Question About Feelings And Sensitivity

I have found that it seems the more I age the easier I get my feelings hurt. As a man this is not an easy thing to admit to, so please be considerate in your response because my question is sincere. Thank you for those who choose to respond.

 

There's nothing wrong with being sensitive. I prefer it to macho.

I'm not a man but I'm sensitive too.

 

Nice post Terry - do like a man that shares his feelings
I try not to be sensitive by analysing situations for a while, if I have been deliberately hurt - its bye bye

 

Hi terry,

It'll be interesting to see the male posters' replies to you, to understand if this is something that is usual in males as you get older.

 

For me how sensitive I might be to having my feelings hurt depends on how much I care about the person or thing that might cause those hurt feelings.

 

So Babs, do you think it means perhaps I care more now than when I was younger? Is it just me or do others think it's part of aging. Does it happen to both women and men?

 

Since I don't know you personally I can't really say whether perhaps you do care more now than when you were younger...but I can say that maybe you cared just as much when you were younger but didn't fine it as easy to express back then.

I've always been sensitive...people said that I wore my heart on my sleeve...but now at 67 I find I still care as much but I've been through so much in my life that I just don't take it as seriously as I once did. When someone hurt me when I was younger it sometimes felt like it was the end of the World. Now I just think to myself that they have a right to what they think or believe...even if I don't agree or like it. I've mellowed as I've aged and I don't let things or people bother me as much as I did when I wanted everyone to like me because I felt a stronger need to belong.

 

I'm not sure if that's the same with me. I'd say that I used to be more vulnerable when I was younger. Younger people are very often not particularly sensitive, especially when they are in a group. If you don't belong to a pack, they'd do everything to hurt you. I was heavily dependent, I lacked experience, sometimes I didn't have the right means, I was unsure about the future, I had health problems, just to name a few things.
With age it's just the other way around. Now I'm independent, I'm experienced....etc. I'd venture to say that now I'm better at putting things into perspective. That helps me to get hurt less often and to cope with challenges. I'm not saying that I've become invulnerable, though. Yet I'm way more self-confident than I used to be when I was younger. The change came in my thirties.
What also helps is the "bubble" I live in. I don't see the point in socialising with people who are likely to offend me and to hurt my feelings. Now I have and can easily defend my comfort zone. That simply wasn't possible when I was younger. And, as a rule, most people become more civilised with age thus reducing the chances of getting hurt to the same degree than when I was younger.

 

Yea - me too !

 

I understand. I was speaking of life in general not on these forums. But I really do appreciate your point. Thank you.

 

I am a NLP master practitioner. NLP is Neurolinguistic Programming it basically understands how the brain works. What you are describing is when information comes in you deal with it first by feeling this is because you are in an associated state. We view income information in either associated or disassociated state. The disassociated state you get the information and not the feeling great for high stress jobs. There are techniques that you can learn to put yourself in a disassociated state to handle incoming information. Like pretending you’re a mouse in the corner when someone is talking.

 

@Holly Saunders @Terry A Moore "It'll be interesting to see the male posters' replies to you, to understand if this is something that is usual in males as you get older."

Not this male, at any rate. I'm used to so much ridicule and banter that it just rolls off: I consider the source.
Frank

 

That's good to be able to do. I've always been pretty sensitive. Considering the source is good advice. Sometimes though one is forced to be around the source, such as the workplace. Sadly.

 

I learned not to be sensitive in my twenties. Before then, I had always lived in some kind of familiar "bubble". I sometimes have an anger management problem (not violent, though), so I usually avoid people who offend me or are offended by me.