know the age difference made us geriatric farts but it was hurtful. Is it just a sign of the times? Has anyone had the same experience?
     
    #1
  2. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,568
    Likes Received:
    16,302
    I feel so saddened to read this - beyond disappointing
     
    #2
    Bess Barber and Micki Pembroke like this.
  3. Von Jones

    Von Jones Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 25, 2015
    Messages:
    6,537
    Likes Received:
    9,048
    If they were extended an invitation to visit I would agree with @Patsy Faye.
     
    #3
    Micki Pembroke and Frank Sanoica like this.
  4. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,568
    Likes Received:
    16,302
    Put some music on Jim - take the blues away …..
    @Jim Nash
     
    #4
  5. Ed Wilson

    Ed Wilson Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2019
    Messages:
    1,976
    Likes Received:
    3,463
    Was the relationship in the past cool and indifferent to begin with? Maybe your expectations were to high, but since you payed to have them they should have done better.
     
    #5
  6. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2018
    Messages:
    20,446
    Likes Received:
    42,676
    Were these friends or family? If "friends," I wouldn't bother with inviting them to stay again. If family, then I'd speak up and let them know I was not happy with their behavior. Seems like manners and common decency are in short supply these days, but my children and grandchildren have been raised to show respect. Sorry your feelings are hurt, Jim, but I feel like this is a sign of the times.
     
    #6
  7. Jim Nash

    Jim Nash Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2018
    Messages:
    174
    Likes Received:
    287
    The person was disciplined and raised to be respectful but they are now professional with a very astute boyfriend. I feel that they take heed of a previous British prime ministers advice that society has to be sacrificed to individual endeavour. Sad but as you say, Beth, dog eat dog is a sign of the times.Saying thank you is an unnecessary weakness.
     
    #7
    Bess Barber and Micki Pembroke like this.
  8. Beth Gallagher

    Beth Gallagher Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2018
    Messages:
    20,446
    Likes Received:
    42,676
    Jim, I suppose that we are now experiencing the feelings experienced by all the older generations that went before us. Society changes and we see our "old familiar ways" being discarded for the new. It has always been this way but we are only now beginning to experience the sting of it, having become the "old folks."

    I will admit that when I was in my 20's, I didn't give a lot of thought to my grandparents or what they thought of my actions. Though as I recall I was always respectful of them, they were relegated to "old people" in my limited life experience.
     
    #8
    Bess Barber and Micki Pembroke like this.
  9. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    12,824
    Likes Received:
    8,829
    I truly feel that Boomers, and before, have more respect. There are those young folks that know the person inviting them has much more money than they do, so they will take advantage of that. Not to say "thank you for everything"...……..they would definitely go on my "****" list!
     
    #9
    Hedi Mitchell and Micki Pembroke like this.
  10. Teresa Levitt

    Teresa Levitt Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2019
    Messages:
    1,026
    Likes Received:
    1,977
    very hurtful....they should never be invited back...or even acknowledged
     
    #10
  11. Micki Pembroke

    Micki Pembroke Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2019
    Messages:
    1,280
    Likes Received:
    2,610
    Truly, very hurtful. I guess, our age place certainly shows much more life lessons, like respect, family and friend devotion. Seems like in so many times, there's a string attached with some of those who may spend time with us, but for their own gains. Appreciation does seem to get lost among our younger generation, maybe not all, but some are certainly there.
     
    #11
    Beth Gallagher and Hedi Mitchell like this.
  12. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2017
    Messages:
    8,863
    Likes Received:
    15,512
    @Jim Nash ....I think a few months from now a trip to their place is in order.
    Perhaps you can show them what it's like to be invaded and used . Or I guess you could go and be Saints by behaving well like a real guest. But I like the first choice better:p
     
    #12
    Craig Wilson and Bess Barber like this.
  13. Bess Barber

    Bess Barber Veteran Member
    Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2019
    Messages:
    3,760
    Likes Received:
    7,601
    @Jim Nash Three years ago, my youngest son forgot to even text me for Christmas OR my birthday. I sent him a letter on some fake lawyer stationary I made on my computer stating (in legal terms) that he had been removed from being the beneficiary on my $100,000 life insurance policy. I later told him non of that was true, but he hasn't forgotten me since.....just in case. :D
    I'm sorry you had to go through having your feelings hurt, especially from people you care about.
     
    #13
    Craig Wilson likes this.
  14. Craig Wilson

    Craig Wilson Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    May 7, 2019
    Messages:
    6,545
    Likes Received:
    6,490
    @Jim Nash. These people dont seem to be able to grasp the fact that they too will be old one day. It takes nothing to be civil at least friendly and respectful at best. Surely creating a good impression as guests in someone else's home has to be of primary importance. Simple Jim dont ever invite them again.. they may then get the clue that they acted inappropriately and apologize.
     
    #14
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2020
    Bess Barber likes this.

Share This Page