I have now been a member of SOF for 6 months. It feels like it could be 6 years! Initially, I resisted efforts put forth by good friends I had accumulated on another forum. They described the differences in atmosphere here, the good-will and lack of in-fighting we had become so accustomed to; the back-stabbing and one-upmanship prevailing there suggested to me that social talk forums were just not for me. I had by then been a member of many other forums, all dedicated to things technical, "aeronautical forums", a number of car forums, you get the idea. I continued to resist their best efforts for months. I'm sure they felt chagrined; I won't mention names, but MUST say, "thank you Ina"! I lurked, as they say. Saw little of the Mod/Admin intervention over every little detriment, such activity as I had become so accustomed to. So, I took the chance. Early on, I tried disguises. I probably made an ass of myself, in those friends' eyes, but no one said so. They really WERE my friends, I perceived. The avatars and usernames we all get so accustomed to seeing, were different here. I had previously "recognized" friends by their avatar! Actually perceived the individual as "personified" by it, even if that clearly made no sense. I've wondered if others are so inclined. Keeping the disguise, I felt as though I was remiss, so added an explanatory statement on my profile. No one ever mentioned it, so I dropped it; by then, the nonsense had given way to the truly more important work of keeping moving ahead in the forum. After 6 months now, a wonderful member of whom I know far less than I wish I might, PM'd me, asking if I knew of any Sanoicas in PA! I was thrilled and overwhelmed! AFAIK, there are very few Sanoicas around, most being located in the Chicago area, as you here know, I spent 30 years in the area. (even though I'm not truly a Sanoica). Hopefully, few of those old-timers pursuing to have read along this very boringly far, will have magnifiers handy, but I must always be truthful. I feel my Mother knows still, if I lie. Surprised, and excited, I found acceptance here, not quickly, which is to be expected, but the warm feeling of acceptance is proven in response to one's work. You folks have responded in a way I find gratifying. Now, I know I'm getting "mushy". So, I'll return to my usual sarcastic, self-ingratiating, despicable, BUT unpredictable way now by leaving it up to you, to figger out WTH I mean! Frank
I knew who you were the minute I saw you on here. Although by the time you joined that other forum I was banned ( my 3rd or 4th ban) I do read it and knew your style of writing. Anyway, glad you are happy here. I doubt you've been hurt more than I have been on forums but I guess I ask for it sometimes.
@Chrissy Page "I doubt you've been hurt more than I have been on forums" The pain is mental, Chrissy. It hit me once very seriously in a car forum, real good bunch of guys, knowledgeable and helpful, but had a Mod who was retired U.S. Navy of high rank. That fact spelled trouble, as it was HIS WAY, or NO WAY. By now you all know me well enough to be aware that when disparaged or "used", I fight back rather than back off. I told the Mod exactly how and why I believed what I did, forget now the actual issue, and for that he kicked me out. One member who became a good internet friend, a Pharmacist in Utah, spoke up in my behalf, knowing others as well as he, felt I had been grossly maligned, but military-style prevailed; I was gone. I was surprised to learn several members quit that forum due to that event. It was then that I realized how much mental pain such activity could cause, but the bright side was that I learned there can be very real dedication shown between folks who are still essentially faceless strangers. Here I go, talking too much again! Frank
It's really the nature of forums, though I'm surprised that it happened to you on a car forum. It's usually the games people play on forums and once youre sucked into that, it follows you unless you go somewhere that nobody knows you. Maybe if forums didn't have PMs it wouldn't get so bad because it's always what goes on behind the scenes and is played out on the forum by certain members. These cliques change members from time to time and once someone can be your ally and the next minute your enemy. It's all very complicated, lol. I always think of that song by Joe South..."the Games People Play" I used to fight back but now I just delete my acct. when it comes down to it when you fight back, seems the people that you were friends with back away and even turn on you. I don't really care anymore, I say what I'm feeling now on a forum and if it doesn't sit well with some, I'm sorry. I can't be friends with everyone and just because you don't like someone doesn't mean I won't talk to them. I still screw up but I'm trying very hard not to get caught up in the crap. It's the worst on that other forum, the one where you and I and lots of others were banned. It's not even admin that's to blame but the mod he has. She seems to be running the show and it's gone downhill a lot. They even had secret mods I found out not too long ago but it was discontinued because some abused it. They were there to stop spammers but who likes a forum that has secret anything?
Well I don't anymore or at least try not to but as you can see on the mug that's me to a T....almost.
My problem is that I'm a skeptical Pollyanna who wants to right every wrong but will be wrong myself many times. I feel a need to fight bullies, defend the bullied but of course someone is always hurt in the end. I'm argumentative but also very sensitive. I'm moderate in my views so can see that both sides are wrong sometimes and I despise ugliness and hate myself when I've had to get ugly. I also like to joke around and have fun, go off topic, spill my guts and be too honest at times. No wonder I get banned a lot. Forgot to add flirt but that's because I don't on here. All you handsome men are married.
I haven't belonged to that other forum so many of y'all have been members of, but I've had a few run ins online, some of them pretty nasty. I'm glad we've found a safe place here where we can speak openly and have a good time without the (for the most part) drama I've seen elsewhere.
Lol, I thought that only that other forum that most of us have been banned from was the nastiest. True that I've lurked on some political ones that are really bad. Almost anything goes.
Some of the worst I've found have been 'helping' forums/sites. I used to belong to quite a few, because I enjoy helping others when I can, and I've also needed help at times. There are some really nasty people on some of the sites. The ones I was on no longer exist, but that's where I picked up my stalker, so now I'm extra cautious about which sites I visit, what information I divulge, and with whom I interact.
Yikes, Diane. Thankfully it's never gotten to stalking just some hurts in my case, but I'm sensitive.
There are people who aren't happy unless they're harassing/harming others, and they can sense who is sensitive and susceptible, and aim right for them. Nowadays, I steer clear of anyone who seems motivated in that direction, and usually just ignore those who just give me a bad feeling.