I keep reading on Facebook about one or more of my high school classmates getting together for a family outing either in the area they live or in a vacation area in another state. I read about how much fun they have with the grandkids and how fun the grandkids have in general. All I can say is "it must be nice" (sort of sarcastically). Wife and I don't have any kids/grandkids. Because of my dad being married more than once, I have nieces and nephews I've never met and neither them or me really care about meeting. My half-brother and I really don't get along and basically just tolerate talking to each other. We have the same dad, but our personalities are as different as day and night. When my wife's mom was alive, she would get the immediate family (her, wife's sisters, brother and two nieces and their family together in Las Vegas. We would fly in from Colorado and they would drive in from So California. When we lived in N. Carolina, mom, one sister and brother came out to see us for a Thanksgiving. Since MIL died, all of this "family" stuff has come to somewhat of a halt. It's to the point now where BIL doesn't want anything to do with the family. We know there is a difference between flying to see family, or driving up to where we live and paying for an airline ticket to see this "love" of his. It really seems like my wife's family, like us, would rather spend money on something else rather than flying to see each other. And, we are the only ones in the family that have a boat and the expense that comes with it. It just seems kind of sad that the family, including us, don't want to or can't see it to, spend money on seeing each other. But, that's just the way it is.
Since we are so spread out, it's very difficult to all get together with a lot of different reasons why. Some work, some still have kids in school, etc....it's not so much about money in my family but about finding the perfect place and time. We did all go on a cruise for my nieces wedding and that was a blast but even then there were a few who couldn't attend. My oldest niece just had her baby for one thing. They did manage to drive down to the wedding in Key West but didn't do the week cruise with all the rest of us.
With wife's family, as well as us, there seems to always be something else to spend money on rather than to see each other. it seems as if, actually is, that some of my retired classmates, and their spouses, have a very nice retirement income so they can do a number things and, like already stated, don't have a boat or other somewhat expensive hobby. A lot of them have been married since the 70's and are retired teachers. My one classmate retired from Northrope Aircraft and it seems like him and his wife are always "living it up" somewhere. Bottom Line, I guess, is that everyone spends their money the way they see fit and if that doesn't include seeing family, it doesn't.
Actually nobody in my family even gets SS yet, I'm the oldest now that my mom died. We are all over the map though..daughter and family in CA. Sister and 2 nieces in Colorado, brother and his wife in Connecticut, baby sister in NJ, along with some other nieces and a nephew. Son and his family in Illinois... Got someone in every time zone in the states...not counting Hawaii.
I've said this before in other posts, but it holds true in many cases....family isn't always those related to you by blood. They can be and are often close friends and other people who show you they care about you and want to be a part of your life. Often for us Seniors...our pets become our family too. Just as with blood relations, to be family there has to be a desire to share a relationship of giving and nurturing each other on both sides, a willingness to make time with each other a priority, to find ways to get together even when there is alot of miles between y'all. And there also has to be a mutual acceptance and interest in the differences as well as the things you share in common. Where there's a will there is a way...even if that way is just one sided at first.
Never had any kids myself and do admit to a small twinge of jealousy when I see neighbors with the visiting grandkids. I do have the stepson that recently came back into our lives but he does not have kids and probably never will. I have my hubby, my cat, my friends, and now the stepson and his partner.....and that's just the way it is. You make do with what life throws at you.
How could I forget to mention my companion, Pickles! Actually he's the most difficult one in my family to get a long with...everything has to be his way. My family is really a mixed bag when it comes to politics and religion and yet that has never caused any problems between any of us. For some wonderful reason we all get along and we always have.
I've often seen this scenerio in families too, the wife or husband does not like the other spouse's Family so he or she does not want to spend time with them...and vice versa. And often they want their spouse to only spend time with their side of the Family. This also happens alot with friendships. Your spouse may or may not like your friend, but your spouse does not like your friend's spouse, etc. or vice versa. And often the spouse that doesn't like the Family members or friends and their spouses...doesn't want you to have anything to do with them. Which puts the other spouse who loves her/his Family and friends in a very difficult situation which no one should have to be put in. Or even sometimes it turns out to be the friend who ends up not liking your spouse, etc. While you definitely have to consider your spouses feelings...you don't have to give up your Family or friends in the process. And if your spouse won't have anything to do with your Family, but wants you to spend all your time with theirs...this is a problem that needs solving too. And the solution is not in giving up your Family because then you will only end up resenting your spouse for making you feel you had to make that choice. Family is important to all of us, no matter who or what Family to us consists of. But a good Family relationship takes work and time...just like a good marriage does. It just doesn't happen...both sides make it happen because it's worth it to everyone. And you will find out soon enough who it isn't worth it to, but don't close the door on everyone else just because not all family wants to be Family.
Wife's one sister knows how we spend part of our money, because we post pictures of any trip we take on Facebook. She also knows that we had to put money into our boat last year, but doesn't know how much. She has spent money flying to the Army base where her granddaughter is. She bought a wedding dress for her and paid for the wedding a year ago, but that marriage has since ended. IOW, her sister and us know we spent money on other things, instead of seeing each other. Wife's other sister is mentally unable to do much of anything and has been that way for a long time. The sister in So Calif. takes care of her finances. We are planning, but, of course, plans can always change, to fly to Vegas next January for my wife's 70th birthday. Doubt if BIL will go. His interests now is in his lady. Wife's longtime girlfriend and husband said they'd come. Both SIL's should be able to come, but not sure about niece's families. Actually, wife was, and wasn't, that close to her family in So. Calif. when I met her. She hadn't told them, but did tell me, that she had in her mind about moving to Laughlin, NV. Of course, after meeting me, the move changed to Colorado.
I get along with my wife's family fine, although, my wife's oldest sister doesn't understand the kidding around that I do with her. My wife's girlfriend, that she knows from way back in high school and graduated with her, has Lupus, that has affected her marriage. We do have dinner once in a while with her and her husband, but the "closeness" between the ladies sure isn't what it use to be, because of the Lupus. And, her and her husband are "Snowbirds". During the summer they are in Michigan and in winter in Florida. Just don't see them that much. As far as "friends" go, neither of us have "friends", mainly because we can't find anyone that has interests like we do. We totally enjoy doing everything together..........shopping, boating, etc., etc.
I don't make it very often but the 4th of July weekend is the time that most people from Wallace, not specifically family although I was once related to most everyone there, come back home. Between the 4th of July celebration in the park and the church, that's my best chance of seeing family members who have scattered throughout the country and world. Millinocket does something similar on 4th of July, as that is the time when those who have moved away from back to visit.
My daughter, granddaughter and great grandchildren ( who I've never seen) Live 75 miles away and never come. My wife's daughters and grandchildren live 1800 miles away. One of them and her family come every year and the other when she can. Bothe are coming this summer. Her grandchildren of her deceased daughter also live in California and are coming this summer.
Sorry hopped on here for a mintue and saw this....my 3 cents worth...um...as stated family us much more than blood realations. I have two grown daughters...and many grand and great grand kids.....I rarley have ever seen them..and they live close. There are a variety of reasons for this but my youngest and daughter lives in same complex as us and we are close. She sums it up for me all the time when she calls out of frustration with her sister " who tha hell raised her...what household did she come from...moma is she adopted....where does she come up with this stuff ...I know honey I dont know her either