Regrets: I've Had A Few

Discussion in 'Other Reminiscences' started by Craig Swanson, Mar 22, 2020.

  1. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Greeter
    Staff Member Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    May 7, 2019
    Messages:
    3,968
    Likes Received:
    4,159
    I regret having to spend most of my childhood in a strict boarding school. I regret living most of my life with insomnia. I regret some of my life choices. However, my biggest regret was being estranged from my cousins for decades. We were more like siblings than cousins. We were at each others places almost ever week. Did everything together that siblings w'd do. Went to the (flicks) movie cinema, drive in, swimming, picnicking, camping.. everything. We watched each other growing up.Then, suddenly, in my late teens we stopped seeing each other. No regular visits to our respective homes. Not even birthday or Christmas cards. Nothing. It was like they ceased to exist and I had no idea what was going on. Many years later my brother and I finally heard the truth. My mother and her brother had had an acrimonious falling out over his new wife. This resulted in our cousins being banned from having anything to do with my brother and I. Here were two grown adults acting like children and who suffered.. us innocents.
     
    #1
    Last edited: Mar 23, 2020 at 5:26 AM
  2. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    6,607
    Likes Received:
    5,001
    I really, really wish I'd met my wife years before I did. I regret not finishing college. I regret no taking better paying jobs, but my experience and education didn't call for better paying. I also regret not staying with a job longer than I did, but then again...……..
     
    #2
    Micki Pembroke likes this.
  3. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    14,516
    Likes Received:
    22,710
    My experience was much the same, only for different reasons. My best friends, Calvin, Robert, and Jerry, although we were all from different families, were first cousins. Calvin and I lived on the same road, separated only by cornfields, while Jerry was on a parallel road to the south, and Robert was on a parallel road to the north, all within a mile or so of one another. Calvin and I were born a few hours apart, but his birthday was a day before mine because he was born before midnight. There were a few others, including a couple of other cousins, who were with us sometimes, but it was usually just the four of us. We also hung out in school, from K-8th grade, although we had other friends there too. Except for Boy Scouts, which they didn't take part in, we were together all summer.

    That all changed when we started high school in another town. Although we went to the same school, we rarely saw one another anymore. I can't remember being in any of the same classes they were in, and the summer after 9th grade, I worked on the staff of a Boy Scout camp, and I don't know if Calvin, Robert, and Jerry hung out together or not. By 10th grade, cars opened up a whole other world. There was no falling out, and the separation wasn't even gradual. When we did see one another, we had nothing in common. I was in the drama club, while Calvin was in some agricultural group, Robert was doing sports, and Jerry's being a grade behind us made more of a difference in high school than it did in elementary school.

    Calvin joined the army after high school and was discharged in Germany, and his sister tells me he has returned to the United States only a couple of times. I see Robert and Jerry sometimes when I return to Wallace, as they are both still living there, but we don't have much in common. I think Jerry and I could still carry on a good conversation but we haven't had much of a chance.
     
    #3
    Micki Pembroke and Craig Swanson like this.
  4. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Greeter
    Staff Member Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    May 7, 2019
    Messages:
    3,968
    Likes Received:
    4,159
    Since my uncle's funeral.. to which my brother and I were not invited so we did not know of his death.. we cousins have had a sort of a reunion and the odd get together, but we are no where near as close as we were as kids. Three decades apart killed that. Besides they now have their own families and both live far away from us. Before my mother died I approached her about the estrangement of us cousins caused by her and her own brother. She was curt in her reply.. "dont want to talk about it".
     
    #4
  5. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,679
    Likes Received:
    6,196
    You did not cause any of these incidents - therefore you should have no regret. :)
     
    #5
    Micki Pembroke and Yvonne Smith like this.
  6. Gloria Mitchell

    Gloria Mitchell Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2017
    Messages:
    3,679
    Likes Received:
    6,196
    Regrets- No, however three are things I wish I had done differently.
     
    #6
    Micki Pembroke likes this.
  7. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    12,963
    Likes Received:
    15,387
    Exactly the same for me, I loved my cousin so much - I wish I could find her, I've tried ……
    It was my childhood estrangement not my choice, but I do regret not trying to find her sooner
     
    #7
    Micki Pembroke and Craig Swanson like this.
  8. Craig Swanson

    Craig Swanson Greeter
    Staff Member Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    May 7, 2019
    Messages:
    3,968
    Likes Received:
    4,159
    The regret was being deprived from seeing my cousins for 3 decades.
     
    #8
    Ken Anderson and Micki Pembroke like this.
  9. Lois Winters

    Lois Winters Greeter
    Staff Member Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2019
    Messages:
    2,702
    Likes Received:
    3,806
    Too many to mention.
     
    #9
    Micki Pembroke likes this.
  10. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2018
    Messages:
    4,856
    Likes Received:
    9,276
    Not asking my father more questions about his family history while he was alive. I tried to encourage him to make an audio tape of his childhood memories once, but he never got around to it. I think he would have done it if I had asked specific questions, but I didn't know what questions to ask, until now. Does that make sense? ;)
     
    #10
  11. Al Amoling

    Al Amoling Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2016
    Messages:
    1,333
    Likes Received:
    2,845
    I have to agree with you @Nancy Hart not getting more history from dad and mom is my regret.
     
    #11
  12. Yvonne Smith

    Yvonne Smith Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    8,250
    Likes Received:
    14,200
    That makes total sense to me, @Nancy Hart , and I feel the same way about wishing I had asked my parents more. My mom and dad both told me a few stories about their childhood, but there are huge gaps that I wish I knew more about, especially, since we had the ancestry and 23&Me dna testing done.
    It turned out that people I thought were good friends of the family are actually relatives, and I just didn’t know that. It makes me happy to discover it, but I still wish that I had known about it sooner.
    Whatever my folks shared, they did, and I really never thought to ask more questions when they were still alive, and now, it is far too late.
    I started writing things down that I remembered from my childhood, and stories that my mom and dad told me, so hopefully, my kids wont have the same regrets about this as I had.
     
    #12
  13. Nancy Hart

    Nancy Hart Very Well-Known Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2018
    Messages:
    4,856
    Likes Received:
    9,276
    Similar thing about old pictures. I found a bunch of them, with people in them, and have no idea who they are. :(
     
    #13
  14. Bill Boggs

    Bill Boggs Veteran Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    May 13, 2015
    Messages:
    3,580
    Likes Received:
    4,748
    I have many regrets.
     
    #14

Share This Page