The Traffic Ticket

Traffic ticket

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."
The driver says, "Goodness, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control"
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once!!?"
The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher."
As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"
The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine."
The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."
The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."
And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??"
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"
"Only when he's been drinking."

 

Good one louise

 

Love it

 

ROFLOL

 

My co-worker, Bruce, and I built a large machine for Dana Corp. in Churubusco, Indiana, travelling weekly from our homes in Chicago, back and forth, 180 miles. Finally, our home plant in Chicago closed, I quit the Co., moving out West, while Bruce moved to Churubusco, pop. 700, and being a rebel, kept his Illinois license plates. About 2 years later, his car parked outside a vendors shop, he came out to find a cop writing a ticket, expired license plates. Along comes another cop car, the Chief of Police, who interviews Bruce, determining he is an Indiana resident. Tells the flunkie cop to write another ticket: "No license plates".

Bruce demands a jury trial of the J.P. facing him. Eyebrows upraised, he requires a $100 bond be posted. A year goes by, during which Bruce went to see the J.P., asked what happened to the case? Confounded their legal system when Bruce explained his 2 tickets were incompatible: it is physically impossible to have a car with "expired plates" AND "no plates" at the same time!

They returned his hundred bucks!
Frank

 

@Ken Anderson
This reminds me of one or two similar dilemmas. One which has always troubled me is: supposing a guy (or couple) lives out of a motorhome, with no permanent address, does not park it in rental space, and uses no mailing address, how does he obtain a drivers license, when most states require a permanent address? Can they reasonably deny the license? And what state, if he CAN obtain the license there, should he choose?

The other concerns the multitude of Canadians who spend 6 months here in Arizona, living out of RVs, then return to Canada when warm weather there prevails? How do they handle the question of "residency"? Worse, it has been proposed (since "shelved") to require them to legally register their RVs here since their presence exceeds the legal limitation for "vacationing"; registering here would likely be a revenue-driven thing, given that vehicles classify as "real property" and are taxed as such, higher value, higher tax.

The number of winter visitors here, "snowbirds", is estimated to be in the thousands.
Frank