You read it right, sex for the seniors in the nursing home is this thread all about. Last night I had read an article about the issue of nursing home patients having a relationship. And some of those relationship ended in bed... have sex. And the article added that maybe they use viagra. One admin officer of a nursing home confided that they tolerate such a thing because relationship gives spice to the life of the inmates.So what if they are 80 years old? What's important is that they enjoy what they are doing. The only problem with that is some of the patients are married and so it is not appropriate for them to have a relationship with another person.
I need more details to form an opinion. Who's providing the Viagra? Are the ones that are supposedly cheating and married also ones that have dementia? I could excuse that. If my husband was in a home because of dementia and didn't even know who I was when I visited, I would turn a blind eye to it. It wouldn't be easy but I'd have some comfort that he was at least enjoying something. If they aren't married and have no health issues that sex or Viagra would make worse, then I say let them be happy. Are they mostly relationships with some sex or is it a few horny 80 yr olds hitting on the senile women? I guess with what I know I'll say it depends.
@Chrissy Page, here is the link to that article that I read in New York Times (the supplement) - http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/13/nyregion/too-old-for-sex-not-at-this-nursing-home.html?_r=0 I really find it interesting, not the co-habitation per se but the motivation of those seniors who I think are not that strong for sex anymore since they are in the nursing home. On the other hand, isn't it a new kind of hope to be having sex in that age?
Thanks for the link, I'll read it in a minute. Being strong enough depends on the illness and the age. The woman just has to lay there, that's not too hard. I think in today's world men are able to have sex in their 80's with a little help. Edit: read the article and of course it's not a clear cut yes or no. Main issues are consent, being married and having the spouse still at home while you're in the nursing home with dementia and can't really even recognize your husband. In this case if I was the one at home and my spouse was in the care facility I would give my blessing but not everyone feels the same way. Probably more work for staff and although children should let their aging parents do what they want regarding sex, it's not easy. I say whatever makes the time they have left a little better is a good thing.
This is a true story, told to me by the grandson of the elderly gentleman. "Mama got a call to go to the nursing home. When she got there the director told her, "Miss D, your father has been caught in bed with a woman, Miss A. " "Again!" We can't have that." So they all had a meeting. Miss A told the director, "It's none of your business what man I have in my bed!" "You just keep your nose out of it!" He said, "Grandpa was sitting there with his one tooth shining, grinning like a possum." I 'bout laughed my head off.
It is true that srx happens in nursing homes among unmarried people. And i am uncomfortable with sex happening in a nursing home. It is an inappropriate place to have it.
But that's where they live. It is their home, no? If it's just a temporary hospital type situation than my answer would be different.
Before my mother was hit by a stroke 5 years ago, we had committed her to a nursing home because the problem with her is her wanderlust. She would get out of the house and roam anywhere. She was sane but the problem is that she seemed to have lost her sense of responsibility. Sometimes she would spend the night out. When the time came that she didn't come home for week, my siblings and I held a meeting regarding the issue. And we were one in saying that she should be in a nursing home. She stayed in the nursing home for several years. It is a big house with maybe 7 or 8 big bedrooms. It is a mix of male and female but old women outnumber the men. We regularly visit during weekends so we already know the other housemates. One time there was a new housemate, an old man with a smiling face. I was with my sister then. I was aghast to hear one patient telling my sister that the smiling face guy has the hots for my mother. What? Has the hots? Well, I hope you know what I mean. My sister talked to the director and had requested that the smiling face guy should not be allowed to come near my mother.
When I was in rehab for two weeks I was in a nursing home. But, we were in a different part than were the permanent residents. I have to admit, I kinda liked it, except for the hour of workouts twice a day. The food was good, IMO, and someone looked after the laundry and housekeeping. Sex sure wasn't on my mind then.
Yes, I wouldn't want that either but that's not what I was talking about. Problem is too there are different types of Dementia and someone I know has Frontal Temporal Dementia and they kind of tend to act out and do inappropriate things. I'm not suggesting a free for all love in at nursing homes but if 2 consenting adults do it and the nursing home has a good handle on it. I'm fine with it.
It does sound good but the reason for being there isn't, so just do your own laundry and eat your own crappy food. I'm sure sex was the last thing on your mind, if it was they would probably restrain you. I've been a visitor in too many hospitals when my husband was in them. Older patients don't handle lots of the drugs well and tend to hallucinate and act out, not just sexually but aggressively, pulling out IVs, etc.