Funny how a lot of us think that the kids of today are spoiled with getting things. Then again, some parents make a darn nice salary and that shows on birthdays and Christmas. My wife told me yesterday that her mother always made sure that her and her sisters and brother had a nice birthday and Christmas. Her mom made sure that her two husbands knew that was a requirement of marriage. "We will give the kids a nice Christmas" she told both of them. And then after both passed away, she continued with the gifts. She worked as an Accountant and made a nice salary. For me, it sure wasn't as nice as hers! Oh I got gifts for Christmas and one for my birthday from my step-parents, but not so much of the "that's exactly what I wanted" came from me, like it did with my wife. But, then again, my step-dad didn't make nearly as much as my wife's mom did. He worked in a lumber yard. So, how were your parents with gift-giving to you and your siblings?
We got the occasional gift...something very little or cheap... but mostly we didn't get Christmas or birthday presents... although I do remember on my 13th Birthday my mum bought me a gold signet ring...... I have no idea to this day why I was singled out for this gift, but it's a memory I always treasure.. That said my little sister...the last of our group of 4 at home, got lots of gifts.. dolls, houses , puppets, dolls, swings, a bike...you name it... I still have no idea why we 3 older ones were given very little or nothing apart from a stocking with a cheap toy and a satsuma.. but she was given everything she wanted..
Actually, Holly, I forgot that my wife did tell me that her one sister (youngest one) did get more than her, her brother or her older sister. To this day, my wife doesn't know why, other than the youngest sister was not a planned child.
I'm just waiting to see how others on this forum fared with gifts on birthdays and Christmas. My cousins done very nice, but their father owned a Standard Gas Station in the town they lived in.
We weren't rich, we were between middle and upper middle both as a child and as a parent. My daughter and SIL I consider rich but not filthy rich. Her brother is on the way but he is 5 years behind her in career and also he didn't marry Rich like my daughter did. His wife is a dentist but came from middle class just like we were. They also have one more child. Also, dentists seeem to make more in California than in Illinois. Lots of cosmetic expensive procedures here. It's my daughter who contributes about $3,000 a month to my living expenses and my son probably about $2-300. He pays for my flights though and my trip to Maui 2 yrs ago..all inclusive. My daughter goes overboard in presents to me...my son gets me just a tad more than they get his MIL. She has a job but is not rich so I'm sure part of that goes into the dynamics of what's what. My SIL is generous with me. His parents are wealthy, they don't need anything from him.
Believe me, Chrissy, many people would consider the family you grew up in as more upper class than middle class . Just as they’d consider your family (as a mom) more upper class than middle class. I mean, your husband did make a darn good salary and financially took very good care of you and your kids. Some folks think we are upper class-to- rich, because we have a power boat and two vehicles. However, when they find out our boat is a 1992, our truck is a 1997 (and looks like it) and our SUV is A 2005, they can really change their mind about the class they “thought” we were in.
My husband did make a good salary but not when we first married. I made sacrifices to be a stay at home mom, we weren't rolling in dough, believe me. I would say my dad made more than my husband for the times they worked. Because my mom was a stay at home mom and was a wonderful mom, I thought it would be better to be at home for my kids than work outside the home. I might have been wrong and they would have turned out just fine if I worked. So far, all my grandsons are doing great and both their parents work. So who knows...I think it works either way as long as you spend quality time with them and instill strong values and morals. Although my oldest grandson has his college paid for By his parents and gets $500 a month allowance his parents still made him get a summer job.
I know my wife’s parents, and later just her mom, done better than just “ok”. From the pictures we’ve got, they lived in a nice house in a nice suburb of Detroit, owned a nice lake cottage, a ski boat and a smaller outboard boat her brother used. However, as her mom got older, and the kids moved out on their own or married, she spent less and less on her kids or herself. Heck, when my wife went thru a divorce and moved in with her, she would complain how much money my wife would spend on different things. But, by this time, my wife had her Bachelors Degree in Business/Accounting and a 50K year job. That was in 1999. She saved, but she also had some fun as well! As for my, I wasn’t spoiled at home with really nice gifts and sure didn’t spoil myself with nice gifts after the Navy. My salaries never called for any kind of “spoiling” for me.
I'd rather spoil others than spoil myself...just the way I am. I just really don't want or need anything. I do spoil my grandsons as much as my puddly widows benefits allow and I enjoy that. Although my older grandsons insist they don't need anything anymore.
Even though I really wasn’t spoiled by my step-parents, I tried, and the key word is “tried”, to spoil myself at times, even with the low salary I made.
Growing up in a family of nine kids this is what I remember....whatever Santa Claus put under the tree for us each Christmas we were more than happy with and I never remember feeling like Santa didn't bring me everything I wanted...or needed. It wasn't about how many gifts or how much money was spent on us back then...or now for me. It was more that we were all together, had a Christmas tree that we all helped decorate, went to Christmas Eve midnight mass together, and Christmas Day played with what Santa brought us and ate a wonderful turkey dinner that my Moma cooked. It was the love we had for each other and being together at Christmas that made Christmas priceless for me and my siblings and my Mom and Dad. Birthdays there was always a homemade cake and eight siblings plus dad and mom to sing Happy Birthday to each one of us. I can't even remember if we got presents for our Birthday or not and it really doesn't seem to matter to me if I did or did not. We had each other, enough food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over our heads. And every once in awhile my dad would surprise us with gifts even though it wasn't Christmas or our Birthdays. Although I enjoy buying gifts for my children and grandchildren, etc. my shopping is not about how much money I can spend on them...it is more can I find something that they will really love. Sometimes I hit it just right...other times it is just another gift they will use for a little while and probably not even remember who gave it to them. I think if you asked anyone of us what is our favorite gift at Christmas time or Birthdays...we all basically would have the same answer....the gift of our Family time together during these celebrations is the best gift of all and priceless to all of us.
Family togetherness is all great and well, but when a child knows there are cousins and school friends that are getting really, really neat things for Christmas and birthdays, that child can feel jealous. I was quit jealous of my cousins whose dad owned and ran the gas station. Heck, they even had a ski boat. My cousin had a collection of model cars, that he put together, that was beautiful. There was no wonder I enjoyed spending some weekend with the cousins! I was very jealous of them! My step-parents took very good care of me (roof over my head and food in the tummy), but compared to the way my cousins lived and what they had, my step-parents were very strict, with a lot less money.
@Cody Fousnaugh , I expect that your step parents, like my parents, did the best for you that they could do. We were poor and they couldn't give us all the things that well to do parents could give their children. When I look back now, my heart aches for them. I'm sure they wanted to give us everything we wanted but simply didn't have the money to do it.