Wow, wish I had his energy though...how old is he? If they're pretty much all,the same in price and accommodations I'd choose the one that's most convenient for you.
@Chrissy Cross He's 88. I always worried my mother would be a burden but I never really saw him coming. And again no support from my brother. Last email was three words. No offer of support, no sorry, no empathy, no nothing. I think you are right about the most convenient one.
At that age, it is possible that he may remain in some kind of assisted living facility, and not be able to go back home to his own place. However, if he is able to do that, Medicare should be sending someone out to help take care of him, so it should not all be left up to you to have to do. When I was in the hospital with the heart procedure, they were careful to make sure that I was not going to be home alone and that I had someone there with me in case I needed help. If I had lived alone, they would have provided me with some kind of care , or equipment like a wheel chair, and probaby would have put me in some kind of a facility if I had been alone and needed constant care; so I think that Medicare should be doing this for your stepfather as well. Probably, if you talk with his doctors at the hospital, they can tell you what help is available for him after he is released from the rehab facility.
Thanks @Yvonne Smith I just don't know how this is going to play out. If he would accept help or what. When my mother was in and out of the hospital the last year of her life and in a nursing home the last 3 weeks, he took care of everything for her. I don't know what he will accept or what I'll be able to handle.
From what you have said about your stepfather, he may not be capable of handling his own affairs, even if that is what he wants. It is a hard situation, because a person needs to feel in control of their life; but when that person is going without food or other necessities because of mismanagement of their funds, then someone has to step in, whether the person likes it or not. Maybe , start with asking at the rehab facility, about how long they think he is apt to be there, and whether they think he will recover enough to go back home and live alone again. They deal with people in this physical and mental condition every day, and they should be able to give you at least a good idea of what to expect, and that will help you to plan what your stepfather is going to need. If he was in the military, then the VA might also help him ? My ex, mostly due to not having money that he spent on food, finally started blacking out and falling in his apartment, and then he would end up in the hospital for a few days. All three of our children offered to let him come and live with them, but he refused and always went back to his apartment. The last time this happened, the hospital refused to let him go home and live alone, and they put him in a VA home, and that is where he is now living, and it looks like that may be where he stays from now on. The last I heard, his apartment lease was up, and so they removed all of his stuff, and put it in storage, and I am not sure what is happening as far as finances, except what the VA does as a protective payee. If you can get more input from the doctors about how much recovery can be expected for your stepfather, then it should help you to make better decisions about his care once he is released.
@Yvonne Smith I hate the idea of him eventually ending up in a home but in the end, that could be a possibility. Perhaps not this time but even with a return home, I'm anticipating another fall or something. He has a good income form a county retirement and social security. He refused to buy a new car after his was rear ended and totaled. Though he had cash in savings and income to afford a car payment if he wanted to go that route. His savings could go for medical bills now, though he does have supplemental insurance though his retirement. I had asked him to have some landscaping done on his side yard at the park. He refused due to the cost. Again, money he has. Right before breaking his hip he was talking about "renting a rototiller" for the side yard. I told him no way. He had got a notice from the park that the weeds needed to be cut down. Eventually the park did it for him.
BTW, I wasted two days taking him to car dealerships and he wanted to drive one up a hill though there are essentially no hills in this town. After two wasted days, he refused to buy a car stating he would in the fall. That was almost two years ago.
Kitty, could you enroll him in a home care system? They would check on him daily and that would lift some of the burden from you. Some insurances pay for it and some don't; you would have to check. There are also those "emergency beeper" button devices that allow a patient to call for help if needed. I always worry about being a burden on my loved ones. I had a short span of it and it made me feel terrible. Perhaps he is feeling the same way and doesn't want to burden you.
I'm sure you will choose a good place for him Kitty and since you worked in all of them at least you have some knowledge of what he can expect there. How long will he be in Rehab? And did you find a solution for his cats? Men do think different from woman when it comes to things...he may have a perfectly logical reason (to him) why he put that huge tire where he did....even if it isn't logical to you. You're a good woman to be there for your stepdad Kitty.
Thanks @Babs Hunt though I admit I'm very resentful. I've spent much of my life alone, never married because of the house I grew up in and have no want to be someone's caregiver. The tire thing is just poor judgement and his thinking that it will be stolen I'm sure. Which is ridiculous. @Don Alaska I don't know about the home care or if he will accept it. Will have to see. As far as being a burden, I'm not sure how he feels about it. My mother loved to be a burden and had an insatiable need for attention. She was what I know now to be a Borderline Personality Disorder. My stepfather was her enabler and put up with her all those years. But he chose to marry her. Not knowing what he was getting into of coarse.
My stepfather is at the nursing and rehab facility as of yesterday. I went there an hour after he was supposed to be admitted but he wasn't there yet, so I went over this morning and will again this afternoon on my way to see his cats. I incompetence is so blatant. The AM nurse told me she had no number for me or information sheet. This is typical as they don't think about what is needed, just getting the admission. And no one even bothered to turn on the closed captioning on the TV for him so I did. These are the little things I've tried to do for patients over the years but I've known it to be lacking in many. I'll be watching them closely. Already there were 3 people I've known working there.
My stepfather told me where his check book is and I am unable to find it there. I looked other places for it. He said it was in his bottom night stand drawer. The drawer is so heavy with stuff it can be barely opened and closed. I removed things and looked and looked. Why would he put his check book that is needed in such a hard place to access, even for him at 88. I feel like I've been pulled into the twilight zone of weird, senseless decisions and I'm now stuck there in his world.