I've been approached by pan handlers etc. I'm sure most have. Usually if they say "ma'am" or something similar and you ignore them, they'll leave you alone. I do have empathy for some of these people who may be mentally ill. But today I went into a drug store just to buy pens and was then going to go next door to the new health food store. As I exited the drug store this younger woman stated "ma'am" I kept walking. Louder "ma'am" and then even louder "ARE YOU IGNORING ME" Yes I am. But I wonder if someone told her that line gets more of a response. I kept walking never turning back then did a quick back look and noted she was walking in my general direction but then stopped a man. I got in my car and was afraid I'd have to cancel my trip into this store but she started walking back toward the drug store, didn't look back so I quickly walked into the health food store. This woman actually scared me and I checked at the window a few times while in the store to be sure she was not around my car and watched for her as I left but didn't see her. What are some of your experiences with these types of people? She was about the most aggressive I've dealt with.
That's a little too scary for me, especially in today's world where a nut will attack you with a hammer or whatever is available. She was obviously mental and off her meds or on wrong ones or illegal ones. I would have mentioned it in the health food store....maybe they already know of her or will keep an eye out and call someone if she goes too far. Ive never encountered anyone that bad or even close. Sometimes I give them something, sometimes I don't. It depends if I have money on hand and my gut feeling.
Beggars usually wear ragged clothes with unkempt look. But in the business district where I work, panhandlers are sometimes dressed well and some even have makeup. There was this woman of about 30 who approached me one time. She was carrying a toddler. Her spiel was that she lost her wallet and she has no fare money to go home. Our of pity, I gave her an amount that probably would be sufficient for her travel. I didn't know that I was duped by that woman. After some weeks, I was walking in the secondary road near our office one late afternoon when I spotted that same woman walking with another woman. They were both carrying a toddler. I hastened my pace so I was now walking behind them. And that's when I heard their dialogue that they hired those toddlers for props to their gimmick. And that they were begging since morning and maybe they can take a break and treat those toddlers to a fast food snack.
Anyone see the movie "Thunderbolt and Lightfoot"? Remember the scene in the old school house, where the tourist couple come in, see the two hero's sitting there looking at them, not saying a word. They intimidate the man tourist so bad, he starts giving them whatever he has. I was in a bar one morning when some guy comes in and sits near me. We were the only two customers at that hour. The guy asks me for a cigarette. I told him I didn't smoke. Then he asks if I could 'loan' him enough for a pack. I said no, and then the bartender put his newspaper down and came over, ordered the guy out, telling him not to come back. Once, a guy approached my dad as he was getting out of his car on a downtown street. He wanted some money because he said he hadn't ate in two days. There was a restaurant two doors from there, so dad took him there and bought him all he could eat. The man was reluctant to go at first. He probably really wanted money for bum wine.
Kitty, since you did not interact with her, you are only imagining her intentions. A woman would appear less threatening than a man, in the same situation. Ma'am is an acceptable and respectful term. Her second question was a legitimate one. Maybe it was her tone or appearance?
Some cities have a big problem with how aggressive some panhandlers get. Numerous people in these cities have complained to local law enforcement and/or social media about this behavior. Law Enforcement sometimes doesn't want to much, if anything, about this problem because of the repercussion that can happen from Homeless Advocates and others who try to protect the homeless. If, and when, a guy walks up to us at a gas pump and asks for change for gas (gas......true or ?), we always say "sorry, don't have any" politely and get going as fast as possible. I just don't trust how these people think and never know how they feel being told "sorry, don't have any".
Are you gaslighting me here? I know you are joking. She was actually clean and groomed, wearing some kind of pants, light top and a cross body bag. I don't know what her thing was. And as I stated she then approached a man. She was bold enough.
I guess all those bullies I've encountered since grade school were trying to tell me I forgot I was fat, ugly and worthless. I know too you are joking but I can't tell you how much it means to me to just be left in peace. With my background people like this cause me a significant amount of anxiety, fear and stress.
This is true. I'm not particularly afraid of mentally ill people. I worked in a state psychiatric hospital for a year in acute admission. Many of these people had severe personality disorders instead of something like schizophrenia. But they, like street people can be unpredictable and you always have to be cautious. Mentally ill people because simply they are mentally ill and street people may feel they have nothing to lose and potentially could harm.
One time I was getting gas, and a guy came up and asked me to buy him some gas or fill his gas can or something. I said, well honestly, I would if I could,,but do you see this car? Do you really think I would be driving this if I had money to spare?? We have all been in situations where we needed help...but other than buying somebody a hamburger...or giving them some change..I am not the one to do it..at this point.
Good thread! Enjoyable. My story: a bedraggled old guy sits out in the heat everyday at the busy intersection in front of the Safeway Store, holding up a sign: VETERAN. WON'T LIE. I NEED A BEER Have never seen him with a smoke, that's in his favor, anyhow. Back in Phoenix years ago, a rash of panhandlers had taken to working the freeway off ramps. One T-V station did a gig on them, interviewing them. One particularly jovial and cooperative guy claimed he was making more money now than ever before when he worked for a living! Phoenix went ahead and passed ordinances banning the practice. Many of them disappeared, but now and then one would be seen, braving the inevitable showing up of a police cruiser. Frank
I hope he took your answer and left you alone. Some people have a sense of entitlement. I don't know what someone could be going through. We get, usually late at night sometimes, people going through the dumpster and recycle bins at my apartment complex. Once though during the day I went down and a couple were going through the bins. I just stated "are you looking for recyclables" and handed them what I had with redemption value. The woman said thank you. Frank, I have heard this can make people a lot of money. I have never handed any over and admit, I don't look at them when I see them at intersections.