Bigotry Is Still Out There

Discussion in 'Family & Relationships' started by Ina I. Wonder, Jul 25, 2017.

  1. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,568
    Likes Received:
    16,309
    Love that analogy :p
     
    #31
    Chrissy Cross likes this.
  2. Cody Fousnaugh

    Cody Fousnaugh Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2015
    Messages:
    13,051
    Likes Received:
    9,211
    Not you! Anyway, arguing gets old. I've found that out, sort of, with folks who simply can't or won't understand why we want to move from here. Even with all the crime here, people still love this area and think Florida is the "Utopia" of America.

    Basically everyone here is nice, but there are those that I simply don't need in my life. They think I'm annoying and I was even called "unfriendly" by one member. Wife and I both laughed and thought that was hilarious.

    Anyway, we'll see what happens, but if you don't see me replying, it pretty much means.....well, you know what it means.
     
    #32
    Ina I. Wonder likes this.
  3. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2015
    Messages:
    3,499
    Likes Received:
    5,716
    @Cody Fousnaugh , we all have people we should ignore, but don't let mean spirited people get your goat. I sometimes get the feeling that some members wish I would leave this forum as well. BUT, I have too many friend here to just walk away.

    I have no animosity towards those that wish me ill, but at the same time, I am no one's punching bag either. So try to see the people that are aggravating you in whatever way you need to, but stick around, I and (I know) others would miss the points you bring to the forum.

    And as far as Florida goes, I totally agree with you. That's why I live in Texas! Humidity is bad here, but distant family members use to live there, and they too had your complaints. I've never even been there, and so I can't give a genuine opinion on it. So I'll take your word that it isn't worth the trip.

    I lived in Boston, Massachusetts for two years, and although I found it interesting, I new I would never fit in. That is what I truly like about forums, you get the divergence of the people, with none of the hassles.

    Stay cool Cowboy, breath! I would think it somewhat like getting ready to breach the shute on a bronking beast.
     
    #33
  4. Chrissy Cross

    Chrissy Cross Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2015
    Messages:
    19,089
    Likes Received:
    18,921
    Sometimes a short break is good too, that always works for me. I know you're on other forums so at least you have that til you miss us again. :)

    I have some good friends on here that I miss if I'm gone too long because I'm sulking...yes, I sulk sometimes. :)

    I'm on a few forums and they're all good...just different. I do call this one home though. There's probably very few people on here that I agree with totally but nothing wrong with that.

    Don't forget you can also use the "ignore" feature. Ive done that with different people at different times.
     
    #34
    Last edited: Jul 26, 2017
  5. Kate Ellery

    Kate Ellery Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2015
    Messages:
    37,935
    Likes Received:
    9,029
    I will,tell you my daughter married a man who was born in Vietnam ...he and his family came to Australia to live when he was 2 years old ..and if you spoke to him on the phone you'd never know he was Vietnamese .....but did my daughter suffer any backlash from marrying him ...not to my knowledge ...but the two children of that marriage did ..they suffered at school being referred to as *# *# no im not going to say that word ..it's a slang word for our indigenous people ....and I had a neighbour yell at me while walking down the street with my grandaughters TELLING. Me not to,walk on his side of the street with those "slope" kids (a slang word for Vietnamese)
    how dare a mature man treat and frighten little kids like that .they would have been about 4 and 7 at the time
     
    #35
    Hedi Mitchell and Ina I. Wonder like this.
  6. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2015
    Messages:
    3,499
    Likes Received:
    5,716
    @Kate Ellery , I would have taken my babies home, picked up one of my very large male family members, (Just to make sure I didn't get flattened by that very rude person. Then I would have informed that @*^%#+- that he could be arrested for abuse of a child. I have seen parents charged with that for cursing their own children, much less someone's own.
     
    #36
    Patsy Faye and Kate Ellery like this.
  7. Shirley Martin

    Shirley Martin Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2015
    Messages:
    56,522
    Likes Received:
    24,137
    Usually when a person posts that they are going to leave a board, they just want someone to beg them to stay. It works, too. if they mean to go, they will just stop posting.
     
    #37
    Holly Saunders and Sheldon Scott like this.
  8. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,568
    Likes Received:
    16,309
    @Kate Ellery - will never understand the thinking process of people like this
    makes me feel sick :( How can an adult harm children like this
    They need to be charged and given lessons on 'adult' thinking on humanity and kindness
     
    #38
    Ina I. Wonder and Chrissy Cross like this.
  9. Sheldon Scott

    Sheldon Scott Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
    Messages:
    2,995
    Likes Received:
    4,759
    So true! I've seen it several times. Those who say they are going to leave never do. They seem to have a need for attention.
     
    #39
  10. Hedi Mitchell

    Hedi Mitchell Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Mar 18, 2017
    Messages:
    9,429
    Likes Received:
    16,586
    Listen up this may be too long but: Have you noticed that comment is always about she or he married a black person. I never heard comment about oh she or he married a Asian,Indian, Mexican, or etc. To me this is why bigotry is even around.Singling out one particular race.Not referring to just on this board, it is everywhere, and i can not figure out, why it is so unacceptable to marry or date a black person but not of any other race.
    My father was a bigot and it caused many heartache in our family. My mother had a love of all people, he did not share that view, and would not let her see or associate with any black co workers. My family today looks like a box of oreo cookies. I have biracial grand kid, and many great grand kids that are biracial. I am sure my dad turneth in his grave at the thought.
    My point of view is this: It is not about color- it is about cultural differences. There are cultural differences among many white people.
    Most of my great grand kids, who I never see much, are the hip hop, hand posing eubonic speaking black. They were raised on the Hood as they say.
    These particular set of bi racial families live by a different code of ethics , than you or me. It drives me nuts, but not their color, just the behavior and way they present themselves. But then my bi racial grand daughter acts totally different than her cousins.
    Point being, it is not color that makes you, its a great many factors in your life and how you project yourself.
    My father was very upset when my mothers sister married a filipino man, then later married a japanese man. He based things their race, and what he thought he knew about them. I have racial storIes, bu this always gets me:
    Four years ago a woman wanted to give her dog a new home,as she could not afford him. I never really thought about her race she looked somewhat hispanic to me. She became depressed after giving me the dog, so I would visit her off and on. One day the talk turned to race and my biracial kin.
    She turned to me and said Oh God I hate black people, you know how we are! I like to fell off the couch. She was a black lady. We both just roared with laughter . She explained to me why she dis liked her own race, but only remember her comment about They the blacks always complaining about their lot in life. That woman was was Radar my sweetie dogs previous owner.
    And by the way, a common complaint by blacks...if they try and become more like us white folk...they are accused of trying to be white.
    On occasion something my mother once said sticks out in my head, about many different things in life and people Blind men cant see :)
     
    #40
    Patsy Faye and Ina I. Wonder like this.
  11. Patsy Faye

    Patsy Faye Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2015
    Messages:
    13,568
    Likes Received:
    16,309
    I don't blame blacks one bit for having 'attitude'
    If I had seen my parents hosed down or signs that said 'whites only' - I'd have attitude too
    Yes its a shame that some have turned to drugs and gangs, but then so have whites :rolleyes:
    I have no patience for ignorant talk - we ruined people by 'our attitude' :(
     
    #41
  12. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2015
    Messages:
    3,499
    Likes Received:
    5,716
    I do understand @Gloria Mitchell. Back in '84, we adopted a young black boy from the Virgin Islands. He was 16, and had been abandoned by his father. His French accent was so strong that it took almost two years just for us to understand him. I grew up in and out of foster homes, so I knew a young teenage black boy with a communication problem was going to be up a creek. So we sort of hid him in amongst our four kids, and when he became an adult we adopted him, which gave him citizenship.

    He married a white girl, and they gave me my granddaughter, Sara. When her mother died, I took over raising Sara, and this year she gave me a great-granddaughter. I could not love them more than I already do now. But I'm sad to say, they live on the East coast, and I don't know if I'll be able to see them again.

    My parents met in the bars of Oregon, and until my father "got" religion, they seemed to get along. I have many Christian friends, but none of them are of the fire and brimstone variety, as he was. Once my father became sober, it seems he decided that my Native American mother was someone to be ashamed of. He jokingly called himself a square-headed German, and not so jokingly, he called my mother a blanket assed savage. So I became a square-headed blanket-assed savage. I've never met anyone else so bigoted. In a way he became responsible for my not becoming a bigot.
     
    #42
    Hedi Mitchell and Patsy Faye like this.
  13. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    25,486
    Likes Received:
    45,664
    I don't get racism. It makes no sense to make assumptions about someone based on their race alone. Yes, there are neighborhoods throughout the world where people of a specific race are dangerous to those of another race, or from another neighborhood, and I don't consider this acknowledgement as being racist.

    Years ago, Jesse Jackson said that if he were walking on a dark street at night and heard the footsteps of someone coming up behind him, he would be relieved to find that they were white. He was living in Chicago, and simply acknowledging that there was a greater chance of a black man being harmed by a group of black people than by white people.

    When I drove a co-worker, who was Mexican-American, home to Santa Ana, California for a week or so, he warned me about driving around his neighborhood, because a white person could be in danger from Mexican-Americans there. That too, was simply an acknowledgement of fact.

    It becomes racism when you take these anecdotal, or purely regional, facts and conclude that all black people are dangerous or that all Mexican-Americans will kill white people driving through their neighborhood, or even that there is a greater propensity for it. What we may view as characteristics of a race of people have more to do with experience, upbringing, and a lack of opportunity than race, or even genetics.

    Not every racist is an evil person, either. That too, has much to do with experience. My father's only encounters with Japanese people was when they were shooting at him during World War II, and those who held him prisoner on an island in the Pacific. His experiences with the Japanese led him to believe that the Japanese were horrible people. He didn't go around talking bad about the Japanese, and he certainly didn't go around persecuting people of Japanese heritage, and wouldn't have done so even if there were any around, but he felt uncomfortable around Japanese people, and there is no way that he would eat in a Japanese restaurant. Had there been any Japanese people living in the little town of Wallace, he probably wouldn't have been able to avoid them, and he very likely would have come to realize that not all Japanese people were horrible. I think he realized that anyhow, but his experiences ran counter to that. The only time I can remember his talking about it, I told him that the Japanese probably didn't like him very much either, and that didn't go over so well.

    If the only Mexican-Americans that someone has contact with are those from a bad neighborhood, who would seek to kill him, it wouldn't be entirely unreasonable to have negative feelings about Mexican-Americans. But some positive interactions with Mexican-Americans could change that.

    When I enrolled in college, I was asked if I had any objections to having a black roommate, and it seemed like a stupid question to be asking in 1970. Why would I? Apparently some people did because, while there weren't a whole lot of black students at Northern Michigan University, one of my two roommates was black.

    Although other things might factor into it, racism has more to do with experiences than anything else, I think. If the only venison that I had ever eaten was the nasty stuff they made in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas, I would conclude that deer meat was nasty stuff. However, having had venison in Michigan and Maine, I know that it has more to do with what the deer eats than anything else, and it might be an acquired taste. I like the taste of venison from white-tailed deer in Michigan and Maine, but I don't like the taste of the same species of animal from the Rio Grande Valley of Texas.

    It's all about our experiences. My experiences with Mexican-Americans have been good. Oh for sure, I have come across Mexican-Americans who wouldn't be considered good but, after twelve years in California and twenty in the Rio Grande Valley of Texas, I have met plenty of Mexican-Americans who are better people than I am, so if I'm mugged by a Mexican-American tomorrow, that would form my opinion of that one individual only. My experiences with black Americans has also been overwhelmingly positive, or at least neutral.

    That's where groups like Black Lives Matter and La Raza are truly dangerous. Their actions serve only to form bad opinions about black people, or Mexican people, in those who have not had experiences to counter them. I don't believe that this is a misstep on their part however, because I believe that their goal is not to be equal or accepted, but to cause racial division and to dominate. When these are the only black people that someone experiences, bigotry is the anticipated result.
     
    #43
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2017
  14. Ina I. Wonder

    Ina I. Wonder Supreme Member
    Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2015
    Messages:
    3,499
    Likes Received:
    5,716
    Hi @Ken Anderson, I do think your right in your theory, but unhappily I think other factors might play into it as well. I have seen jealousy play a big part in bigotry. I frequently see examples of this when a person sees someone who is eligible for benefits that he/she may not be eligible for. Then you hear comments like, Those _ _ _ _ always get a free ride on the government. BUT NOT ME" ", or, "I bet everyone one of those _ _ _ _ have a Cadillac in their driveway."

    Then there are those that just need to hate. My father was one of those. There was so much hatred in him, and he used the Bible as a means to wield his version of fire and brimstone hatred. He was a hardworking, loving, gentle father, until he quit drinking when I was around five or six years old. My mother told me that my father got into one of his regular Saturday night bar fights, and for the first time he had to spend the night in jail.

    I have a memory of my brother and I playing in the back seat of our 1951 Studebaker (sp) while waiting for my father to come out of the jail. I clearly remember how he looked when he walked out the front door of that small police station. I could sense his hatred at the world, and then everything became a sin. He hated anyone who wasn't white or male.

    But, I do think you're right about experiences, and I think it causes the majority of bigotry. It was my experiences that caused me to decide to do my best to not hate others for things they had no control of.


    Bigotry has been around from the beginning of time, and I think it will remain on earth until the end of humanity or time. I do wonder if it is intrinsic to man's basic nature. Maybe in a self preservation way.
     
    #44
  15. Ken Anderson

    Ken Anderson Senior Staff
    Staff Member Senior Staff Greeter Task Force Registered

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2015
    Messages:
    25,486
    Likes Received:
    45,664
    @Ina I. Wonder, I don't know that it's racist to be upset over someone being given special rights because of their race, skin color, sex, or anything else. When people of one race have more rights than those of another, that is racism. Assuming that someone of a particular race is getting a free ride is another matter.
     
    #45
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2017
    Yvonne Smith and Ina I. Wonder like this.

Share This Page