First of all, no, this isn't about me. Let's say you were briefly married in your 20s; dated a guy 15 years younger when you were in your 30s then he left you and married someone else. Now, you're in your 70s and he contacts you via FB. He lives in another state and says he's getting a divorce. What would you do?
I would probably ignore it, but I'm not on Facebook and wouldn't have dated anyone 15 years younger so I'm no help. That's a large age gap which is probably more significant in one's 70s. People will do whatever they want no matter what I think, though.
I think that age and friendship can vary, so if this was a person that I liked back then, and they wanted to be facebook friends now, I would at least write back to them and see how things went. Not saying it would become a romance again, but friends seems possible.
A female member of my extended family married a man who was 11 years younger than her when she was in her mid-fifties. I thought it was ridiculous at the time. I was wrong. It worked out very well for them and he took wonderful care of her when she became ill. She lived to be 89 and they loved each other until the end. I think it’s more about individuals than it is about ages.
Definitely not about me. I realized a long time ago that I have terrible taste in men and I could either spend years in therapy or get on with my life. I chose the later, besides, I'm not on FB. No, this is an acquaintance. Months ago, she told me about this and asked me my opinion. I don't think she was happy with what I said which was only, "Be careful." Her taste in men is even worse than mine as in abusive alcoholics. Oh well, I was just wondering what others thought. As Beth said, people will do what they want. She talks about him moving here and moving in. I just can't imagine living with someone after so many years alone, but, as I freely admit, I'm weird.
Doesn't sound weird at all to me, Jan. If anything ever happened to my husband, I'll be fine on my own. I don't want to have to get used to another geezer.
Well, after reading the next post you wrote, @Jan Ahlmann , it seems to me like the advice to “be careful” was a very good piece of advice. If he just is getting divorced and looking for a place to move in, then I would think that he is more motivated by finding a new home than wanting to restart an old friendship. And it sounds like maybe that is what happened the first time she dated him, too. He wanted someone the first time they dated and moved on when he found someone that worked out better for him, maybe. Just guessing here, because you have not told us enough about what happened the first time around with this couple. I think that any friends that I have made over the years, I would be glad to hear from; but having someone (male or female) suddenly wanting to move in with me would definitely set off warning bells for me if I were living alone.
When there is too much of an age/generation gap, that in itself can, and does many times, create problems. Even a race difference can be a problem, as in our great niece's situation. She is seeing a guy from her college that, his parents are from So Korea. They are getting pretty serious. The young man's father is fine with the relationship, but the mother definitely isn't. Apparently she wants her son to be with a So Korean girl. The great niece has met the father, but the mother refuses to meet her.
I was going to suggest she just invite him for a visit to see if they still get along, but then I thought about how hard it can be to get some people to leave once they've made themselves comfy. There are certain men, my brother was one, whose definition of a "good girlfriend," was one who cleaned his house, did his laundry, sorted his mail, cooked his meals, split all the expenses, and (worst of all) sat down with him to watch all his sports and action movies.
This is what I learned about baseball. Strike out - he left and Strike two - married someone else and moved away Strike three - and it went sour so Stay where you are.
Block him off and brush him out... He married someone else and the divorce isn't over and done with and that's unheeded baggages at our age...IMHO! Ultimately, it's down to the person's choice to decide what they want to do...