The Strange Ways in Which a Man's Brain Works

This story was actually written by my husband after a shocking experience that he had early one morning.
It is repeated here as a really fine example of how a husband can see things so very differently than his wife does, sometimes.
Here is what he wrote :

Twas a cool morning getting out of bed this morning My brain was still not really in first gear and not ready to even think about difficult things like the theory of relativity or possums.
Bare feet and no glasses are a morning test for even the most experienced of us on the journey to play revelee to the porcelain goddess, because that is where it all happened.

Barely stepping into the bathroom I saw, with an almost blind left eye, a very large possum looking thing lurking in the bathtub. " For the love of pete," I thought, "the thing must weigh at least 40 pounds or more as large as it is!!" Forgetting the original morning calling I instantly allowed the adrenaline to consume my body and brain. Like a ninja I stealthily stepped backward a foot or two while at the same time deciding my weapon of choice. The Broom!! Flashes of photographs of me on the cover of "Bubba's, gotta kill somethin',' magazine. Or, maybe even on a Peta's most wanted poster of me standing, with my bloodied broom in hand, over the grizzly beast from Hades!
Then, the eyes and brain cleared a bit and I could see the animal for what it was!

A derned half dead Boston Fern my wife put in the bathtub the night before so she could soak it.
Slightly embarassed, I did don my glasses, just so I could make sure. Yup, a Boston Fern. No cover of a magazine, no wanted poster, no bloody broom. Worst of all, the call for revelee came back but I couldn't find that cowardly bugle boy for an hour after the incident! Derned Boston Fern,.....no photos......no broom...no possum....I hate possums!

Life is interesting at our house..............Any possums in your bathtub?

 

This seemed like a good place to add another (true) tale about a possum.
I think that I might have mentioned somewhere along the line that we have a resident o'possum who lives around here, and usually wanders around the back yard and even up onto the porch sometimes late at night.
Well, tonight when I let the three dogs out for their last promenade around the yard, it just so happened that Mr. Possum was right outside of the back door and along side of the house looking for leftovers.
Tootsie was naturally in her best Guard Dog mode, and immediately went after him. Elise froze in place and stared at this strange creature with all of the teeth and was not about to help Tootsie remove the possum. She has probably never seen a possum before, and had no interest in learning more about one.
Chipper, all unknowing of any problems at all, just went on about his nightly business. (Sometimes being half blind and deaf is probably a blessing)
Anyway, the poor possum was terrified, lying there on his side , gasping and making possum-crying sounds. I called Tootsie away and told her that he was harmless and to leave him alone, which she did, content in the knowledge that she had done her duty as a guard dog and protected Chipper and Elise.
Once Tootsie moved away, then Elise followed close beside her, just in case the possum did prove to be dangerous, and they went out in the back yard and finished their nightly business and then headed for the back door to come back inside.
Chipper had no clues that he had been saved from a fearsome monster; but I am pretty sure that both Elise and the possum were glad when the dogs came back inside for the night.

 

The opossum is an interesting little creature, for sure. As @Frank Sanoica pointed out, they have the sharpest sharky-looking teeth ever, and they look like they would be a very vicious little critter, and even more-so when they start that weaving and hissing at you with their teeth bared.
Although they look like some kind of an overgrown furry rat, they are not a rodent at all, and instead they are a marsupial, like the kangaroo.

The possum you found must have just been hit by a car right before you arrived on the scene, @Babs Hunt , for it to still been having live babies.
Many years ago, back when I was selling insurance, and on the road every day, I found a baby possum all alone and sitting in the middle of the road as I drove around a curve.
I had never seen a baby one before, and probably only dead ones on the side of the road, so I stopped and went back to rescue him. He saw me, and was sitting up , hissing and weaving at me, with those sharp little teeth bared, and I was afraid to try and pick him up. I dumped out my container of soda pop and scooped him up in the empty cup and took him home in that.
Since he was "Found On Roadside (almost) Dead" , I named him "Edsel" , after the old slogan about Fords. We called him Ed, and he lived for at least a couple of weeks , hissing at me every time I fed him with the tiny baby-bottle of warmed milk. He seemed like he was doing fine; but one morning he was just dead in his little blanket, so I don't know what went wrong; but my efforts at raising a baby possum didn't work out either.

 

I was going to post this in the gardening thread; but after careful consideration, I think that maybe it fits best right here in this thread.

THE NEW SOLDERING IRON......

I mostly use the cheaper planstic potting containers for planting my lettuce, cucumber, and tomato starts outside because we do not have a lot of sunshine, and the trees that block the sun also make roots all over so it is almost impossible to dig in the ground and plant anything.
The plastic containers are fine inside where I can control how much water they receive; but once they are outside, then they will fill up and not drain because there are no drain holes in the plastic containers. After it rains, I have to go along and turn all of the containers on their side and let the water run back out.

I thought about asking @Bobby Cole if he could take his screw gun and just drill some holes in all of the outside containers for me; but he has been busy helping his friend working on the house he is fixing up to sell, and Bobby just does not have the free time to come and drill all of those holes for me.
My next thought was that if I had a soldering iron, then I could just melt the holes in the bottom of the containers myself, and that would take care of the whole situation.
So....... I asked Bobby if he would help me to pick out a cheap soldering iron, just the most basic one he could find, and he said that he would check out Walmart or Harbor Freight and see which one had the best deal.

After looking around, Bobby said that he knew what we should do ! He would give me his OLD soldering iron, and he could get a new, nicer one for himself.
And that, my friends, is the story of how Bobby is getting a new soldering iron.......

 

When I was in Texas I had four cats, and all of them completely ignored the possum that was eating from the same bowl they were. Had it been another cat, they would have acted like the world was ending.