What questions would you not like others to ask you? It used to be my age. I used to lie about how old I was in my 20s. But as I advance in maturity, and in wisdom through experiences (comes with age, thankfully) I am proud of my seniority. Secrecy about my time on earth isn't my best kept hide from telling anymore. I don't make people guess and fish some "good guesses" anymore. I straight away give them the facts. And I delight in the surprised wonder people tell me I look like "one of the sisters" among my adult daughters. I think that's just one of the reasons why I'm happy to tell people my fifty-three years of life. Well, that's vanity I have to deal with for now.
Lately, that question is, "Why are you changing so much?" My grandchildren have always seen me as a business woman / student / homebody type of person that was focused on raising them, and getting ahead. My husband has been gone for almost six months now, and they are upset with many of the things I have chosen to do in my new life. As a widow, I am learning how to be single, and they do not see any reason to change from what they have always known. But, I'm going to do what "I" want to do now.
It's just been very recent that your husband has passed on. Love, comfort and peace to you in your times of grief @Ina I. Wonder May the grace of God be with you all your days. Go for your desire being single again, Ina! Why are your loved ones opposed to the path you are choosing to do? Dream on. Let us cheer you on, Ina! Perhaps, you could encourage many of us here about what to do for career/education/civic work path we might consider for ourselves?
@Avigail David, I know that I am partly to blame for my grand children's objections. I lost my oldest son back in 1993, and my husband and I raised his daughter and son, who are now 31 and 27. We also raised another granddaughter after the death of her mother. The three grandchildren then watched me care for both of my in-laws, and my parents through their deaths. Then I cared for my youngest son, and my husband last year before their deaths. I was first married at 13, and I was a mother eleven months later, so I have never been single with no obligations. Now, I want a different lifestyle, and the rest of my family see it as going wild, and now they feel they don't know who this other 63 year old person is. I want to travel. I have already gone to visit Yvonne Smith, the angel that helped me through last year, and I have set up three more trips across this country. I just sold one four bedroom home, and I am pretty sure I will be selling this old 2500 sq. ft. log cabin. The family is not happy about this at all. But I want to move away from Houston, and I want to move to a national forest about 100 miles North of where I am now. I have a brother, and friends living in that area. The kids each want me to live with them, but I am tired of caring for a houseful of people, as well as the household. So to them I am going wild.
Thank you for filling me in. I understand from the beginning of your new journey. Yes, I read your post about your son. I have commented and you have been in my thoughts ever since, Ina. I'd do the same with my life-- when the right time for me comes. I am truly happy for your dreams and wishes of travel and doing something "wild". 63 isn't old, mind you! I'm very sure that your brother and long-time friends will be very glad to see you and be with them soon. I will be thinking of you. Would you let us know when you start traveling and settling in? Peace and safety to you and families, Ina.
When it comes to my online activities, I tend to leave many questions unasked because in the circles I move people tend to have prejudices about one's age, marital status, place you come from and else. However age, marital status and associated "social tags" were at first of my concern, firstly because people began to call me Mrs. when I was only 13 years old and this was to me synonym for looking older than I was. Secondly because I felt really older when being 27 I wasn't married yet nor had a least a boyfriend to avoid being tagged as and "old maid." As time went by, I learned to accept my age and like to tell people I was older than I'm really, in fact adding a hundred years to my real age, actually 55. Today I don't care to tell this, nor that I'm still single and not wanting to marry or be engaged in a relationship because time taught me that I'm happier with life as it came, than if I would go in the traditional way marrying someone just to avoid the "old maid" epithet. Curiously, accepting my age and spinsterhood has brought unexpected events to my life, as hearing people say I look younger that I'm really, or that I'm so pretty that they couldn't understand why I haven't married and wanting to marry me, haha No way, I'm happy being single, unless otherwise is noted... nobody knows if someday my heart changes of mind
@Carlota Clemens, on your general outline, you ended up with the life I wished for from about the age of seven when I first started school. I wanted to grow up and be an "old maid school librarian". But my father pulled me out of school at the end of the fifth grade, and I didn't get to go back to school until I was 35. I didn't give up on that dream until my father married me off to someone 30 years my elder, and finally when my first child was born. So t have never been single with no defendants. @Avigail David, Yvonne was my first trip. I have set up three more for the fall. My second will be to take my oldest step daughter to Lousianna for a weekend of luxury and pampering, and whatever bingo games we might find. She nor I have ever done anything of this sort, and I want build our relationship to a higher level. The third will be to Las Vegas to see some of the high life I've only heard about. I've had a relationship with a young lady that dated my youngest son when she was 19. I'm taking her there for her 46 birthday. Last, but far from the least, is a trip to the Northwest to visit another friend's two sons. She is willing to let me vicariously enjoy her ability to see her son's. And yes I'll be taking pictures, so that I can show you "guys" what's going on as we go.
Ina you have done your good dead by taking care of all of the family members as they made their transition. I have a family member that has had a similar situation. It is your time to enjoy your life and have the fun you want in the time you have.
Makes me happy to hearing when someone don't give up on their dreams and get to make them true, probably because I gave up on some that would made a difference to me. However I am still surprised every time I learn of parents making the decisions one we had to make. True, there were different times those in which were raised, but still hard to accept.
I still grit my teeth when asked quite accusingly 'I can't understand why you have never re married'. The reasons why cover many areas all of which I have no wish to share trying to answer that kind of question.
I would have no issiue if someone asked me about my ag, I am not ashamed to say that I am fifty. Now if somoene wanted to ask me why I never married I may not like the question too much. That can be a bit too personal a queston to brooch with people. Its bad enough when I go to the doctor and they ask personal questions such as is there a possibility that your pregnant. That can also be mild compared to some of the other questoins that can come up.
A question I wouldn't like being asked is if I love my wife. It would only make me mad if my wife asked me that. Not because I don't love her, but because I do with all my might, and I hope that she knows that, especially because I tell it to her every day. That question, from her, would mean that she is unsure about our relationship, even after all these years.
I don't really mind any questions as long as they are honest and intelligent. I think the ones that irritate me the most are the idiotic questions you get in job interviews and anything that has been dreamt up by marketing consultants. Example: Interviewer: what kind of books do you read? Me: ones with words in, as a rule. Luckily, I wasn't interested in the job.