Do You Have A Fear You Got Over And If So How Did You Do It?

Discussion in 'Philosophy & Psychology' started by Babs Hunt, May 5, 2018.

  1. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    Most people are afraid of at least one thing. Some of us may have just one fear while others may have a few or many. Has something you fear ever kept you from living the life you want or wanted to live though? If so what was that fear and did you take any steps to overcome that fear or fears? If you did, please share how you overcame it or if you are still letting that fear keep you from living life to the fullest.

    My fear is being the driver (the only one) so we can travel. I'm not afraid to drive around the City we live in but I am afraid to drive us to other States, etc. so we can travel and visit with family and friends who live far from us. I don't want to have this fear especially now that I don't have that many more years to drive and travel to places I want to go. So if anyone has any suggestions on how to conquer this fear please share them and you own fears here. Thanks.
     
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  2. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    I have driven pretty much everywhere, and have driven both tow trucks and ambulances for a living, yet I absolutely hate driving through large cities that I am unfamiliar with, driving in really heavy traffic, and driving through tunnels. By the time I get through a large tunnel, my hands are cramped from holding the steering wheel so tightly.

    As I've mentioned elsewhere, probably more than once, if I am driving alone, I'll take the country roads whenever possible, but I can't do that when I am traveling with my wife, largely because she's quite the nag if I dare get off of the expressway.

    For me, it's mostly unfamiliarity. Having made the drive from here to Washington, DC several times now, that doesn't bother me as much as it used to, and when I lived in Southern California, I didn't mind driving in the cities there.
     
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  3. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    So do you just make yourself do it anyway because you are not going to let it stop you from going where you want? Men are often much braver (and reckless) than women at least in my opinion....but I really hate that I am allowing this fear to stop me from doing something I really want to do.
     
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  4. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
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    Yeah, I go ahead with it but when we're driving together, I try to time things so that my wife is driving through the tunnels. I really hate them, largely because they combine most of the elements that I hate. Traffic is usually bumper to bumper in the tunnels, the lanes are (or seem) uncomfortably narrow, and I feel claustrophobic.

    I hated doing ambulance transfers to San Antonio because the lanes in San Antonio seemed narrower than in most places.

    When traffic isn't too heavy, I mostly enjoy driving.
     
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  5. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
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    Too many fears to mention Babs, I just use the usual remedy to distract me - music
    St. Christopher is for travel, say a little prayer to him first :)
     
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  6. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I'm not afraid of driving but I do hate it, especially the trip to my daughter's which I'll be doing again Friday.

    Guess my fears are medical tests and going by myself...I get very anxious.
     
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  7. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    My fear isn't driving itself...it's driving highways, etc. that I am not familiar with and driving long distances.
     
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  8. Don Alaska

    Don Alaska Very Well-Known Member
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    Someone once wrote "Do something that frightens you every day; it will make you stronger and your life more rewarding."
     
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  9. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    I have been taking steps out of my comfort zone pretty often now...sometimes it is just a baby step...other times a giant step...and it does help me feel more confident.
     
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  10. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
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    I overcame a life long fear of water in my late 40's by teaching myself to swim on my own terms. We bought a house with a huge pool, and I couldn't swim, and I though this is madness, I can't go on just wading up to my waist , I have to learn.

    I'd never gone to a swimming class for fear of having to learn in front of everyone else and looking a fool, but here now I realised was my perfect opportunity.. I know how to float on my back.. so I just had to learn to move my arms in a way that wouldn't panic me and make me sink like a brick in panic and fear of everyone around me in a public pool, pushing me under accidentally, kids jumping in just as I was trying to stay afloat etc.. So I did, I started off at the shallow end and just relaxed, no tress, no tension, and calmly and slowly moved my arms , while staying afloat..no mad panic thrashing around... and eventually by going out and trying several times a day, I was able to swim lengths within a very short time, until within 6 months I was swimming up to 35 lengths every morning...and now I love swimming...although I still hate crowded public pools..

    On the subject of driving..Also when I moved and worked overseas , I had to learn to drive on the opposite side of the road to what I was used to , through mad Spanish and Italian drivers..very crowded cities with tiny roads, and crazy traffic rules and laws. I was scared witless at first, but I knew if I didn't learn I would be a prisoner in my own home , so I just had to do it, what would be the point of moving overseas to be a prisoner !! Also I couldn't speak more than 5 words of Spanish when I bought my house there, yet I not only bought a house, and dealt with all the bureaucracy, and red tape, abogado 's , Estate agents, Doctors , banking officials..opening accounts in a currency I'd never dealt with, paying bills in a completely different way to how I was used to doing it.. and so on.... but I did it, and I learned how to speak another language in my 50's

    I understand your fear but my point is simply @Babs Hunt , is if you want it badly enough you will conquer your fear, and you will succeed!!
     
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  11. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Veteran Member
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    I think that may be part of it Holly...I'm not really sure if I do want to travel badly enough to get over it. When I lived in Jacksonville, FL with my husband and my kids and grandkids were all still living here in Louisiana I knew I was going to have to drive myself over here to spend time with them all...and I did even though I was anxious. Now, I'm with my kids and grandkids...and even though I love my siblings who live in other states I don't really feel the need to go and be with them like I felt that need to be with my children and grandchildren. And even though I think it might be nice to travel here or there sometimes...there is really no where I absolutely feel the need to go and visit.

    I drive all around my City and have no problem with that...so maybe the truth is that it is not really a fear of driving that is keeping me from traveling...but just the fact that I really don't have a deep enough desire to do it anymore.
     
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  12. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Veteran Member
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    I’m not sure if I really have any personal fears per se, but there are times when I have the caution signs come up or a big one that plainly says “Stupid Move.”

    For example, if I am trying to make some special cut on a piece of equipment and it demands that my fingers come precariously close to the blade, the caution light comes on and I make myself pay closer attention to what I am doing. I’m not afraid of the blade because it can’t just jump up and get me, but I can easily lose control and lose a finger or worse if I am not fully aware of everything that is going on. I believe some people call it, “respect”.

    The stupid move stuff is self defining. Would I do something which would threaten life and property without the proper knowledge and expertise it takes to do it safely? Maybe but not very likely.
    Diffusing a bomb comes to mind although I have never been subjected to a time when I would need that knowledge but nonetheless, if that opportunity makes its way in my life I would call someone else to do it.
    Stunt driving, working with extreme voltage, or dangling from a rock overlooking a canyon are things that I might do if I had to but chances are that without the proper training, again, I let those who do that enjoy themselves.

    Of course, my idea of having a fear or fears are things that are given names to or phobias. Things that lock up the brain and body to such a degree that something cannot be done no matter the need and to that degree, I know of nothing that makes me feel that way. I truly believe that in order to have that type of extreme fear, a person has to be afraid to die which is another fear I do have.

    Now, on second thought, am I afraid of getting mangled beyond belief and live through it? Perhaps a high possibility, but that’s what the “stupid” warning signs are for. That said, I do have to face the facts that some times I cannot control what kind of stupid things, stupid people are capable of which might find a pathway to my door.
     
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    Last edited: Jun 2, 2018
  13. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Veteran Member
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    I have a fear of Heights. I'm capable of flying but for years the difficult part for me was climbing the stairs to the actual plane. I'm fine with that now ...but I genuinely freeze with terror if I'm high up and there's only glass or worse a 1/2 balcony wall or railing separating me from potentially falling. I've never conquered that terror !!..The weird part of it is, that whenever I'm in that situation I literally have the compulsion to jump...:eek:
     
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  14. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Veteran Member
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    A born skydiver! When I first started jumping, I’d hesitate at the door, take a breath and then hit it. Once I was out the door and under my canopy (static jumps) I enjoyed the heck out of it. Eventually I went on to skydiving and although there was still a good shot of adrenaline prior to making the blast, it turned out to be a lot of fun!

    Try a tandem or piggy back jump and I am pretty sure you’ll have a thrill lasting the rest of your earthly life!
     
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  15. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Veteran Member
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    I don't have a fear of heights per say but I do have a fear of falling from a great height...meaning I can climb a high ladder if I feel safe on it...being up high doesn't make me dizzy or anything....I just have a fear of falling mainly.

    I get what you are saying @Holly Saunders bcasue Ive felt that sometimes too...like I won't stop myself from jumping....weird.

    @Bobby Cole ...I'd never jump out of an airplane...since I don't know what it feels like, it's a fear of the unknown, plus the parachute not opening or me fainting.
     
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