Again with this post, I don't disagree with you, perhaps one thing again ... I honestly, have no baggage ... Had we spoke like this 9 years ago yes, but none remains except my thoughts in the post above .... I just wish men and women could move along more smoothly and in fact, that action might even justify or cause the thought processes you say we need ... but we need them through the actions not before we sail ... I need to correct or clarify ... baggage to me are thought processes that now govern how we think and display ... memories of the past that are dealt with are no longer baggage in my opinion ... just as moving out of the complex I had no business being in (see my opening posts and profile) ended my concerns immediately ... I have no other baggage unless you label lonliness as such for some reason ...
I believe you Michael, but you still are in a transition period which takes adjustment time too....and although you may be free of the baggage of your past, many others might not be...and that will hinder things too. I'm not telling you not to live life...but I am saying you can not force life to be the way you want it to be...or women either. If all you are looking for is fun and a sexual relationship without commitment...then Cody's idea of putting an ad admitting this might be just the thing for you to do. In whatever you decide to do...just be honest.
BTW, Babs, the Personal Ad I placed, and my wife answered, in 2000, was one for a committed relationship. Great thing was, we were both looking for that and marriage.
I know that Cody...and that's what I am talking about to @Michael Santi. He just needs to be honest with himself and women in what he is really looking for. If it's just someone who shares his interests and casual sex, there are plenty of women out there that will settle for that now days. Whatever he is looking for he should be honest in this. That's not being a dirty old man...it's just being honest.
Unfortunately, years ago and today, being called a "dirty old man" is what can happen when a man in his age bracket is "looking". Of course, can also depend on what age said man is looking for. I really don't know who, if anyone, referred to him as this, but it stuck in his mind. He is just explaining to us that he's had a hard time, for whatever reasons. Some men do have a hard time meeting women, while others don't. I basically never did. But, then again, on Friday and Saturday nights, I could almost always be found at a Country-Western nightclub. The ladies loved to dance and I was very good at country dancing. Add a outgoing and aggressive personality and the rest came together. But, I was extremely glad to end all of that and get married.
On all the dating sites I joined I always said I was looking for friends. Then I weeded through the replies and started talking to ones that appealed to me. Always exchanged emails and talked from there instead of through the site. We got to know each other and some I gave my phone number to and then talked to them. It was always a slow getting to know you process before I went out with anyone. I didn't click with most but had some good times and made some friends. The one guy I spent the most time with and maybe could have seen a future with died. Thinking about it, I may have said Relationship or dating but never ever mentioned marriage because that's not what I was looking for.
Funny, but one thing I wasn't was "slow" when it came to meeting a lady. One week after my wife and I met, I asked her to marry me. She accepted, but we waited for a year. Right after moving in with her and her mom, we went to the Diamond District of Los Angeles and I bought a wedding set for her. That evening she put on the engagement ring. From the time I first met her, I knew, without a doubt, that I wanted to marry her. Nope, I wasn't slow and she knew it and accepted it.
My husband wasn't slow either...he proposed one week after we met...married 3 months later and it lasted 35 years until he died. At that time, that felt right. Each relationship is different though. I do know that now I would not marry anyone that asked me after a week.
Do you know what you are looking for @Michael Santi? Is it a for the rest of your life love and partner...or just a companion with fringe benefits to enjoy the things you enjoy? Or something else entirely?
It could end up being both...he might just fall in love with that friend with benefits person. I don't think you can plan love...it just happens.
Am I missing something Michael has made it clear, several times what he is looking for, a decent genuine person