A family member brings a broccoli casserole to a family gathering. She is young and this is the first time she made this dish. She asks you if you like it. It's OK but not all that great. The broccoli needed to cook a little bit more and it has too much cheese. Would you tell her?
No, I wouldn't. (Unless she was my daughter, then we'd turn it into a learning opportunity. ) My husband's sister is the world's worst cook, but somehow she always manages to make the dressing for holiday meals. It makes me cringe but I serve myself a teaspoon full and push it around on my plate till dinner's over.
I would say all the rich cheese was probably too much for me to eat all the time and ask if she thinks it would taste as good with less cheese. Or maybe since you are older, you like broccoli cooked softer, does she think it would taste as good if you cooked the broccoli in your version of the dish longer. That way, you've put the idea in her head without having hurt her feelings, nor did you really lie. This reminds me of a cartoon I read decades ago about Superman. A little boy didn't want to tell his friends that he had lied because then they would think he was a liar. Superman said, if you don't tell them the truth, then you ARE a liar. Oddly, that story always stayed with me. Hasn't always stopped me. but has stayed with me.
I would try to find something that I thought was delicious (or at least good) about the casserole, and tell her how much I liked that. If nothing else, I would at least say something like “I just LOVE the combination of broccoli and cheese together ! I have never seen a recipe quite like this before. ” That way, I m not saying that there was nothing wrong with the casserole, while still not praising the dish itself.
I think we all tell little white lies once in a while. It would be cruel not to. @Bess Barber , and @Yvonne Smith those are good suggestions.
I always remember my old farrier (horse-shoer) from many many years ago. I used to go along with him when he was shoeing horses and hold the horses while he trimmed the hooves and put on new shoes. One day, we were at a place and the owner brought out what had to be the UGLIEST, skinny-scrawny horse we had ever seen; but the owner was just so proud of that horse, and went on and on about how wonderful of a horse it was. Finally, my friend had to say some kind of a response, and his answer was something like “Yes, you would have to look for a long time to find another horse like this one. “
I wouldn't say anything. I know I've been told before and it hurts a little. My resolve to this: To me everyone's taste buds are different so I don't expect everyone to like my cooking.
When it comes to food, I have to be very careful whom I am speaking to. In a commercial kitchen I am extremely critical but when it comes to someone’s personal home made meals, I have a tendency to be very lenient and encouraging. When my stepdaughter (Yvonne’s daughter) first started preparing food instead of ordering in and eating out, she was into everything. Her attempts to follow recipes and go beyond the norm was indeed wonderful and it was good to see how much she was trying to learn how to cook. Some things turned out splendidly but others, well, not so much. The object of appreciation though is that she tried and just the attempt was (and is) something to remark about in a favorable way. Something akin to, “a great first attempt”, or ‘it’s not my cup of tea but it looks fantastic” is enough to encourage someone to go further. In the case of the OP, a comment akin to, “I like a lot of cheese (which I do) but sadly, even though crisper broccoli is indeed healthier, I lean toward a little less al dente.” “Dentures have a way of making softer foods a standard”. No white lies but a soft critique concerning personal preferences accenting what you might like in the future. In the case of a bad recipe for dressing.......”I like a little less sage but I’m sure it’s great for the rest of the folks.”
This is just one incidence. I'm sure many of us tell little white lies at some time in our lives. It's an act of kindness sometimes. Do any of you?
When someone says they lost 35 pounds and your looking at them and know this is an obviously lie on their part. I always just say "Good for you!", but I want to say "Do you want me to play along?".