Ike Willis alluded to this a number of times rather subliminally; I always dismissed his thoughts though I knew they were universally true, just didn't believe he could be so prescient as to predict his passing. He spoke of no longer being able to get out and about as he wished he could, but accepted still being happily alive and B.S.'ing with us. He remorsed not being able to go out and do some recreational target shooting; indeed, guns were not allowed where he resided. He was a "bigger man" than I. I know perfectly well that the ultimate precipice approaches me. Flowery talk makes it more palatable, does it not? I'm bound to croak fairly soon, given age and indications, is the obverse way of stating it. It troubles me, and having little religious belief, nor kids to confide in, nor relatives (other than my two nephews), who even vaguely "give a shit", that my "time" will affect very, very few folks. Is that a selfish view? My three nieces have not communicated in decades. Their brothers, my nephews, are nearly similarly as excluded as I, mainly because they both believe in me, a fact crucial to my own "beliefs". A dis-jointed and arguably dysfunctional family group, regrettable at least, deplorable at worst. So be that. My wife fears the state created for her everyday life, should I be gone. No wonder there. Resolution? Our family's humorous resolve was years ago to "find a well-endowed Cuban"...... this after my B.I.L.'s wife did just that, a fact widely dispersed about our dysfunctional family members. Story, humorous one at that, for another time. In finality, Ike showed he was ready for the inevitability. I, too, am close, but loathe it; maybe I'm weaker willed. Tell me, how are you all coping with thoughts of this inevitable "change"? Frank
Like Ike - I am ready too, although I would prefer to outlast Fabs for a week or so When you are confined with daily doses of pain - why would you not be ready ................... As for you Frank, I'm a little disappointed you feel this way, why even think about it, why not relish each day ? I have no family either but I have done worthwhile things in my life, not as much as I'd have liked to do but I won't dwell on the negative, absolutely no point to do so. I'm not being flippant, when I say take a look at the film 'Its a wonderful life' James Stewart this film had a profound affect on me and may just help you to see things differently Come on Frank, no ore gloomy thoughts, when your time comes you will be asleep, you like to sleep don't you Frank ...................................
I'm not worried about dying, just if it's painful and slow. Dying in my sleep is what I want. I won't know that I'm dead but my kids and loved ones will and that is the only thing that bothers me, I know what grief is like.
After working in Senior Healthcare for 4 1/2 years and going to some of the company healthcare centers, I can truly see how some (notice, I did say "some") older folks like us can get the feelings that Frank gets. Another thing, I'm not always a "positive" person. I think it's more "real" to think both positive and negative about things.
From my perspective the "inevitable" is just another fantastic journey that even my greatest hero, Don Quixote would not be able to place imaginations upon. Truth of the matter is that I have no feelings regarding death and can't remember when I actually did. I do suppose that some would regard it as a sociopathic schism but in reality I feel more for the battle scars and wounds that people gain on their journey toward the end than the final truce. When there are no longer any windmills to fight, inns to storm, or damsels to save then the war is over and there will be no call for a knight to be on the battle field, then it will be time to do the more valiant thing and lay the down sword and accept the truce. Such is life and the journey through it. The problem is, there are always giants, there are always castles to storm and the damsels in distress are too many to count so while I am still able to see the windmills my journey here will not be over. Ike fought his giants and cleared the battlefield so well he could no longer see anyone to fight but held the memories of battles long past. As a valiant knight would, it was time to call a truce..........................
I didn't want to die when I was young because I was still needed, didn't want to leave my kids motherless but thankfully now nobody really needs me, they'll miss me because they loved me but I'm really not necessary. My biggest fears are not me dying but someone I love dying.
@Frank Sanoica , you could also have 20 years left easily, you seem healthy enough...of course that's never a guarantee but the odds are slightly in your favor. Just make sure your wife isn't left with nothing... don't know your finances. Also, I wish there was nobody that loved me grieving me, that's what bothers me the most. Not my dying but those crying because I did. When I think of my death I picture it with me in bed, near death and my loved ones all crying and that can make me cry just thinking of that image...not for me, for them. Ideal scenario...I go to bed at night and don't wake up in the morning...I won't even know it.
When wife and I do go, we want to go together. Yes, together. Like in the movie, The Notebook. Each of us would have an extremely hard time living without the other.
That's sweet but unless you are both very old, that's not likely to happen unless one of you commits suicide. Most people that love their spouses have a very hard time after one dies, I sure did but I'm still here.
There's a good chance many of us are in our final "season of life" on this earth. As a Christian I believe my dying to this earth is just the gateway into eternal life with God. Of course how I make that passage from my earthly life to my eternal one is something I think about, because like everyone else I really would not like to die a prolonged painful earthly death. I've even talked to God about this subject discussing with Him the fact that I feel my earthly life has been one of a lot of suffering and if He wouldn't mind could He please just let me pass from this life in my sleep. Having said all this, while I am still on this earth I do believe I still have a purpose (even when I cannot see or feel it) or I would not be here anymore. So I try to live one day at a time and trust the Holy Spirit to show me the purpose for each day. Even if my purpose for that one day is nothing more than making someone smile, cooking a meal for my Honey, doing laundry, sharing a word or encouragement or saying a prayer for someone...no matter how small or large my task is for that day or this one...that is my purpose. Knowing that I'm in my final season of my life (no matter how short or long that season is) makes me think harder about not leaving any "unfinished business" on this earth when I do depart from it. Are there things I want my Family to know that I haven't shared, are there things I have left undone that need to be taken care of so no one else has to take care of these things if I do leave this earth soon? Does my Family know my "final wishes" and where to find important papers, etc.? Does my Family know my final wishes concerning medical "interference" or "help" if I'm dying or die? I think this is a good topic @Frank Sanoica because I feel sometimes that since Ike died there has been an "elephant in the room" that many of us have been tip toeing around. I'm glad you exposed him Frank.
All my ducks are in a row with all my final wishes. My kids know what to do, so that's not a concern of mine. My one and only concern is their grief, that's all my dying would cause. I also don't have problems discussing death, it's a fact of life and I'm kind of used to losing people from forums....I've probably known at least 40-50 in the last 11 years that have died. Family is different and I've lost my share but most were in their 80's and 90's except for my husband. One thing I will do probably if I'm terminal and in horrid pain is take an overdose, I might not have done this years ago but if I'm in my 70's or more if I get cancer etc I consider it as an option.
As a Christian, I know that there is something else. As an Anabaptist, I can't be certain of what may be in store for me, although I'm optimistic. That involves working our my salvation with fear and trembling. So I can't say that I am facing death unafraid. Having had cancer a couple of times, that's always a concern. At the same time, while I am not in a lot of pain regularly, things are a lot harder for me now than they used to be, and I am beginning to understand how someone might, at some point, welcome death. I'm not there, however.
Wether there is a heaven or not, that never causes me worry. Either way, I know I'm covered and that's my belief just like you have yours...that's my comfort.
Well.........we know we want to go to Heaven. It's our Belief, but Heaven is better than the other place.