Those That Don't Want To Change And Those That Do

Discussion in 'Off-Topic Discussions' started by Cody Fousnaugh, Feb 1, 2021.

  1. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    The old saying, "you can take a horse to water, but you can't make it drink", is so very, very true. Well, that is, unless the horse is very thirsty. LOL

    In my life, I've always found myself trying to change people's feelings about this or that. Sometimes it worked out fine and the person was very willing to change.

    My wife, when I met her, being one. With a few changes, including learning rodeo lingo, she fit into the "rodeo family" very, very well. However, her mother said to me, "why can't your rodeo friends accept her just the way she is?" Wife and I both knew they wouldn't and my wife was more than willing to learn from me and change. For instance, the old pointed boots hit the closet floor and bought her a pair of black Roper boots. Nothing wrong with pointed boots, but the slip-on and lace-up Ropers were very popular then (2000).

    But, then again, trying to change people's minds about some things just don't work. Especially if they don't want to. This is MY learning experiences. No matter what it is, if a person(s) don't want to change their minds about something, the more pushed into it, the less chance they will want to.

    Do you try, and sometimes too hard, to change people feelings about certain things? Do you get frustrated when they resist?
     
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  2. Susan Paynter

    Susan Paynter Very Well-Known Member
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    Adapting to change requires flexibility.

    How Well Do we Adapt to Change?
    How do we respond when facing change?
    Questions we ask ourselves all the time. Do we want to change?
    Environment, age and circumstances play a big role in flexibility n accepting change.

    Accept the change as positive?
    See the change as an opportunity
    Take into account other people’s concerns?
    Admit personal mistakes, learn from them, and move on?
    Remain optimistic?
     
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  3. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    My wife's last husband was both a cigarette smoke, and somewhat of a heavy one at that, and a heavy drinker. Because of her asthma, she had to use an inhaler often. His drinking got him put in jail a few times.

    She tried to help him and he fully refused/resisted. She even seen a therapist who, outright told her "he's going to bring you down with himself". After 13 years, she divorced him and he ended up committing suicide with pills.
     
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  4. Susan Paynter

    Susan Paynter Very Well-Known Member
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    It sure caused her a lot of grief and trauma. Some people see the issue right away and some find it hard to see the truth.

    I am glad she is in a better place now.
     
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  5. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    I sum it all up to this.
    Square peg do not fit in round hole.
    No matter what you do if it does not happen naturaly the fit is not the same.;)
     
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  6. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    I must be pretty flexible because I have successfully made many changes in my life.
     
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  7. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
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    I think is talking about changing others thoughts and feelings.
     
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  8. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Well, neither of us grew up on, or ever worked on a ranch, but we sure know what cattle ranching is about. Have watched a lot of documentaries about it. We know what branding and vaccinating calves is all about and totally understand why it's done the way it's done. At our age, we probably couldn't help, but we could stand and watch. I'd sure have my digital camera going.
     
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  9. Tex Dennis

    Tex Dennis Veteran Member
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    Pretty well satisfied with things here if this virus mess would just go away well I was prior to election now very unsure of the future
     
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  10. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    If the man who wanted to marry me wanted to change me first, I'd tell him to hit the road, Jack.
     
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  11. Tex Dennis

    Tex Dennis Veteran Member
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    My best & closest friend told me one time why we have got along so well and so long was I did not try to change her just accepted they way she was and went with it, of course it did help we had so much in common and both of us are the types we need our time ourselves, never 1 serious misunderstanding in many years, many times do not agree but talk to each other and work thing out mutually, then she was attacked and handicapped from it for life (92 days in hospital and never walk again), the bond grew tighter. We admit we both need each other. For instance today I had 3 doctor's appointments starting my new year check ups, at the last office the doctor came in smiling and said I had a call and a message, (had to skip my breakfast due to tests fasting) the note said meals cooked hurry back waiting on you hope all ok as I was starving by then so a breakfast for lunch and steak for supper, my favorites. So accept change heck no just leave well enough be.
     
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  12. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Well, Shirley, that's you. But, thankfully, my wife wanted to change and didn't put up any kind of fuss over changing. I really couldn't believe that she had so much interest in learning about rodeo and looked so great wearing western attire, including a cowboy hat. Really amazed me.
    Actually, she is the only member of her family that owns, and knows how to shoot, a handgun and rifle. She has both.
     
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  13. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    That's fine, but if a person really, really wants to change, but just hasn't met the right person to help that change along? This was my wife. For the last 20, almost 21, years together, we've done darn near everything together. Our boat doesn't go on the water without both of us on it. We have our "personal time" when she is on her laptop computer and I'm on the desktop computer, but that's pretty much it.
     
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  14. Lon Tanner

    Lon Tanner Supreme Member
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    Some of us change automatically without conscious effort. We do this when we accommodate others or our environment changes.
     
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  15. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    For my wife, it was both. For me, and to be accepted by my rodeo friends, and going to rodeos with me. Learning the events and the lingo.
     
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    Last edited: Feb 2, 2021

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