I almost hesitate to post this because sometimes people can have responses that admittedly, I may not want to hear. But many years ago my oldest (11 years older) brother said something to me that I could have gone without hearing and was of no benefit to me. So why did he say it? Heck if I know. I guess it was important to him that I know this. "Our parents marriage started to fall apart about the time you were born" Thanks! My family has too many issues and my mother stopped speaking to this brother when I was in high school never to speak to him again. Yet my oldest brother knew what my other brother and I endured at home. He told me once "You really never had a childhood. I did at least" He said in Germany they ran around like wild animals and no one ever worried about them and they did what they wanted. And I have issues of my own because I have not spoke to this brother since I was 24. He's a Jehovah's Witness and even my other brother who is in contact with him still states, that no matter what, it always goes back to his religion. No thanks.
Could it be that he is jealous of you for some reason or he is insecure and this makes him feel better ? I have a sister that never says anything nice about me to my face so I would hate to hear what she says about me behind my back. She is like a bully and is always talking down to me. I try to ignore her but like you, it is hard to do. Try to remember he is hurting himself too by making himself look bad.
@Denise Richardson Thanks for your reply but no, in no way to I believe this is a jealousy issue. With him being 11 years older than me he was my older wonder brother when I was a kid. I was probably in awe of him. We would go places on his motorcycle up in the mountains above Santa Cruz. Knowing how my mother was and looking back, it's a miracle she allowed this but strangely she did. Sometimes we were hardly let out of the yard on weekends. He had said other insensitive things to me once I got older but this one was his best.
No idea why your brother would try to hurt you, but family members sometimes do strange things. My #4 son pointed out one day that mothers in the Midwest U.S. are terribly hard on their daughters; it seems to be embedded in the culture there. The daughters never seem to live up to the standards their mothers set for the, no matter how gifted, talented or good they are. My wife, who was raised in the region said she noticed the same thing and some of the things her mother said to her over the years were terrible.
@Kitty Carmel ....your life has been fine without him....leave it at that. No need to torture yourself looking for acceptance or approval
How fine my life has been I don't know. I had a worthless deadbeat bio father and an older brother that is kind of in the same league. They are probably part of the reason I've stayed single and lived a rather isolated life. I certainly have abandonment issues and knew by my 30's I'd stay single. I just can't trust anyone enough.
I was forty-eight before I married. It wasn't as if I had any objection to marriage, but I was just too busy with other things.
I understand 'exactly' how you feel, my Mother and sister inflicted plenty of emotional abuse I knew in my mid 40s I was heading for a breakdown so I turned my back on them both I left it too late to save my physical well being but emotionally it was a huge weight gone from me It was a very good decision