Keeping Family Items

Because my dad's house burned while I was at college, I have nothing from my parents. Not even a photo of them as they were when I knew them. The only photo I have of my parents was taken the day my oldest brother was born, about twelve years before me. If I didn't know that it was them in the picture, I wouldn't have recognized either of them.

I like to think that the things that mattered most to me would be something that the people who mattered most to me would want to keep, but perhaps not. My neighbor is an auctioneer who mostly does estate auctions, and much of the time the grown children who inherit their parent's homes don't even make the trip. They just hire someone to auction it off and to dump what they can't sell. Their only interest is in whatever cash they can get out of it. When family members do come, it's not the sentimental stuff that they fight over. It's the stuff that's worth money. Family photos are discarded, and books don't sell well at auctions so my wife often sells them for him on eBay. That seems sad to me.

 

One thing that I have thought about is that, although I couldn't ask him about it without it sounding like I was accusing him of being dishonest, but I have wondered what keeps an estate auctioneer from simply putting stuff aside for himself.

Someone representing the estate will go through the house with him. Sometimes this is a relative but often it's someone who the relatives have hired. After going through the house, he - the auctioneer - makes a bid. I'm not sure just how that works but I know that sometimes he doesn't consider it to be worth his time. If he is going to have to discard more stuff than he can sell, he's losing money.

But in my house, and I would think this would be the case in others as well, a lot of the valuable stuff is hidden away pretty well. I don't know that anyone would find it until they were emptying the house out later, and even then it would be likely to be discarded unless someone is looking closely.

What I am getting at is that the auctioneer gets a percentage of each sale. Plus he is paid whatever amount is agreed upon for his service, which includes cleaning the house out, discarding trash, etc.

What does an auctioneer do if he comes across a cache of gold, hidden away in a piece of furniture or something, after the estate agent has left? If he is an honest man, he includes it in the auction and collects a portion of the sale. Otherwise, I don't know what would keep him from simply taking it home with him.

I am thinking my neighbor is an honest man because he owes us money.

 

I'd like to revisit this topic because it's on my mind. First, I am going to digress a bit to talk about something I know I've mentioned in another part of the forum, but then I'll bring it back on topic, as it does relate.

When I was a child, my cousins and I enjoyed going through abandoned houses. Since the town that I had grown up in had moved after a fire, and in order to be nearer to the railroad, there were quite a few empty houses, and part of the old town had re-forested, so there were even houses in the middle of the woods, with no accessible roads leading to them.

While we were friends, my cousins and I were not of the same mind. A couple of them were mostly interested in seeing what they could find that they wanted, and had little or no curiosity about the people who had once lived in these houses. In reality, most - if not all - of them were probably related to us because we were related to most of those who lived around us.

Most of these houses were empty shells, but a few of them were fully furnished, even with stocked pantries, clothes, and personal items.

I would go through drawers, read letters, because everyone saved their letters then, and I'd examine the personal effects and try to figure out what their lives were like, or at least make up a story in my head. One of them had a folded American flag, of the sort that is given out at military funerals. From photos on the wall, and letters in a drawer, the people lived there were a couple whose son was fighting in Europe during World War II.

My dad fought in World War II, and I was born not so many years after that war was over, so we weren't talking ancient history. I found no letters of condolences but, from the flag, I guessed that the son may have been killed in Europe, although it's quite possible that his parents simply folded their own personal flag using the military convention. I hadn't thought of that last part at the time though, so I assumed that the son had been killed during the war.

The most recent magazines and newspapers were from the late 1940s, and there had been two other children in the family, according to family photos, many of which were still on the walls.

I was intrigued as to what had happened here. My parents undoubtedly knew who these people were but I couldn't ask them because I'd just get yelled at for being in the house, particularly since my cousins were stealing stuff.

If one son had died during the war, as I had assumed, then his parents were still alive to receive the flag. If they moved, surely they'd have taken the personal stuff with them, such as the family photos and the like. Other than the fact that everything was old and dusty, it was as if the place had been inhabited up to the point where the occupants simply disappeared.

From letters addressed to both the parents, it would seem that they had both been alive when their son was writing to them. Could they both have died at the same time? I couldn't come up with a story that made sense to me.

Plus, from photos, I could tell that there had been two other sons. But, while there were photos of the one son at various stages of life, there were no pictures of the other two sons beyond childhood. One looked to be twelve or so, while the other was younger, in the last pictures that I could find. There were no letters from them or addressed to them. It was odd.

Bringing this back on topic, I didn't even know who these people were yet I was interested in figuring out something about their lives, and sometimes I think about my son or grandchildren, and things that they might like to have or what people might think of my wife and me from the stuff we may leave behind.

Then, there is the sad likelihood that no one will even be interested. That doesn't mean that we will be leaving no one who loved us but, quite likely, no one is going to consider it to be worth their while to make the trip or to peruse the contents of our home other than, perhaps, an auctioneer who will be selling off our stuff, or someone we don't even know who breaks in to see what they can find. Will they have the same curiosity that I had as a child, or will they - like my cousins - be interested only in what they can get that's worth something?

Probably the latter.

We have some silver and some other things that are worth something, but probably not enough to pay the costs of my son making a trip to Maine and back from California. Plus, he probably wouldn't even be able to find it.

We have a grandson who is, by blood, my wife's grandson and not mine, but I have known him since he was born. He is old enough to drive now, and he might be interested in making the trip from Baltimore. He may also have some curiosity beyond monetary value, but I don't know.

When my father died, a couple of my brothers cleared out his house and offered me whatever there was that I might particularly want. He left nothing of great monetary value, so it was all sentimental. But I couldn't make the trip because my father died in his home in Michigan, and I was a single parent with a job in California. So I never did for him what I would hope that someone would do for me after I am gone, but I would have liked to.

What about you? Do you have interests, collections, or things that you hope someone else might be interested in when you are gone? Do you think it's likely that someone will be?

 

Amazing that you would reopen this thread right at this time, @Ken Anderson . We have just returned from a trip to the post office to mail a necklace set to my step-daughter from an earlier marriage.
Even though that marriage relationship ended many years ago, I still keep in contact with the two girls, and I have a silver and Turquoise necklace, bracelet, and earrings set that their father bought me when we were married.
I thought that I would rather have the jewelry set go to someone who would cherish it, than just to sell it and have the money, so I wrote to Angelina and asked her if she would like it. Her father is now in a nursing home with Alzheimer’s, and this will be something from him that she can keep and cherish.
She is very excited that I am sending it to her, and I feel very happy that I have sent the keepsake to a good home.