I know once your last child moves out it takes a while to get use to the Empty Nest. It can be difficult to pick yourself up and move on with your life. For so many years raising your child was your main priority. Your entire life was surrounded around them. Now they have their own lives and are doing their own things. It is time to rediscover you and to do things you enjoy. So how do you spend your time now? How are things different now that your nest is empty? I started a new relationship shortly after my last child moved out. My partner and I do a lot of camping and travelling. When we are home we get lots of snuggle time watching movies. We really enjoy each other's company. I have grandchildren now which helps to fill that void. My grand daughter spends a few nights a week with us which is great. She is 7 years old and so much fun to have around. I don't see my grandson as often though because he lives farther way. When my children moved out I had no idea how I was going to go on. I was so depressed and lonely. I missed them terribly. Life does go on and even though there are still times I miss them being young, I am making the most of life and enjoying it.
When Champion shuts its bag plants down in Anaheim, California, my son was twenty, and about to be married, so the timing was right. Having to make a change in employment anyhow, I was no longer restricted to Southern California, so I accepted a job offer in Brownsville, Texas. I paid the rent up for six months (nearly $8,000) to give him a good start and I moved out on him. That six months not only gave him a nice place to begin his marriage but gave him the time to save up for something more affordable.
I spend most of my time with my husband, we love travelling, it's very entertaining. We are never bored.
I was getting pretty lonely so I adopted two cats that were old and needed a home. Now I am not lonely anymore as they love me to pieces.
My son has not left the nest exactly, but he is an adult with his own agenda as am I. Early on I had a dear friend that had two sons, one son had left to go on with his life and the other one had stayed to care for dad, up till dad died. I always had mixed feelings on this and thought that dad might have done better to have both sons go and marry, then there would be wives to help care not only for the children but him. The son that stayed with him loved him very much and was devoted, but when dad died he was devastated and lost for a long time. I always felt that dad was fortunate because he had more then one child. I decided that I was not going to do that to my son as I have only one child. Times are not always easy and what I decided I could offer was the ability for my son and his future wife to take my home to offset the cost of their loans from school. The house is paid and it would be better they be here to pay down the debt. As for me my plan is to get the land (as some of you have so inspired me) and get a cabin down so that I may enjoy my retirement in the way I love. I spend my days off of work on my photography and gardening. I follow my own muse and do the things I love. Occasionally we all do things together and I feel the love that is our clan. I think this works better then if I had a big place all to myself, or downsized and had a bunch in the bank. I would rather we all survive in the best form possible, if for nothing else the sake and well being of my future linage.
I think that a person does go through a transition when they find themselves living alone; but that does not have to be a bad time. If a person has developed friends in their life, then you still have people to go places and do things with, even if you are not married or living with someone. If you don't have friends, then it is a good time to make some new ones. It is actually nice to not have to define your life around everyone else's needs, and to just be able to do as you please, when you please. If you are married, then you and your spouse can spend more time doing things then when you were busy raising a family, and when you are single, there is plenty of time to learn new things that you are interested in, or just do things you enjoy. I have always loved horses, and after the kids were grown and gone, and I was divorced and living alone, I had more time for horseback riding. I was still working, but on my days off, I had a friend who lived in the country, and we went on long trail rides. I think that the main thing is to find interesting things to fill your time, and not just sit around and stare at the empty house. Even when the weather is bad, and we have to be inside, there are always things to do that keep me busy all the time. I always have something interesting that I want to learn more about, so Google is my best friend. Lately, I have been learning about such diverse things as dinosaurs, and how to make kefir, and what benefits there are to drinking it. Who knows what will catch my interest tomorrow ?
We have no kids so we are used to being just by ourselves. In fact, when we first hired a housemaid, we felt like losing our privacy although that was a long time ago. Now we are used to having other people in the house because sometimes we have 2 housemaids. Since we still work, we are occupied during the day and at night, the fatigue helps us get a good sleep. During weekends, we normally go out to the grocery or shop in the mall, watch movies. Last Saturday we watched a bad movie, it was a local movie that is drama. We only got in because we thought it was comedy. But anyway, there were only 2 inside the cinema... and that was us, hahahaaa. Next week, we have a brief holiday for the APEC (Asia Pacific Economic Conference) so we had booked in a beach resort by the Taal Lake where the small volcano is located. Despite not having kids, we do not have a boring day in our life. Just lucky maybe.