I reflect about this time of year, every year, upon the coming date in November which has uncannily eerie events associated with it. The young man whom we adopted at age 16 in 1967, began experiencing serious intestinal bleeding during October, continuing into November. He was at first reluctant to reveal it to us, but as the seriousness of it increased, he finally did, and I took him to our family doctor. Some weeks previous, Rick and a cousin had gone to downstate Illinois rabbit hunting. Down there, he drank water issuing from the face of a rock cliff, and this led to suspected infection with parasites. The doctor, a pretty intuitive individual, said he would prescribe an anti-parasitic medication, but also asked whether Rick had recently experienced any extremely traumatic event in his life. He had, on October 22, when he lost both his parents. Doctor's tone immediately changed, hearing this. He suspected ulcerative colitis, a non-pathogen disease little understood back then, and quietly told me, we having no medical coverage, to get Rick admitted tp Cook County Hospital. This we did, on his birthday, November 28. He was confined in the hospital from that date until March 31, 1968, 4 months. During that time, he had extreme swings of progress and regression, losing about 40% of his body weight. This was a strapping, healthy young man, wasting away. Sometime after being treated unsuccessively by a myriad of doctors, a foreign-born one named Dr. Fakih, took Rick under his wing, revealing to him (whether true or not) that the Dr. himself suffered from ulcerative colitis, and had "taught" himself how to deal with it. Loaded up with high-power steriods, occasionally opium, Rick gradually improved, attributing much of it to Dr. Fakih's pep talks. From 1968 on, Rick had minor relapses, but was able to continue working, getting through them. Then, 7 years later, on a Wednesday evening, he was serioysly bleeding, and I called EMS, and he was tken to Southern Nevada Memorial Hospital. That Wednesday was November 26, 1975. We visited him the following day; he seemed in good spirits. Friday, at around noontime, the hospital called to inform me he was dead. On his 25th. birthday. Cause was said to be pulmonary embolism, blood clot in the lung. A nurse reported she had looked in on him and he had waved and smiled, a short time later he was found unresponsive. I have never been able to put this memory to rest. Frank
I'm sorry that your time with Rick was so short, Frank. You were 25 years old when you adopted him? No Father is prepared to lose a Son, that way, and I hope peace can finally come to you, knowing that you did all that you could do for Rick. I think that he would want you to have peace.
@Joe Riley Thank you for reading my long story, Joe. I've often wondered how, or if, a birthday could enter a significant influence in something like this. Back then, U.C. was thought to be psychosomatic in origin, caused by the mind going haywire. The cure for severe cases was removal of the colon, and Rick knew that, had researched it extensively, and learned also that one in four severe cases went on to develop colon cancer. He was one scared kid. And extremely brilliant, having missed 4 months of classes during his Junior year, he went on to graduate high school 2nd. in a class of over 500. That, after learning English at 13, having been born in Germany.
I am totally agreeing with @Joe Riley about this ! When you think about it, you (and your wife, of course; but she was already his sister ) were probably the most stable influence that he had in his life after losing both of his parents to such a tragic death, and such an unexpected tradgedy as well. You were the man who was there after his father was gone, and the man who helped him to deal with the loss, and helped him to pull his life back together. Yes, it is sad that he had the blood clot and died at such a young age; but that was something that could not have been prevented by you in any way. If you had not been there to stabilize this young man's life, his life might have ended just like his father's life, which would have been even a harder thing to have to remember for you. You were there when he needed you, @Frank Sanoica , and this is something to feel good about inside your heart.
@Yvonne Smith "You were there when he needed you, @Frank Sanoica , and this is something to feel good about inside your heart." No need for me to say, over all these years, I have dealt with those events mentally, over and over, countless times, seeking an answer to how to have better handled things. Useless effort, however, for no such circumstance was likely to present itself a second time during my remaining life. Not being a man who cries outwardly, instead I ruminate, like cows chew cud, living, as my wife says, "in the past". Perhaps my reasoning in presenting this is, not to seek solace, but rather thinking others facing difficult prospects with younger family members may gather a "steeliness" from it, that grit that get's us through......
This is a sad thread considering that Rick was young and he succumbed to a disease that was not very clearly explained. Internal bleeding is alarming and I cannot imagine the worries that you and your wife had suffered. But there are times that we have to accept what is given to us. If that is the end of his life, no one can do anything, not even the best doctors and we know that. But for a consolation, @Frank Sanoica, you have to remember that you have done the best for him.