In the fall of my 18th year, I thought I was on top. Having graduated high school, received my diploma, secured a full time job and bought a car of my own, what else was there? It was an early Saturday morning, and I was pursuing my number one passion, squirrel hunting. I was driving down a gravel road in the river bluffs north of my town when I spotted a large tract of promising looking timber. The top of a row of hills looked to be covered with large old oaks, some hickories and walnut trees. Parking my car off the side of the road, I was soon nestled down against a tree, overlooking a feeding area. The ground around me was covered with acorns. As the sun rose, so did the wildlife activity. The ground became alive with squirrels scurrying about as they fed, and in the tree tops squirrels were flitting about. It didn’t take long to collect my bag limit of 6 squirrels. I was quite proud of the fact that I only fired 6 .22 short cartridges. As I left the woods, and my car came into sight, I saw someone on a big gray horse standing by the car. On closing, I noticed it was a woman, or young girl, with long, straight red hair. “Hello”, I said, smiling. “Hi, what’s your name”? “Ike. What’s yours”? “Rachael. Nice looking rifle. Can I see it”? I handed the unloaded rifle to her. Wheeling her horse around, she took off at a gallop down the road, still holding my rifle. It took me a few seconds to recover from my shock at seeing myself so easily disarmed by a mere girl. Before I could give chase, I had to turn my car around. By then, she had disappeared up a farm lane. Driving up the lane, which ended in a farm yard, I saw her standing beside her horse, talking to two men. One was holding my rifle. “That’s my rifle”, I said as I approached the two men. The older man asked my name. I told him my name. He turned the rifle over and over in his hands, looking at it. “I don’t see your name on it. All I see is the name ‘Remington’. Did you steal this rifle from a feller named Remington”? I repeated that it was my rifle. Then the older man said that his daughter said she found it in a ditch up the road. Was I calling her a liar? Stuttering something about how I would just have to let the sheriff handle the matter, everyone began laughing like hyenas. The older man then introduced himself, his son and daughter. It came out that his family was friends with an uncle of mine (dad’s brother) who had a farm over on the next road. The man handed me back my rifle, then told me I could hunt his land but to park in his farmyard, as he liked to know who was in there. That fall, I hunted that spot several times. One day I returned home from a hunt rather late. On entering the house, my dad asked where I’d been. I told him I stopped at a friends house to give him my bag of game. We dressed everything out, had a few beers, then I came home. Dad just had to start with his smart remarks. “I thought maybe some girl ran off with your rifle again, HAW_HAW_HAW”. Even mom joined in with her shriek of a laugh. It seems my uncle couldn’t keep anything to himself either.
"Is your name Remington?" Okay, I have to admit that that was a very good line for that dude, @Ike Willis ! I shouldn't have giggled, but that was a funny story! I thought I knew where it was going but I was wrong... thought you were going to say that you started dating the daughter or something! Squirrel hunting... now there's a bad memory from my past. My dad and brothers went squirrel hunting one weekend... Saturday like you did and they got some. Okay, fine. I didn't need to eat it (I love meat... and venison, etc. but I just couldn't get used to the thought of eating squirrel.) Everything was fine and I was set to have a sandwich and soup for supper. But then my Mama started cooking what those boys were so proud of bringing home... they wanted squirrel pot pie. OH MAN! I'm not kidding you when I say that stench made me so very sick that the vivid memory and smell are still strong in my mind (and stomach... ugh!) all these decades later. It was... well, I'm thinking it may have been a skunk in disguise. That was sooooo horrible. (Of course I'm joking about the skunk, but... something was definitely wrong with that critter!)
I have a squirrel story! I hate squirrels and had plenty of thoughts of how to get rid of them until my neighbor told me that I couldn't kill them. Anyway one day I went out back to check on some bulbs that I had replanted after squirrels dug them up and I found a big dead squirrel. Oh no, my neighbor is going to think I killed it if she sees it! I shoveled it up and tossed it over the fence. Not too soon after my neighbor came outside. (I thought she saw me toss the squirrel). So I told her about finding a dead squirrel. She said 'Von, you killed it!' No, no I didn't. As she went on and on about me killing God's creatures I remembered something and then said, "You know it was really windy I think the squirrel tried to jump and missed its mark, yeah that's what happening! I do not know if she believed me but it did make her be quite for a minute.
The only thing I have against squirrels is that they would raid my bird feeders. I bought a big super-soaker water "gun", pumped that baby up and shot them with water. How they ran!
I like my squirrels. One of them will take peanuts from my hand. I started feeding the birds, then the squirrels came, and I like the squirrels better. Birds still come too.
We also put out food for the birds, which gets raided by the squirrels. After they ate up all of my garden seeds that they could find last spring (sunflowers, beans, beets,squash, cucumbers, and spinach, among others), they have not been on my "good list" anymore. Now they are off of Bobby's, too because they not only eat the bird seeds; but they pull the lid off of the bird feeder, and scatter the birdseed all over the porch ! The sweet little mourning doves always come upon the porch and try to eat up what falls (they are way too large to balance on the bird feeder and eat); but the squirrels always shred up the sunflower seeds and leave a pile of hulls on the porch for poor Bobby to sweep up. So, you might say that they have worn out their welcome. In the summer, he used a squirt gun on the squirrels and the carpenter bees ; but now that it is so cold, we do not want to harm them by squirting them. Bobby just pounds on the screen door and yells at them, and then they duck up the side of the porch and onto the roof. The plan is to teach Tootsie to do Squirrel Patrol, and chase them up the tree when we see them on the porch. She is trying to get the idea; but also thinks that the neighbor's kitty cat should not be on the porch. (Of course, Bobby agrees with her about that; but we still do not want her to race off across the yard chasing the cat.)
Oh my, @Von Jones ! That's terrible... but yet a wee bit funny at the same time. I hope your neighbor believed you! Oh, digging up bulbs... I know all about that! We have squirrels that looooove eating the bird food we put out. We even named the biggest one "Earl." Yeah, Earl the Squirrel... and he has a friend we call Pearl. And one time a third one came around that is Merle. Don't judge. hehe Anyhow, Earl is a digger/planter for sure. Usually I don't mind, but one time my neighbor across the street came and told me that he sees "my squirrel" had paid him a visit. I went to see what he meant and sure enough, there was one of my ice cream tulips that wasn't cheap, I might add, growing in HIS yard. I shall have to talk to Earl and teach him that bulbs I buy stay in THIS yard! Any ideas on how to make that little pilferer understand?!