Do kids want to grow up and be like their parents and/or grandparents. Do "bad habits" like smoking, cussing and other things come into play? We know a Baby Boomer couple who have two adult sons and both are Engineers with a college education. There dad is a retired Engineer. Like their dad, they have terrific incomes. Actually, their incomes are much higher than their dad's ever was. Both sons live a nice "upper-class" lifestyle, just like their mom/dad did and still do. The parents are "Snowbirds" and have property in Michigan and Florida, along with a lake cottage in central Michigan. My brothers kids are the same way. He retired from the state of PA and his kids have been on their jobs for years. The dad no longer rides his "dressed" motorcycle that much, but his sons have Harleys. His kids have a nice income, just like he did. My brother's wife is also retired (Pension) from a company. I just sometimes wonder, when kids are raised around parents that might have tattoos, cuss, smoke, drink, will the kids turn out the same way. I often heard, "I want to be just like dad (or mom or grandpa/grandma)". As for me, I didn't take up the alcoholism that my dad had, because I wasn't raised around him. However, I did take up smoking, when I went into the Navy and for a number of years later, because my step-dad smoked a pipe every day. Never got interested in tattoos, because nobody in my family had them when I was young. How did your kids/grandkids turn out?
There are certain generational traits that are genetic, while others are environmental. The debate goes on. At the end of the day, each person is an individual and will make their own choices regardless of who they are related to. The trick as a parent or a grandparent, is to respect who they are as an individual regardless of whether their choices coincide with yours or not. I don't care if they smoke, drink, have tattoos or are gay, I just want them to call me regularly.
You are so right, Bess. All of our children are distinct individuals and you'd never know they were raised under the same roof. They're all great young people (especially since they all got educated and outta my hair!! ) I don't know how they turned out so great considering that their mom curses like a sailor, drinks beer, and their dad is a smoker. The horror.
Wife and I believe if certain things come into play, kids can/will grow up to be outstanding citizens and not have the bad habits that other kids wind up having. Attending church could definitely be a huge plus in kids development.
Typically (if, indeed, there is such a thing as typical), young children will identify very closely with their parents. As they reach their junior high or high school years, they separate, and by the time they get into college or begin their working lives, they view themselves as being very different from their parents. Then, as they come into maturity, those who are capable of reflection will recognize much of their parents within themselves. That's the way it used to be, anyhow. In today's world, where the educational system is all about indoctrination, those who go on to college may never be capable of reflection or independent thought.
Well, there can be multiple generations of farmers and/or ranchers...…...where kids are around livestock and crops for years and continue the same tradition. There are those that chose the military for a career, because one of their parents or a relative was a "career person" in the military. There are many occupations that parents/grandparents were in that the kids and grandkids get into. I do sometimes wonder how "hardcore" bikers kids turn out. How kids of a lesbian or gay couple turn out. Don't hear much about that.
@Cody Fousnaugh Why would a biker or gay family tend to produce children who aren't as happy or successful as anyone else? When you look at the statistics of abused children, they don't seem to come from either of the those groups. I'm not saying a traditional family life isn't nice, I just don't think it excels over any family unit where the kids growing up in them are truly loved.
You and wife are merely speculating as you did not take the plunge to raise children together. Talk is cheap.
Perhaps they are raised to be happy/successful, but many, many people don't think so. When a child doesn't have a choice of what type of family to be raised with, bullying can really come into play. There are those that say "that poor child (or poor children), they are being raised by a gay family." I really don't know, but was very curious about the different ways kids grow up and the family they grow up within. The jails and prisons seem to be full of adults that grew up in bad environments, including parents that weren't the best.
That is true, but it's also a fact that just as many and probably more ( I don't have stats).. who came from dysfunctional families as I did ( I lived in good area, but with violent parents) , don't end up in prison or recreate their parents abuse or dysfunction ..
I may be another example, then. My father was a drunkard,too, and boozed himself to death when I was 13. However, I did not take after him nor did my twin brother. We didn't take up any of his other bad habits like smoking. etc. either. On the contrary, as 13 year olds, we learned to despise him for the way he lived his life wasting the family savings on drink and taking no responsibility whatsoever. So there was never the slightest risk of us taking him as a role model. I never missed him nor did I miss a father at all. Our lives had got nothing to do with the life of our parents and we don't regret that.
Two girls, two boys same parents, raised under same roof... Years later.. Both girls have mutiple children, never married and barley money to survive- oh and no education. One boy grows up graduates and marries, just your average Joe but a devoted family man. Other boy graduates works three jobs in order to create life for him and future wife. Now a policemen and his kids have everything he did not. A bed to sleep in, food to eat,stability of living in a clean and loving home. My point is, much of what you do depends on You and far you will go to get there.