Making A New Friend

Discussion in 'Personal Diaries' started by Ann Leonard, Mar 28, 2019.

  1. Ann Leonard

    Ann Leonard Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2019
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    159
    A couple of weeks ago, a new parishioner, who I knew from a local business, asked me if I would mind getting together for coffee, or dinner so she could pick my brain. She was not only new to our church, but also to Lutheranism, having been brought up Baptist. I told her that I loved the idea, and invited her to my home for a simple dinner.
    Last night, she came over, passed the "sniff test" from my dog, and we spent two hours just talking about her Baptist upbringing, and my back and forth Lutheran, Roman Catholic upbringing. She confessed that this back and forth was the reason that she wanted to pick my brain - what's it like to go from one religion to another. While that specific question was not directly address last night, I enjoyed listening to her story, and getting to know her. Life has not been easy for this woman, and yet she has maintained her faith in God, and has decided to take that faith in a new direction, by joining the Lutheran Church. I have to admit, that I found myself admiring her strength, and her character.

    Today, I woke up wanting to Do something for her, to solidify our newly found friendship, but then thought better of it. What if my gesture of friendship was seen as a desperate act, or being pushy? I am by nature, a giver, I like to share with those I care about. To be honest, I have so few really good friends, that I'm afraid that Anything I may do would scare her away. So instead of making a "grand gesture" I decided to write my thoughts down.
    Good Night
    Sue
     
    #1
  2. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    14,880
    Likes Received:
    27,866
    That is awesome, Sue, and it sounds like you may have found a new friend, and the friendship will bloom even more because you also share church together.
    It is wonderful when God drops friends in our life like this, and i hope that it works out well for both of you.
     
    #2
  3. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2016
    Messages:
    9,297
    Likes Received:
    10,619
    @Ann Leonard "Today, I woke up wanting to Do something for her, to solidify our newly found friendship, but then thought better of it. What if my gesture of friendship was seen as a desperate act, or being pushy? I am by nature, a giver, I like to share with those I care about.

    No advice being forwarded, please understand, but being the steadfastly forthright person (fool, perhaps?), I think I would politely tell her exactly what you stated above, had it been my own circumstances. The fact that she called on you indicates acceptance would be shown by her.
    Frank
     
    #3
  4. Bill Boggs

    Bill Boggs Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    May 13, 2015
    Messages:
    5,747
    Likes Received:
    7,721
    Had similar thoughts as those expressed by @Frank Sanoica. A good friend is not often found or made.
     
    #4
  5. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,568
    Likes Received:
    16,301
    Really do understand the above quote
    Its lovely when you find someone that you like and respect but I can see why you're concerned. Just go with the flow now, and let things
    take their natural course. Being older and wiser, we learn to be more cautious, be your friendly self and hope that things work out well :)
     
    #5
    Ann Leonard and Bobby Cole like this.
  6. Holly Saunders

    Holly Saunders Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2015
    Messages:
    51,949
    Likes Received:
    17,919
    I think your instincts are right... just take things a little slowly until you get to know each other better...

    Pleased you've found a new friend..harder when we're older to make good friends ...
     
    #6
    Frank Sanoica and Lulu Moppet like this.
  7. Emma Smith

    Emma Smith Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2019
    Messages:
    502
    Likes Received:
    1,021
    Several years ago, I had an online friend that I met a few times for lunch.

    She had met a woman from her church and thought they were becoming friends. The woman wanted to go out to lunch together. While they were at lunch, she was trying to sell her something. She wasn't interested in what she was selling and they didn't become friends.

    The last real friend I had walked over to me one day and motioned to the room full of vicious gossips and said, "They're telling me you're gay and you're into me."
    I assured her that neither of those things were true.

    Because she didn't just accept what they were telling her and asked me about it, we were still friends when she left a few years later.

    If you're meant to be friends, it will happen.
     
    #7
    Lulu Moppet likes this.
  8. Ann Leonard

    Ann Leonard Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 14, 2019
    Messages:
    63
    Likes Received:
    159
    Thank you all for your feedback, greatly appreciated
     
    #8
    Holly Saunders and Patsy Faye like this.
  9. Tex Dennis

    Tex Dennis Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2018
    Messages:
    911
    Likes Received:
    1,554
    I met probably my best ever friend at a truck stop getting fuel I asked if I could help, she had 1 leg and in a wheel chair, she accepted my offer, you never know till you ask! I had about 5 yrs before cancer took her.
     
    #9
  10. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2016
    Messages:
    8,565
    Likes Received:
    12,083
    If you run into her at church you might let her know how much you enjoyed your get together and see where it goes from there... :)
     
    #10
  11. Tex Dennis

    Tex Dennis Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2018
    Messages:
    911
    Likes Received:
    1,554
    My exact words were: If possible I would like to meet you. That what I said to the best friend I ever had. I opened the door right there she said heck yea! Referring to the previously mentioned truck stop meeting, we parked our pickups and went inside for lunch that's how it started. If I had remained silent it would never have happened.
     
    #11
    Frank Sanoica and Ann Leonard like this.
  12. Tex Dennis

    Tex Dennis Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2018
    Messages:
    911
    Likes Received:
    1,554
    So do I wait and let things mature not really most friends I have had I knew it right from the start and right about every time there maybe just me being a forward type person not sure but I say what I think. exact same as I have others approach me many times, I try to speak to a lot of people and have a speak to a stranger daily trait.
     
    #12
    Frank Sanoica likes this.
  13. Tex Dennis

    Tex Dennis Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 27, 2018
    Messages:
    911
    Likes Received:
    1,554
    Sue just do it that's what I would wish if it was me then let what happens just happen, I have a neighbor who is 87 now a lady I have called in the past at night and asked want to go check on a mama and calf at midnight, rainy and cold out then she simply said when you coming to get me? She drives in pasture I get the gates. Then my suggestion to get a hot donut in the next town 30 min drive, just me to ask there. We were back here bout 2am and very tired so slept till breakfast, checked on mama and went to eat. I am one to say what I feel or think. A few days ago I called at 9pm and said donut time and got a come on over. Just ask and don't put it off. Time is way to special to waste it. Best of luck to you in your friendship. I have a true friend there for sure.
     
    #13
    Ann Leonard and Frank Sanoica like this.
  14. Frank Sanoica

    Frank Sanoica Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Feb 21, 2016
    Messages:
    9,297
    Likes Received:
    10,619
    My very first internet friend was a retired trucker from California, living in Oklahoma. It was in a gun forum that we began conversing. He possessed a most uncanny ability to express himself when writing, far beyond the average or norm we usually encounter on-line. He had some materials and info he wanted to give me, and I suggested we meet up in Tulsa at the big gun Show there. His wife accompanied him, mine did not. He turned out to be a big guy, friendly, helpful. I noted he was having difficulty walking very far without resting.

    We continued with emails; one day he revealed his wife had died. And, that the cancer he had been treated for had returned, in his lower spine. I heard nothing more.

    He went by "James", never Jim. He was James McGee. Born, raised, worked all his life in California, in retirement after leaving there he easily revealed he had always hated it there.

    I missed him a lot, when it became clear he would never answer again.
    Frank
     
    #14
    Ann Leonard likes this.

Share This Page