Spousal Aggravations

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Frank Sanoica, Sep 18, 2016.

  1. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    If I may be so bold, there is a possibility that I may finally be able to help out my fellow husbands by explaining the issue of the dreaded toilet seat.

    While all humans are creatures of habit, we men also couple that with a sense of practicality which might leave a taught habit of raising the seat somewhere between "chance and purpose".
    In the light of defining what men do, generally speaking we depend on our tools to help us go through life and we have found that gravity is the greatest tool ever invented.
    Notably, if one were to examine how we undress, we allow gravity to sort out where our socks, pants, shorts, shirts, etc will lay until we need them. Instead of picking each of them up, one at a time, we allow them to sit where gravity has placed them until we need them and then we scoop them all up at the same time and tote them to their eventual destination. Saves on time and effort and very efficient.
    The same with the bed. When we get out of it, chances are we will return the same way hence leaving the covers where they are rather than stretching them over the entire frame just to have to undo them when it is time to get back into bed. Again, highly efficient whereas making the bed actually defies gravity and practicality.

    Now, back to the seat in question. We men, again relying on gravity and a thing called manifest destiny, believe that if he aforementioned actions want the toilet seat down, they will arrange such a thing to happen. Thus far in my life, I have only heard the toilet seat go down without my help on a few occasions which makes me much more comfortable that the odds are that the seat should remain up until it is needed to go down at which point a human hand is needed to accomplish such a deed. If that hand happens to belong one's spouse, so be it.
    I am not a pushy taskmaster. I figure that gravity knows it's own schedule and will do what it wants when it wants to do it.

    Dunno about the clock thing though. Time to buy him a little Ben with a bell and no snooze button. As for me, I depend on the dogs to wake me up which is generally around 4:30 AM.

    There now, aren't you far less frustrated now that I have explained that your husband was right all along? Now, he's even more perfect.
     
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  2. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    My wife does the same thing. From the time I set the alarm, she will hit the snooze button 3 or 4 times before finally getting up to get ready for work. Fortunately, I generally will get up after the 2nd "snooze" is hit and then she will. On the weekends, the alarm is not set unless we have to be someplace by 7AM or so (like taking the vehicle in for service). I always seem to be up by 7AM, unless I've had a rough night of sleeping. Weekends I let her sleep in and she sure appreciates that. From way back, I've always been an "early riser" (ex-farmer and former Navy dude).

    Like Babs, I married Mrs. Perfect for me as well!:)
     
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  3. Ike Willis

    Ike Willis Supreme Member
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    WOW! No wonder I'm so happy and contented. I'm divorced and retired.
    83b882bed6c72c45d5c80841cbcd5b6a.gif
     
    #18
  4. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Veteran Member
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    I like @Yvonne Smith was in an abusive first marriage. Where I could not do or say the right thing, constantly criticised and other things not for a forum.

    I walked out from what some thought a luxurious life style in 2007 with just the cat. For the first time in years I loved my single life. Just to be me.

    I vowed from that day I would not let another human being verbally abuse me. I would only gravitate towards people I choose.

    In 2010 I met my current husband and soul mate we married on St Valentine's Day 2014 and have never looked back.

    We just get on, we laugh and just love each others company.

    I am the happiest I have ever been.
     
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  5. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    Ladies, if you want a perfect husband, all it takes is proper training. :D
     
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  6. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Veteran Member
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    Happy to say @Shirley Martin my current husband does not need any training. He is gorgeous. A truly love man :)
     
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  7. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    Lucky woman. :D His mother probably already trained him. :p
     
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  8. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Veteran Member
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    I think coming from quite a large family helped. They all had to muck in. His mum is lovely too :)
     
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  9. Babs Hunt

    Babs Hunt Supreme Member
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    Training helps...being teachable helps alot too. And my husband is very teachable...as am I. :)
     
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  10. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Sort of the same as me. I married my first wife due to total infatuation with looks and sex much more than compatibility and love. After we divorced, I stayed single/divorced for 21 years. I am the "marriage" type, so single life didn't appeal to me at all, but it took those 21 years for me to find the right lady. It's almost "mind blowing" how many interests we share and that we love being together. We've only been apart the entire night two times since meeting almost 17 years ago. Both times were for surgeries/hospital stays we both had. Without a doubt she is my "Soul Mate"!
     
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  11. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    Oh the days when the ladies taught the things of the inside of the house and men taught the things to a man child what was necessary to live outside the house. The outhouse was "out" of the house hence a man child was taught those techniques which were necessary to do his chores within that realm by his dad. Fortunately or unfortunately depending on the person's view, our outhouse had no "uppie down" seats.
    The only argument I knew of was the continual question as to which pages of the Sears and Roebuck catalog were to be used first: The ladies section or the mans.
     
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  12. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
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    Ladies, does your husband leave the toilet seat up???? Does he chew tobacco and spit on the floor???? Does he not listen when you talk to him?????

    I have the solution to all this! For just three easy payments of $9.99, I will send you my book! It's guaranteed to have your hubby behaving like a well trained puppy in practically no time! [​IMG]
    But
    , wait, there's more! If you order in the next ten minutes, I'll send you ABSOLUTELY FREE my companion book! All you do is pay the extra shipping and handling.

    [​IMG]

    Order yours today and have a perfect husband by Christmas. Better yet, order one for you and one for a friend.
     
    #27
  13. Bobby Cole

    Bobby Cole Supreme Member
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    No doubt that being whacked by a book would be much better than with a rolling pin or a skillet.
     
    #28
  14. Honey Gee

    Honey Gee Veteran Member
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    Awh @Cody Fousnaugh so glad you found each other. I do admire how you include your wife in your threads. We are the same we do not like to be parted. Good luck to you both x
     
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  15. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
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    Very nice, thank you!
     
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