Current example from the night before last- all kinds of things go on around here all the time, and are not limited to either gender, any age group, or any race. Wondering what you guys would have done if you'd been in my position at the time- or after the incident: I wanted to ask a neighbor a question, and went outside (person was yakking on phone, as usual). A group of a dozen or so tenants were outside the building next door acting rowdy. Out of the group, one individual (female, around my age) started hollering at me, virtually every disgusting word and term imaginable (forgive me for repeating this) such as 'You motherf@-- b**ch, f@@- c@@t,' etc. When I didn't respond, she marched over, and, in a threatening manner got directly up into my face acting like she was going to punch me. She accused me of talking about her behind her back, which I've never done. Before this incident, the individual and I were on pleasant terms- hi, have a nice day, etc., so this all came out of nowhere. The next day, I'd caught a ride to the store with a neighbor, and this individual was outside when we returned. She yelled over as if the previous incident hadn't happened- 'oh, did you go to the store?' Neighbor answered, but I said nothing. I believe she owes me an apology, but know it won't happen. People have the viewpoint that when individuals use illegal drugs and exhibit lousy behaviors you're supposed to 'just understand' and brush it off as if it never happened. I don't see it that way- as I don't do anything to deserve being harassed, threatened, bullied, I shouldn't dismiss it as 'it's o.k., no big deal.' I mean even if I don't make an issue of these incidents, I don't think I should have to remain on pleasant terms with individuals who treated me like that. What do you guys think?
It must be extremely upsetting and frightening for you @Janice Martin to have to live around such unpredictable people . A dozen or more people hanging about outside acting rowdy, and clearly at least one of them if not more ..were over 50 years old ..I'm not going to say I'm not shocked because I am, ..however to answer your question, no you shouldn't be expected to brush off or ignore bullying behaviour , but you say this individual is normally on good terms with you, so if her action was due to the use of illegal substances , could it be she doesn't remember your previous encounter? Perhaps you could ignore it this one time..(upsetting to you as it was) , and just stay indoors in the future whenever there's people milling about outside being rowdy, and you won't become a target. I feel for you tho', it sounds like a very toxic environment.
How awful for you Janice, drugs - drink, the curse of society Holly is probably right, the 'lady' in question probably doesn't even remember In your shoes I would begrudgingly reply 'good morning or whatever' - no need to get into conversation as such, but to keep things at least more pleasant also - not giving her any ammunition
I think I would move....sounds like you live in a bad area. If you can not move...um not sure what I would do. Then again I am up eralier than usual and have not had enough coffee yet.
I'm shocked also at the behavior...in 66 years I've never come across someone like that...in real life. I wouldn't confront her though, that's how people get killed nowadays. Just try to avoid her, be neutral. Don't expect an apology..that might set her off even more. She could be mental, on drugs etc so you'll never know when She's going to blow. If she keeps it up, I'd report it...sounds threatening.
I agree for your own safety @Janice Martin forget and if you can forgive this neighbor's terrible behavior. I also agree that if there are rowdy crowds outside...stay inside again for your own safety. If you can I hope you can move from a place that brings so much stress to your life but I know that isn't always possible....so the next best thing is to avoid this stress as much as possible and to keep yourself as safe as possible in this kind of environment. I'm so sorry you are having to experience these things Janice and I hope and pray this will be changed somehow for you in the future.
For me this is a time to play a game. First I would say do I know you? I think you have the wrong person. Would you like me to find help for you? This is not the time to take thing personally but a time to play
I have had patients speak like that to me, when I was a paramedic, but they were mental patients, or on drugs. I have never had a neighbor or acquaintance speak to me like that.
Keep your guard up, try to avoid interacting past a minimal civility so not to provoke her more, and try to stay clear of any unruly mobs no matter where, what age, or reason they are out there. Also, try to assess your neighbourhood's change over the time you have been there. If this is a new development it probably indicates that more people like that will gravitate there, and it would be best if you could relocate to be around people who share your own behavioural norms. Good luck!
Not only under the influence of substance but also the company. I wouldn't be surprised if she was the individual doing the things she said to you or someone else in the group. Myself I would let the incident go but not forget it for it may happen again.